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"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

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ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

I've read a lot about, and experienced some of, the female led lifestyle.  However, despite the concept of the "all powerful" domme, in reality everyone has weaknesses.  For instance, several years ago I was in a relationship with a woman in which we shared expenses, had a joint checking account, etc.  While I generally deferred to her about most discretionary choices, I soon figured out that she had no idea how to live within a budget, and that unless I ultimately controlled the finances, we'd quickly become bankrupt.

How do you reconcile such realities with the goal of a female led relationship?  It seems to me that it's fairly easily if the domme isn't good with something that can be classified as menial (i.e., she's not much into washing dishes or doing laundry, so she has the sub do those things), but it's a bit trickier when you get into areas like financial management, that tend to have attributes of control and power associated with them.

Regards, ATP

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ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

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ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

I've read a lot about, and experienced some of, the female led lifestyle.  However, despite the concept of the "all powerful" domme, in reality everyone has weaknesses.  For instance, several years ago I was in a relationship with a woman in which we shared expenses, had a joint checking account, etc.  While I generally deferred to her about most discretionary choices, I soon figured out that she had no idea how to live within a budget, and that unless I ultimately controlled the finances, we'd quickly become bankrupt.

How do you reconcile such realities with the goal of a female led relationship?  It seems to me that it's fairly easily if the domme isn't good with something that can be classified as menial (i.e., she's not much into washing dishes or doing laundry, so she has the sub do those things), but it's a bit trickier when you get into areas like financial management, that tend to have attributes of control and power associated with them.

Regards, ATP

While it's quite true that none of us are perfect, the strength and power is in the delegation of duties. For example. My previous was in finance. It didn't make alot of sense for me to take over something that he was obviously the expert on and had studied. We did work things so that although he had the duty and the responsibility to handle the financial books, I still held the control.

We sat down every Sunday and went over expenses. He had a weekly discretionary spending amount (or allowance) and his receipts were saved during the week and gone over. If I felt he was spending irresponsibly then the frivolous amount was deducted from the following week's allowance. Any amount left from the previous week also was deducted from the week to come.

Through the bank we arranged that both of our names had to be signed on every check, every payment, every financial redirection and decision. Nothing was done until I had approved and signed for it. If there was something that he thought needed to be done it was presented as a formal proposal, discussed to my satisfaction and then I determined whether or not we were to go ahead with his suggestions. The basis is that I had the power of Veto. If I didn't sign off on it; it didn't happen.

The only time this was dispensed with was in the case of holidays and birthdays and discretionary gifts. Without telling me what was being purchased he would request a specific amount to be spent and I would approve or deny the request. he would then make the purchase and return the card to me immediately afterwards. He had no individual access to any of the finances themselves without having my approval or signatory.

So, it can be worked out that the control is still held by the Dominant while the actual responsibility of upkeep and duty are left to the submissive. It's all in the way it's delegated.

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ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

I've read a lot about, and experienced some of, the female led lifestyle.  However, despite the concept of the "all powerful" domme, in reality everyone has weaknesses.  For instance, several years ago I was in a relationship with a woman in which we shared expenses, had a joint checking account, etc.  While I generally deferred to her about most discretionary choices, I soon figured out that she had no idea how to live within a budget, and that unless I ultimately controlled the finances, we'd quickly become bankrupt.

How do you reconcile such realities with the goal of a female led relationship?  It seems to me that it's fairly easily if the domme isn't good with something that can be classified as menial (i.e., she's not much into washing dishes or doing laundry, so she has the sub do those things), but it's a bit trickier when you get into areas like financial management, that tend to have attributes of control and power associated with them.

Regards, ATP

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ORIGINAL: earthycouple

Beautiful.  Exactly as I want things done in this home.  I strive towards this goal; thank you SDFemDom4cuck for laying this out perfectly.

To the OP:  I believe if the dominant can't see the forest through the trees there is a huge problem.  A good dominant knows her weaknesses and handles them in such a way that she's not screwing herself of those in her charge.  So in my opinion if she's that blind there is little to reconcile.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Isn't it wonderful when great minds think alike?  

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ORIGINAL: earthycouple
To the OP:  I believe if the dominant can't see the forest through the trees there is a huge problem.  A good dominant knows her weaknesses and handles them in such a way that she's not screwing herself of those in her charge.  So in my opinion if she's that blind there is little to reconcile.