Next step? (Full Version)

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ned5435 -> Next step? (7/2/2007 11:08:34 PM)

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Next step? (7/2/2007 11:13:00 PM)

You were stupid.  Stop being stupid.



AquaticSub -> RE: Next step? (7/2/2007 11:15:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Well, you've already hurt your wife if she finds out you were cheating (assuming you don't have her permission) so the question is: Who do you want to hurt and who do you think is more likely to take you in?



angelslave77 -> RE: Next step? (7/2/2007 11:23:28 PM)

You cant have your cake and eat it too (to use a tired old saying), you have to make a choice. I personally think if you lose both of them, you had it coming, for heavens sake she was looking for 24/7 what did you think would happen and I assume your wife doesnt know?

I gotta say I agree with Lucky Albatross




astarri -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 12:03:24 AM)

What good is cake if you can't eat it? I never understood this phrase.

to the op: You had fun living in another world. Time to come back to the reality you already have.



RealDom69 -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 12:48:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Does your wife know?  tell her you have a slave... simple.... if you're frightened of your wife then you're not a Dom and should let the slave go..
just my opinion..

:))
Johnny Reble



becca333 -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 1:03:51 AM)

If you're cheating on your wife you deserve whatever you get.  I feel sorry for the only innocent person in this - your poor wife.



Focus50 -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 2:16:16 AM)

How's a 56yo sposta know that cheating on the missus could cause all manner of heartache until you try it, ay? 
 
No fool like an old fool....
 
Focus.



MasterScotsWill -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 2:42:10 AM)

I would say let the slave go.  You say you will not mind if she found an other Master that would share her, that to me shows that you don't realy care for her  You just want the best of both worlds.  I feel sorry for your wife as she is the innocent person in this.



julietsierra -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 3:51:33 AM)

Ok, for a moment, instead of presuming that the man is cheating on his wife, let's approach this from a different point of view.

You're married.
She's not.

You wanted a part time submissive/slave
She wanted full time.

Presumably both of you were aware of each other's limitations and desires.

Both of you messed up.

You didn't listen to her when she said she wanted full time. You hoped you could have her on strictly your terms.

She didn't listen to you when you said you couldn't do full time. She hoped she could have you on her terms.

You, hearing that she wanted someone full time and ignoring it, gave her the impression that full time MIGHT be a possibility further on down the road. Her impressions were wrong.

She, hearing that you couldn't do full time and ignoring that to still get involved with you gave you the impression that full time was just not as necessary to her as she was making it out to be. Your impressions were wrong.

The only thing that's the constant here is that
1) you're married
2) you don't want full time
3) she does want full time.

Now would probably be a good time to realize what you should have realized early on - that this submissive is a lovely lady and will probably do someone very proud. Unfortunately, due to your limitations, it can't be you.

You COULD always whine and make all three of your lives a living hell by trying to hold on to her when ultimately she deserves what you have - someone in her life on a full time basis - it's what she's always said she wanted. OR you could man up and let her go so that she can find the right person for her.

The question I suppose is just how MUCH do you care for her? Do you only care for her enough to keep her waiting and hoping in vain? Or do you care for her enough to take the hit, knowing that ultimately, she will find happiness and have that her happiness will be good enough for you?

That would be your decision. I'm hoping you make a better one than you did the first time around.

Whether your wife knows is immaterial at this point. What's important is what you're going to do with the situation you have right here, right now.

Beyond that, your relationship with your wife is your own concern.
juliet



windchymes -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 4:48:55 AM)

You need to decide which one you CAN live without and then do it.



MadRabbit -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 4:58:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Well...once again...in the close minded ignorance that can often be Collarme.com...the general public has somehow managed to conclude from these 4-5 sentences of information that...

The man is cheating on his wife.

That somwhow he is in the idiot for entering the relationship and not the slave DESPITE the fact that it says there was an understanding that he was married and temporary.

That clearly its not possible its the slave fault for entering a relationship that wasnt
ultimately what she wanted.

That once again he is an idiot for developing an emotional connection with someone...as if somehow we can control who we develop these connections with.

Perhaps maybe his wife is quite aware of the relationship, but the fear of loss/hurt is coming from realization that he fell in love with the woman?

Perhaps both the slave and the Master entered into a relationship in a mature way, even though if it didnt meet their full expectations, and things just developed differently then they wanted?

The real fools here are all the people making asasine assumptions from this limited information.

I wonder how many posters here have fallen for someone who wasnt exactly the best match for them.

To steal Stephann's Nietzsche quote, "There is madness in love, but some reason in madness."



becca333 -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 5:06:15 AM)

It's interesting what different people can read from the same piece of information.

But I still think he's a cheating rat.



MadRabbit -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 5:07:16 AM)

And I think your really a man!



becca333 -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 5:24:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

And I think your really a man!



Presumably you think this is some kind of insult?

And you're a...?



MadRabbit -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 5:28:11 AM)

Not an insult at all. Just making a point.

Since we are all making opinions that are based solely on assumption, I made one as well.



becca333 -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 5:30:56 AM)

How sweet.  I've made some about you too.

Have a nice day.



julietsierra -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 6:35:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Well...once again...in the close minded ignorance that can often be Collarme.com...the general public has somehow managed to conclude from these 4-5 sentences of information that...

The man is cheating on his wife.

That somwhow he is in the idiot for entering the relationship and not the slave DESPITE the fact that it says there was an understanding that he was married and temporary.

That clearly its not possible its the slave fault for entering a relationship that wasnt
ultimately what she wanted.

That once again he is an idiot for developing an emotional connection with someone...as if somehow we can control who we develop these connections with.

Perhaps maybe his wife is quite aware of the relationship, but the fear of loss/hurt is coming from realization that he fell in love with the woman?

Perhaps both the slave and the Master entered into a relationship in a mature way, even though if it didnt meet their full expectations, and things just developed differently then they wanted?

The real fools here are all the people making asasine assumptions from this limited information.

I wonder how many posters here have fallen for someone who wasnt exactly the best match for them.

To steal Stephann's Nietzsche quote, "There is madness in love, but some reason in madness."


Well, I kinda hoped I made it clear that the initial decision was both of their faults. However, he was asking what HE should do and that's what I answered to.

I don't know... maybe it read wrong.

Ultimately, SOMEONE is going to have to make a decision - either she can decide to stay under the circumstances they have or leave. Either he can decide to keep her and deal with the attending consequences or let her go. Either way, the decision is difficult.

Oh, and I don't think he's a cheating rat. Nor do I think she's a fool. I just think they have a difficult situation they need to figure out.

And waiting/hoping for a dominant to come along that will want her (not that she's unwantable, just that finding the "right" person is difficult at best) AND be able to accept the fact that he'd have to share is not exactly something that is going to happen over night - if indeed at all.


juliet



beargonewild -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 7:19:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Ok, from this bit of info, seems the issue is in the choice you made concerning this slave. How I see it, you made an improper choice to based upon your wants/needs which differred to her wants/meeds. The issue with your wife is a completely different isssue. Both you and the slave will have to be open and totally honest with each other to determine if this Master/slave relationship will thrive or end.



SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Next step? (7/3/2007 7:25:36 AM)

sucks to be you today........good luck



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