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Voltare -> RE: Back! (6/14/2004 10:38:39 PM)
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Actually, at the moment I am home (grins.) I've moved three times since I arrived in Santiago, though I hope to stay here long term.
Will take the long story and make it a bit short. About four months ago, I met a submissive woman online from another forum, who wished to explore being a full time slave. I had known of her for about a year online, but never actually spoken to her. We clicked immediately but both acknowleged that real time and online interaction were two very different ball games. She had been living here in Santiago for the past five years, hence the relocation.
I managed to find work as an english teacher prior to arranging to come here, and the plane ticket was initially planned to have a two month return date in case things didn't work out. To be plain, there was no expectation of committment either before, or after my arrival, as we wished for the relationship to progress naturally.
When I arrived, we had planned to stay together in the same apartment for the duration of my stay. It took all of about one month to realize that in real time, no matter how compatible we seemed online, we simply were not suited for each others needs. A good portion of her desires were fantasy that she had experianced from online, but she found that she had little or no interest in applying those fantasies in her real time. By contrast, the desires I had expressed were that down the line (gradually of course) we would be in a more 'formalized' style of Master/slave relationship. Combined with the strong difference in expectations and the enormous financial stress involved with any relocation, the relationship did not work out. It ended quite badly in fact, and we are no longer on speaking terms. Having said that, I found that I love the work I am doing, now have a great place to live, and am quite content here for the time being. I don't know that I plan to remain here long term, but for the time I am here, I certainly am enjoying life.
For the past three months, my internet access has been quite limited - and as a result, I've found many other productive things to do with my time - and realized just how much time I had spent 'wasted' on a computer. That isn't to say there is no value in being online - obviously I believe there is or I would not be typing this. Rather, I found that the more time I spent online, the more 'distorted' my vision of the 'real' world became. By going out, socializing, and struggling to understand the new culture I am in, I found a good deal more balance then I have had in a long time.
This isn't exactly a long drawn out adventure log, though certainly there is a good deal more to discuss if anyone cares to ask about it. I don't wish to paint the other woman in poor light, nor do I wish to assign blame, save for -if- I were ever to relocate long distance for a woman again, I would do it completely independently from her, i.e. my own apartment, job, etc: which many of you already likely know is quite a task. In short, I think especially for a Ds relationship, if the Dominant is forced to 'depend' on the submissive for anything, early on in the relationship, the relationship becomes slightly tainted. This isnt to say it is impossible under the right circumstances, but rather my own experiences.
In the end, I made the righ choices, for possibly the wrong reasons, and aside from it being winter down here (I hate cold) I'm quite happy for the time being. As for my final tidbit of advice: If you are looking for 'someone' online, try to do it within your area code. More then a few hours by any transportation means is just wayyyy too far. Too many variables exist, especially when it really is easy to find someone locally who meets you needs. Seeing someone on a computer as perfect is easy, because you don't have to smell their smoke breath, listen to them pee, or clean up their dirty underwear on the computer (unless you really want to maybe?)
Questions? Thoughts? Feel free to respond
Stephan
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