Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion

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Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/3/2007 10:44:12 PM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
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Figured i'd start a thread for once, finally. And this is something i really can't understand, and was hoping my friends here might be able to offer insight. ^_^

Okay, if anyone's paid attention to me, i don't know why you would, but i have a very....reticent sex drive, i guess you'd call it. It's not that i have no sex drive, but, it's not important to me, at all. If i never had sex again, i don't think i'd be -that- disappointed (which is good, because i'm sure that's where my life is headed =P). It's possibly because i see it as a vehicle to make my partner of the moment happy. That, and if people touch me, i want to tear into their throat and rip it out. But that's not what i'm asking.

What's puzzling me is why people get angry at me for being like this. And yes, i mean angry, they are genuinely upset with me. Why does this matter to people not interested in me? And especially why have i noticed this with straight men? The logic i use would think instinct tells them "one less competitor in the gene pool".

Any insight into this? i don't have the proper frame of mind to analyze it so i admit, i am ignorant on this issue.

Thanks in advance ^_^ Ja ne *waves*

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RE: Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/4/2007 3:25:40 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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Wowee! I just read your profile. Its truly exceptional for someone your age I must say, although it does come across as rather angry and maybe a little unfriendly, its honest and I truly believe that whats there is you, and thats a remarkable achievement.

As for explanations of others' reactions - I dont know, but what I do remember from being your age is that I was very similar to you in more ways than not and whilst I didnt experience anger from peers so much, I certainly was regarded as gay, because I was intellectual, could string a sentence together with words of two or more syllables, had a fascination with sci-fi/fantasy and spent time doing battle reenactments - when the model for manhood was to grunt a lot, drink a lot of beer, swear, fart and burp, watch endless sports on TV, drive the fastest car, fight anyone and everyone for real and for any reason or none - you get the picture. Even though I had a girlfriend (later my wife), I was "gay", I "had AIDS" etc etc and was treated like a leper. As for the sex drive thing, well I'll admit I didnt have your situation at your age, but I did not long after, by my mid twenties.

Could it be that youre receiving the same reaction I wonder? That by not conforming to "super stud" youre perceived as being gay? That would certainly explain the reactions of straight men - because however much acceptance there is, its still an issue and especially amongst younger guys who feel their super stud status under threat from the merest possible acquaintance with homosexual men. There's also the huge misunderstanding, brought about by straight men's inner conviction that they are God's gift, that every gay male will find them irresistible, which is another threat to them.

I'd best explain all that? I'm TS! Not that I'd say that you were too by the way because of the commonalities though! Equally I'm not saying you are or might be gay either. I certainly wasnt.

One thing that you might want to look into though is your hormonal balance and overall health. You might be perfectly happy and comfortable as you are, but people really underestimate how much of how they are and feel is down to hormones and health and you might find that there is more going on with you than simply personality, and it could be something serious. But if there's nothing found, and youre happy as you are then dont get talked into treatment either.

E

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RE: Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/4/2007 3:45:12 AM

SubinMaine

Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
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i have to completely agree with Lady E's assessment, it was the first thing that hit me when i read your post and your profile.

Mind you, i'm not saying i agree with the way you're perceived or treated by the male population, just that this is what first popped into my fuzzy not-enough-coffee-brain.

i wish you luck, don't let them knock you down *smile*

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RE: Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/4/2007 6:13:37 AM

Eldritchdancer

Posts: 101
Joined: 12/26/2006
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I understand where the OP is coming from. I have a deliberately low sex drive. It is unimportant to me. I was VERY promiscuous as a boy, so I just tell people I burned it out. Like drive 100 mph in 1st gear will do to a transmission.

And I get flak from women about it. Mostly because I don't just roll over and sniff after them like they were bitches in heat.

The only advice I can give is: People will be stupid for any number of known or unknown reasons. Don't let -their- idiocy be painful to -you-. :) Accept it as a statistical fluke and continue to explore the rest of humanities foibles.

Master Darkmoon

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RE: Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/4/2007 6:35:35 AM

MsFirerose

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/20/2006
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We can never control those around us. Some people are stupid, narrow minded and react in manners as you stated because they are fearful of themselves and the possibilities of what lies inside of them.

That said, there were two things that I picked up that did concern me. First, if I were you I would get a physical and talk to the doctor regarding your hormone levels. Women do it all the time because we are talking to doctors about being on the pill, having kids or menopause. This is something most males don't even think about. I have experienced low sex drive while being on the pill and since my hysterectomy, with hormone replacement therapy. It was an easy "fix' with a change in the hormone structure I received. And guess what, I needed more testosterone(when taking the pill and my HRT) to get my sex drive back. This is very unusual for a woman. No surprise that I'm a domme, lol.

The second thing is, that you react strongly and negatively when people touch you. Again, this can be a physical manifestation, a hypersensitivity, and should be discussed with a physician. If there are no physical explanations, I suggest talking with a counselor to discover why you feel this way (if you don't already know). There may be a psychological reason why you don't want to allow someone else to touch you. Being touched by another person can give such joy and not be about sex.

I wish you the best on whatever course you choose including keeping things in the status quo.

Mistress Firerose

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RE: Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/4/2007 6:53:24 AM

instynctive

Posts: 2726
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Speaking as someone of the male pursuasion...

BlindUnknown, I read through your profile a couple times. While we wouldn't make an "immediate good match" just based on gender requirements, I could only dream of finding a male submissive like yourself. Personally, I think you should be applauded for standing up for yourself as you havwe and making it *very* clear what you are looking for. No, you are no doormat, and you do understand the D/s relationship as I do, as b does.. and as b's sister sub does.

I digress...

I wish you the absolute best of luck in your search.. your quest... Unfortunately, the geographic location you are at will bear very few potential candidates for you. When I lived there, the selection for any efllow kinksters was just so slim, but then again, online resources were still in the infant stages of proliferation.

If there is anything you ever need to talk about, I would invite you to contact either myself or SubinMaine. We are open to chatting with most anyone, especially those more local to us as you are, and are willing to share our own knowledge, experiences and can certainly provide a "safe place" for you to chat, without being judgmental or otherwise oppressive.

-J

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RE: Discrimination of the hormonal persuasion - 7/4/2007 7:10:02 PM

BlindUnknown

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2007
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First off thanks all for the insight, i've also accquired the theory "Because the need to reproduce is such a basic need at our age, the fact you don't flaunt it like everyone else might be concieved as some kind of blaspheme" from a friend, oh well, maybe i can study these further =P

Just pointing out, it's not so much it bothers me as fascinates, and i am such a child, i hate not knowing an answer to something i wanna know ^_^

i could look into the hormonal thing when i get to the doc next. As for Firerose's comment on psychological touching issue, yeah i have a good handle on why, my mother used me as a stress ball from about 2 years old on, and little encouragement or affection to counter balance it growing up. As i was pretty much locked up inside my house until i was 10, i don't really see what else it is since my formative years were long gone, and i havent had any "negative" experiences regarding physicality after said time (minus the not liking it).

But, just wanted to thank you all properly, appreciated, thanks ^_^ Ja ne

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Remember...the Dominant has power -in- the relationship, the sub has power -over- it.
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"If Light and Darkness are eternal, than surely Nothings must be the same!"

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