another day another thought

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najla12 -> another day another thought (7/4/2007 5:58:02 AM)
if a slave/sub enjoys extreme pain, can/is phyical punishment effective?

becca333 -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 5:59:19 AM)
Possibly not. Maybe withholding it would work better.

MissHarlet -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:01:47 AM)
I do not believe that you can punish someone by giving them something they enjoy!! If I need to punish for something, I make SURE it is NOT enjoyable in any way. Just my opinion and how I do things.

Level -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:05:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: najla12 if a slave/sub enjoys extreme pain, can/is phyical punishment effective? Might be best to find a partner that doesn't need "punishment".

bandit25 -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:09:37 AM)
I think Level is right. It all goes back to "Are you sure you want this (D/s)" question. If you constantly have to punish, it seems to me that there's something wrong with the dynamic. Perhaps, expectations haven't been understood or laid out all that well. Or, perhaps, you or s/he has changed and it's time for another talk. For example, as the relationship grows and moves on, the dominant partner may think that his sub should have no limits. S/he may not feel that way. He's punishing her for not obeying while she is simply sticking to whatever they talked about in the beginning...see?

starDF -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:14:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: najla12 if a slave/sub enjoys extreme pain, can/is phyical punishment effective? Yes, Yes, yes yes yes.... I enjoy pain, extreme and not. There are times i still get a physical punishment. Master has one implement that is reserved stictly for punishment. It's all in the mindset - i am being punished, which means i screwed up, i don't feel good about that in the least and neither does he. I do not get aroused when being punished. It comes down to asking if those who enjoy extreme pain also enjoy having their fingers slammed in a door at work. Most that i know would say they don't enjoy that. It's part of the mindset at the time. just my 2 cents Darkness Fallens star

Level -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:15:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 I think Level is right. And, if more people wrote that, thought that, really dwelled upon it, and accepted it, how nice would the world be? [:-]

salilus -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:30:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: starDF quote: ORIGINAL: najla12 if a slave/sub enjoys extreme pain, can/is phyical punishment effective? Yes, Yes, yes yes yes.... I enjoy pain, extreme and not. There are times i still get a physical punishment. Master has one implement that is reserved stictly for punishment. It's all in the mindset - i am being punished, which means i screwed up, i don't feel good about that in the least and neither does he. I do not get aroused when being punished. It comes down to asking if those who enjoy extreme pain also enjoy having their fingers slammed in a door at work. Most that i know would say they don't enjoy that. It's part of the mindset at the time. just my 2 cents Darkness Fallens star I fully agree with this.

crouchingtigress -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 6:30:54 AM)
yeah level is right, lol. and so is bandit....and so is star when she talks about "mindset" you can take the pain sluttiest pain slut and have her or him writhing in pain, but if a chain is kinked and pinching their arm pit, you'll hear about it, its all about the kind of pain and the mindset of both the giver and receiver.

thetammyjo -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:17:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: najla12 if a slave/sub enjoys extreme pain, can/is phyical punishment effective? Frankly I'm more concerned about me. If I enjoy causing pain I don't want to spoil that by using it for punishment. When I have to punish it is a let down for me as much as for the sub or slave. I don't want that negativity to even touch the SM I do.

Level -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:21:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress yeah level is right, lol. You shouldn't have, amy [:)]

windchymes -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:25:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 I think Level is right. And, if more people wrote that, thought that, really dwelled upon it, and accepted it, how nice would the world be? [:-] You wish!!! LMAO! [:D]

bandit25 -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:27:50 AM)
Is Nirvana too strong of a word?

Trampler -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:29:18 AM)
And plus I think by giving them something they want, you are saying it is okay to keep doing that, ie: mouthing off or something like that.

lighthearted -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:32:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 I think Level is right. And, if more people wrote that, thought that, really dwelled upon it, and accepted it, how nice would the world be? [:-] oh, honestly!

GhitaAmati -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:33:44 AM)
Personally, Im against using physical pain as punishment, even if the sub isnt a plain slut, but to talk from the other side, yes I have had physical pain used on me as punishment and trust me I knew it was punishment and didnt enjoy it one bit because I knew that He was doing it because he was dissapointed in me and was correcting me. Level, I agree in that if you are "constantly" punishing, something else is wrong in the relationship, but I think any relationship is going to have bumps at some point. The best trained sub in the world could forget something someday, and need to be reminded of her protocols and her place. Just because we know what to do, if we dont continuosly practice is, somethings slip our minds... I am a self proclaimed pain slut, in fact, in my current relationship, that is our entire dynamic, we scene, He is a Top, Im a bottom, no other D/s dynamic in place whatsoever. When we arent playing, we have an equal marriage. I know that if I was in a position to be with my former Sir, even though I know all the rules he expects of me, I would be struggling like heck to actually do them, its been years. And if I made a mistake, I would expect to be corrected. Even though I enjoy pain, a sharp smack to the hand would be all it would take to remind me that I did something wrong and I would be devastated. Its all in where our mind is when it happens. (and Level, if the entire world thought like you did, youd never be able to get your perfect partner because the rest of the world would have gotten to them first)

instynctive -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:42:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: najla12 if a slave/sub enjoys extreme pain, can/is phyical punishment effective? Not in my eyes.. I would/might give them a taste of physical punishment, but most likely switch tactics in mid-stride and explore other options, such as denial or sensory deprivation. Perhaps a little cage time while being subjected to "Kenny G's Greatest Hits". Perhaps overall refusal to play. There are boundless options for the creative sadistic mind...

GhitaAmati -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:49:48 AM)
quote: Perhaps a little cage time while being subjected to "Kenny G's Greatest Hits". I sooooo want to be punished by Instynctive

Driver1961 -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:54:17 AM)
He dips His lid: Punishment for what purpose? in what context? Punishment for a sub's disobedience is not for their enjoyment! The punishment is to make the other think about the consequences of their behaviour or lack thereof. Giving them pleasure can induce sub-space how is that punishment and where is the reflection? I have a 'Naughty Mat' It is a mat that my Wild purchased that is red and black with the words 'naughty Mat' printed thereon. (Obviously made for naughty unmentionables) I have only used this once and with devastating effect. My instruction for Wild to lay it out- immediately began reflection. A pain slut can be given pain as reflection however its context must not be as 'normal play'. I personally would not give any physical pain as consequence- it is too close to the dynamic you share and could create problems within the dynamic. The mindfuck of the D being in control by planning a 'punishment' environment (on a naughty mat or in a naughty corner) and expressing extreme disappointment in the sub's actions allows for solid reflection without damaging the Dynamic. 15 minutes of reflection in this environment concluding with an apology and strategy from the sub on how to avoid a re-occurence will enhance your dynamic. Should the sub be then overcome with confusion to think clearly enough in their reflection- then back off the pressure by having them 'pack away' the punishment environment, relax themselves and write an essay on why their actions were wrong and their suggestions on strategies to negate this ever occuring again. I will never again inflict physical pain upon a pain slut as it can totally jeopardise the Dynamic and create problems that can otherwise be totally avoided. When punishing, One promotes another's personal growth with an awareness of consequence and enables strategies to avoid re-occurence otherwise One is simply an inept Master unmerciously beating a dumb dog. Which begs the question of who is really the dumber? (My dollar's worth that many may disagree with) Driver1961

earthycouple -> RE: another day another thought (7/4/2007 7:55:20 AM)
I would prefer my partners to be adult, self analyzing and intelligent enough not to need punishment. If I do feel it necessary then I would not punish a masochist by beating him. I know the worst punishment I can dole out to Robert isn't one third as bad as what he can do to himself internally if he screws up and I know that...it's just the way I like it. He never means to do something that makes me get "that look" and beats himself up over it if I do.

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