Emotional overload for a new slave

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Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 8:31:42 AM

laineyjade

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
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Hi all, I'm a new slave and I've been with my new master for just about a month now. I've been on the most incredible roller coaster of emotions, up down spinning round and round, thinking I'm in heaven, hollering that I can't take it, knowing for 100% sure that I'm in this collar for life and next moment terrified that I've said or done the wrong thing and will be released.

I'm putting it out there for others first time experiences as RL slaves, was it a zany turning inside-out with everything exposed for the first time? or was it a comfortable or different fitting in experience?

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 8:39:46 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

Not coming at this from the sub/slave perspective, but as just another human being who left the vanilla world (at one point in time) for 'this' one.

I can't speak for whether your experiences have been mostly positive or not, but you don't seem ready to back down yet.

I think this is why those who 'get' this Lifestyle say that they would never go back to vanilla. Would you rather be on the roller coaster, or driving the antique cars? Would you rather have a vibrant, if sometimes erratic pulse, or would you rather be flat-lined?

I would say that for a newbie, if their experiences didn't have similar intensity, they didn't get to see the best and brightest 'what we do' has to offer.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to laineyjade)

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 8:44:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Well whenever you embark on something so new, it's likely going to be a lot of swings and turns and confusion. This is part of why I always advise people to wait 6 months BEFORE making a commitment so they can go through those things without the complications of relationships or making bad judgements.

What you're going through seems normal enough, but it is a concern that you are so easily afraid of being released, and so often scared. Those aren't signs of a solid healthy growing relationship.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 9:14:46 AM

laineyjade

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
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by the way the fears are all in my mind and irrational, he's never done anything but reassure me .... oh and I'm 2 months pregnant lol... I should have probably added that.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 12:58:51 PM

k8trix

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/26/2006
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I fully expect it to be a very emotional situation the first time I get to serve in the flesh. I've come close, but haven't gotten there yet, and I've already experienced a great deal of emotion, so I can only imagine that actually being in service will bring out a flood of emotion in me.

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katie~
“Without mysteries, life would be very dull indeed. What would be left to strive for if everything were known?”

Charles de Lint

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 1:06:40 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Yup the pregnancy could have a lot to do with it... You said you have only been with your Master a month but that could mean you have only been collared to him for a month if not then is the baby your Master's baby?? if it isnt that would also explain some of the insecurities your feeling.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to k8trix)

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 3:42:10 PM

farieanne

Posts: 65
Joined: 2/24/2007
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

my Master is my first RL Dom. i had a perviouse relationship and we tried, or rather played, a bit with a D/s relationship but he really wasn't much of a Dom. i was more Domme than he was. Anyway, my Master i am owned by now it really my first RL Dom. We have been together 2 years 7months now. The first year and a half was a long disant relationship. A year ago i moved with my Master. It has been smooth sailing the whole time. Everything just kinda fell into place. So far so good.

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"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favourite form of self-indulgence.” - William Somerset Maugham

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/5/2007 5:53:19 PM

salilus

Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
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I fought for control for quite a while before I started easy into a better headspace about being my owner's property... it was not simple or easy, but the good always outweighed the bad, if that makes sense.

(in reply to laineyjade)

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RE: Emotional overload for a new slave - 7/6/2007 9:09:51 AM

laineyjade

Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
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thanks for your replies, I see that there are some smooth and some very emotional starts to new relationships. I'm actually having a good time feeling sort of out of control of it all. Finally handing over the totality of who I am into his hands is both such a relief and so scary (thoughts of what if he finds out something that makes him hate me!). He laughs at me and says I'm like a little old woman sitting in a hut wringing her hands about what should happen if the roof fell in, when there's no cracks in the ceiling. I guess he's got a point, lol.

(in reply to salilus)

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Post #: 9