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? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 3:00:36 AM

nighthawk99200

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

just got to thinking and would like to know your thoughts ladys on something
i would like any of you to take a look at my profile and tell me if you see anything in the way i look got a feeling that most ladys look at me and judge me without giving me a chance so what better way then to ask you i dont care if you are a dom,sub,or slave i really just would like some insite on this from all you ladys ty alot and dont worry about my feelings i may need to hear what you have to say

Post #: 1

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 5:26:47 AM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nighthawk99200

just got to thinking and would like to know your thoughts ladys on something
i would like any of you to take a look at my profile and tell me if you see anything in the way i look got a feeling that most ladys look at me and judge me without giving me a chance so what better way then to ask you i dont care if you are a dom,sub,or slave i really just would like some insite on this from all you ladys ty alot and dont worry about my feelings i may need to hear what you have to say

May I suggest a better picture of yourself, the intense red does you no justice. May I also suggest you outline what you are doing to develop your skills as a Dom. Are you going to munches, workshops, do you have a mentor?

I would also suggest that your profile sounds needy, a bit too much emphasis on needing someone to love you and to love them in return. Read as many Dom ads as you can, you will notice many of them are pure BS, but some of them are beautifully written and very honest. Don't trash other Doms in your profile "I am not looking to down grade a lady like others do " and proofread your profile/journal before posting "new to this life dont mean i dont know what i want." Stick to one case, you have referred to yourself as I and i , that denotes carelessness. Try writing it out in MS Word and run the spell/language checker before posting it. Some mistakes will sneak by the spell checker, but if you proofread before posting, that should catch those.

This is not a flame, but is the constructive critisim you asked for.

_____________________________

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(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 2

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 5:51:12 AM

FuriousAngel

Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

I agree with LadyShoshin's suggestions.

On a personal note, I find many profiles sound redundant as so much focus is placed on D/s alone. A profile that talks about who they are in general, as a person (versus, a Dominant/submissive) seems to stand out to me. Interests, hobbies, etc. have prompted me to reach out and contact, even if only to make an inquiry about something they've written. (Made some great friends this way!)

On a further note, I also find myself more drawn to Dominants who once communicating, can talk about life in general, versus diving immediately into D/s question/answer period. I'm not belittling such communications between people as I understand everyone is different. Yet, I find it relaxing to just ... talk. When a Dominant immediately begins D/s discussions during the first few exchanges, I get so bored as it's all been repeated so many times over the years!

(in reply to LadyShoshin)

Post #: 3

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 6:50:16 AM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

Definetly get a better pic of yourself. And I agree with the spelling being correct before you submit something also, it makes you look a whole lot better if it looks like you have some spelling skills.
Not everything is about the lifestyle, so I also agree that you need to talk more about your life outside of D/s. I want someone I can talk to, not just be in his arms.

perfection

(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 4

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 7:00:18 AM

fourpeas

Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline

Get two or three different pictures of yourself, and definitely spelll and grammar check your profile. Don't give too much about yourself away. You don't need to tell all that information.... You sound like a very nice man. Meeting someone online is always hard because it's all about the way you represent yourself. So work on those two things, and also I agree, talk about your interests outside of the lifestyle.

good luck!

(in reply to perfection20005)

Post #: 5

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 9:33:11 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

The Very first thing I notice, and it is important, is that photo... It's terrible. Have someone take a few photos of you, and put up a better one; it doesn't need to be perfect, but it should be clearer, and even if you do hang out in Tshirts all the time, find your best Tshirt and jeans put it on than take pictures... That photo leaves a bad 1st impression..
Also agree with LadyShoshin and Fourpeas words, very good advice there.. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/16/2005 9:35:28 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 6

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 11:15:05 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

First thing, though it isn't about your profile. While I understand why you asked for only women to answer this post, I'll admit it gave me a really negative first impression. While I know that you asked for women because that's what you're interested in, to me it reads as someone who discounts the opinion of a large segment of the population because of gender. Like I said, I do understand why you asked who you did, but on these boards everyone has something useful to say, and male-type people can offer good feedback as well. So, the intro on the boards rather disposed me against you. (Again, this is just my off-the-cuff reaction.)

As to the profile.
I find that I am most attracted to profiles which talk about the person him/herself as opposed to just his/her desires in a partner. I would like your profile a lot if you talked about who you are. What drives you into BDSM? What do you like outside of it? WHat do you do?

I always want to know about the person him/herself, because then it's easier to judge compatability. I figure if you can get a handle on the person, you know whether or not you're going to be a fit with them.

Also, though this is personal preference, a profile in primarially black and white is SO much easier to read. Maybe put announcements in another color, but profile text in black and white is way simpler.

Good luck!

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 7

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 11:31:57 AM

fillepink

Posts: 124
Status: offline

i agree with all that's been said, but would add that it is not necessary or helpful to lead off with a weakness "I have only been in the lifestyle a year" or words to that effect. It confuses submissives and it shows You in a poor light. btw, Walmarts has a studio and will take Your picture, complete with floppy, for less than $15.00...and i think You should get a semi-professional shot. If a suit and tie doesn't feel right to You, I'd at least wear a very dressy polo shirt and khakis. It's extremely important not just to make Yourself look more attractive, but more pulled-together, and Doms are supposed to have self-control.

i wish You many blessings on Your search...You were quite brave to open Yourself up to criticism like this and that does show confidence. fillepink

Attachment (1)

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 8

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 9:39:38 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Why aren't i seeing a photo, did he take it off?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 9

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 9:42:23 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
Why aren't i seeing a photo, did he take it off?

Yes it seems he did... I like that he is taking the responses into consideration. He really needed a better picture of himself on there, and he seems like a nice guy.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 10

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/16/2005 11:17:08 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Yes it seems he did... I like that he is taking the responses into consideration. He really needed a better picture of himself on there, and he seems like a nice guy.. M

OK thanks, was worried CM wasn't letting me see it.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 11

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 12:57:07 AM

nighthawk99200

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline

sorry ladys was updating my pic ty all for the help still working on profile so it will change some from time to time

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 12

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 2:52:10 AM

Jennsen

Posts: 39
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

Hi nighthawk, glad to see you here! This is the best way to warm up and get to everyone!
Hang in there!

< Message edited by Jennsen -- 6/17/2005 2:07:45 PM >

_____________________________

"....and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music"

(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 13

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 11:00:03 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

Why wouldn't you want a man's reaction?
Especially other Dom's, who may be more
of a help in construction of a Dom's Personal
Ad? You could at least read some Dom Profiles
and get a feeling for good things to write and what
would make a good pic.

This just seems to me as somewhat of a maliputive
way of bringing attention to your PA on the other side.
Kind of Troll smelling to me.

*Brightspot

< Message edited by brightspot -- 6/17/2005 11:02:08 AM >

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 14

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 2:06:58 PM

Jennsen

Posts: 39
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot

Why wouldn't you want a man's reaction?
Especially other Dom's, who may be more
of a help in construction of a Dom's Personal
Ad? You could at least read some Dom Profiles
and get a feeling for good things to write and what
would make a good pic.

This just seems to me as somewhat of a maliputive
way of bringing attention to your PA on the other side.
Kind of Troll smelling to me.

*Brightspot

Brightspot, you have very good advice for nighthawk on asking a Dom or reading their profiles to get some better idea's on how to present himself...I wish I would have thought about that! But please dont go assuming he's being maliputive for asking advice here. In response to an email I received from him, I suggested that he should visit the message board and ask for idea's to help him get started...because everyone here is so nice and helpful!

Nighthawk, remember...to escape criticism-do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference to wisdom. And life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage

_____________________________

"....and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music"

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 15

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 2:25:32 PM

FuriousAngel

Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

It's interesting how differently people can perceive the exact same words online. The 'message' I picked up from his request for 'ladies only please' was that he was indicating he is straight, and therefore, held a desire for the view of women as that is obviously his 'target audience' so to speak.

I actually smiled when I saw the title of the thread, and I certainly didn't feel he was disregarding the input of Dominants. Personally, I commend anyone who makes efforts to improve themselves by seeking out the advice and even constructive criticism from others. Good for you nighthawk, and good luck with fine tuning your profile. Don't forget to have FUN doing it!

< Message edited by FuriousAngel -- 6/17/2005 2:26:33 PM >

(in reply to Jennsen)

Post #: 16

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 2:40:28 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

As a matter of fact, he said he was not averse to getting comments from dominants, he's just looking for the female perspective.

quote:

the way i look got a feeling that most ladys look at me and judge me without giving me a chance so what better way then to ask you i dont care if you are a dom,sub,or slave i really just would like some insite on this from all you ladys ty alot

I do agree though that some of the male dominants have excellent profiles, and it would behoove him to look at some of those.

(in reply to FuriousAngel)

Post #: 17

RE: ? for the ladys (ladys only please) - 6/17/2005 8:22:21 PM

Mandalin

Posts: 103
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nighthawk99200

just got to thinking and would like to know your thoughts ladys on something
i would like any of you to take a look at my profile and tell me if you see anything in the way i look got a feeling that most ladys look at me and judge me without giving me a chance so what better way then to ask you i dont care if you are a dom,sub,or slave i really just would like some insite on this from all you ladys ty alot and dont worry about my feelings i may need to hear what you have to say

Personally, If I were a guy with the same dilemmas and questions as nighthawk has, I wouldnt want to ask other men to take a look at my profile and ask for advice from them, not that they wouldnt give it. But No offence men, I love you all...but I've only seen a few that have caught my attention. And those few had nothing to do with pictures or interests...it was how they spoke their words, and what came across in them. And how they present themselves...friendly, charming or desperate and starving. Being a woman, I feel asking a woman what she would be most attracted by is the smartest thing nighthawk has done so far! Welcome nighthawk, and best wishes with your venture here!

_____________________________

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and let us play

(in reply to nighthawk99200)

Post #: 18

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