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TigerNINTails -> RE: Switches With 'Nilla Friends (7/13/2007 2:11:21 AM)
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I honestly, even when communicating with other kinksters in the scene publicly, never once had experienced any sort of stigma, or misunderstanding come up about my duality of nature. I also notice that people are quite a bit different online, than they are face to face.
The first time I ever heard anything about a stigma, and even experienced it, within my first little bit posting here on CM, was... Heheh, here on CM... In fact, it was in this section of the forum.
I tend to feel that the "stigma" is largely isolated, but then again, if people say they experience it in the real world, well, there ya go. But being a regular at Citadel in 'Frisco, I never once experienced the silliness about switches that I experienced here. Kinda makes you go "Hmmmmmm...[&:]" Especially when you consider that people were more accepting of you as a switch there, at least, that is what it seemed to me...
I mean, who are you going to trust... Someone that refuses to take a few to the assmeat, or someone that does on a regular basis, when it comes to tanning yours? Hmmm... Good question...
Most all of my friends knew I was kinky from the get-go, and most of them have seen my dominant interactions, though a couple have seen me go bottom-side up. *shrugs* They grasped it fine, in fact, with less judgementality than the so-called "all Dominant" or "all submissive" that you meet online. Sometimes they teased me about being "domestic"... Heheh... Well, ya can't win em all I guess.
I heard it said best by one Dominant that I know from Sacramento when we were having a conversation, that proved he understood where I was coming from, at one play party... He said: "I understand... Just because you bottom doesn't make you a submissive... Sometimes you just gotta get beat..." [:D]
I just had to nod. There wasn't anything left to say at that point, except grin and nod. It was so simple, so right on, for me at least. I'm not a submissive, but I assume a slave or bottom role when it suits me, and with the right person(s) that suit me. Well, obviously when I suit them as well. And none of my 'nilla friends or scene friends have ever had an issue understanding that.
I've also never had an issue explaining it to them either. But then again, I guess my circle of friends in and of themselves really don't make up the majority vote in the vanilla or bdsm pie, when it comes down to who they are.
They're all as strange as I am, in some ways. A world full of fetish-freaks.
In any case, in my experience two sides are better than one anyway. [:D] Without it, I'd be half a man... LOL.
Peace.
TNT
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