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What's it called? - 6/16/2005 1:34:01 PM

KarbonCopy

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I'm not entirely sure if this has been brought up before, but I'm just looking to get an answer to a question.

There has been alot of talk lately about the nature of being forced to do something. Alot of the subs on this site, claim that they like to be forced into things like, forced feminization for example, but then turn around to say that they're not really forced, and are willing.

What if as a slave you say you are willing to do whatever your told. Even things you dont want to do.
What if a slave is beaten harder than they would ever like? but since they gave up all say they just endure it.

What is it called, when a slave truely wants to be forced into something they dont want to do? Wants to have their limits completely ignored and abused.

Or am I just nutz?

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RE: What's it called? - 6/16/2005 2:00:31 PM

stjosub67

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There is a difference between not wanting and not willing to do something. For a lame example, You may not want to go to a certain movie, but are willing to go to the movie to please another person. On the otherhand, you are not willing to go to a Pauley Shore movie no matter what.

With hard limits discussed and agreed to and trust in both parties, the Dom/Domme would respect them and abuse should not be an issue. To make me do something I do not want to do gives special pleasure to the mistress then that is where my pleasure comes from. Not the specific act.

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RE: What's it called? - 6/16/2005 2:26:23 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

I'm not entirely sure if this has been brought up before, but I'm just looking to get an answer to a question.

There has been alot of talk lately about the nature of being forced to do something. Alot of the subs on this site, claim that they like to be forced into things like, forced feminization for example, but then turn around to say that they're not really forced, and are willing.

What if as a slave you say you are willing to do whatever your told. Even things you dont want to do.
What if a slave is beaten harder than they would ever like? but since they gave up all say they just endure it.

What is it called, when a slave truely wants to be forced into something they dont want to do? Wants to have their limits completely ignored and abused.

Or am I just nutz?

It's called a fantasy.

Ideas like this make great fantasies, but aren't very good realities. If you really take this apart and think about it, what this situation does is put the dominant in an awful position. If a sub blatantly wants their limits ignored -- really, truly ignored -- the dominant is taking a risk if they act on it. How is the dominant to know that the sub will handle it? Sure, in their mind, the submissive might think it's *hot* to be forced into something. Chances are, it is something extreme. So if the dominant does it, and the submissive suffers serious emotional problems as a result, the relationship will be damaged -- hugely, on both sides.

An ethical dominant will approach this in a few ways. First, take into consideration the experience and maturity of the submissive, and how well that submissive knows themselves. Is this a new sub with eyes bigger than his stomach, as they say? Do they have experience having other limits "ignored" -- and what happened as a result?

Does the sub have some "ideas" about what this "limit" is that must be smashed? Often a sub can eroticize the idea of being "forced" to do something, but in their mind, they are still controlling the action. Their fantasy is in their control. The act is in their control.

I think it requires two people that have an extremely close relationship and deep understanding of each other. And, they have to understand what is the motivation. Even then, the risks are huge.

Akasha

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RE: What's it called? - 6/16/2005 3:09:03 PM

KarbonCopy

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wow, that makes a ton of sense, thank you both of you.

I think its more of a case of eroticizing the idea, and having eyes too big for the stomache.

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RE: What's it called? - 6/16/2005 3:28:10 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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This is a very good question, and has been skirted around and alluded to in other threads.
I recently wrote a long article at another group when the comment arose of "bah. humbug, there is no such thing as forced". This was a boy who was bi-sexual and his Mistress/Wife permittted him to engage in sexual activity with attractive males of his choosing. But he also performed with males he did not find attractive, when she expressly commanded that he do so. I pointed out that this example could be considered "forced".
"Forced" is used to indicate any activity which is not a hard limit but is an activity that will be endured by a submissive or slave for the pleasure of the Master or Mistress. Anything can be forced, from bondage to housecleaning. W/we just have a habit of assigning this term to bisexuality and feminization.
The biggest thing to consider is whether or not something is an absolute hard limit for yourself. If it is an activity that is of no interest to the Dominant, then there should not be a problem having that limit respected on both sides. Remember, We have limits, also, and I can't tell you how many times I have had boys approach Me begging and pleading for kink I do not do!
If you have hard limits in any area, do not approach a Dominant that specifically states these limits of yours are an important part of their lifestyle. By the same token, a Dominant should not approach a submissive with the notion that just because they are the Dominant, they can convince the submissive that he should, or is required to, engage in any activity the Dominant chooses.
Mutual limits may be very important, especially when and if you are not part of a poly household.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/16/2005 3:30:06 PM >

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