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LadyAngelika -> RE: Solving the "How to find..." Issue (8/1/2004 6:10:00 PM)
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I’m going to address the comments of three messages in one here.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leonidas
Any woman who posts an attractive picture, or description of herself on this site will be overrun with mail just about instantly. 90% will be from the aforementioned group. Unfortunately for you, some of these men are very very good at saying the "right" thing in an e-mail message. It's just damn neigh impossible for a woman to pick you out from the crowd.
I’d like to think that I’m more clever then the sex seeking asses. And I know you weren’t implying that we women weren’t Leonidas; I’m just making a statement on the issue. I have been fooled once or twice and I’m not saying I’ll never be fooled again but I’m saying that I can pick out the good ones from the bad ones in most cases. It’s the risk of being out there and looking. The other alternative is stay home alone with my cat and be miserable.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leonidas
Your only edge on these guys is your sincerity. They lurk, and pounce. You won't see them on the message boards. Continue to participate here. Avoid doing what you are doing on this thread (complaining that you can't find anyone) focus instead of real lifestyle issues. Demonstrate that you aren't "one of them". Maybe a woman who also isn't looking for "one of them" will take notice.
I think you are right that anthrosub and several other male subs on this thread’s sincerity shines through in their words. I don’t see anthrosub as complaining, but rather as he says, making a declarative statement. He is sharing his frustration which is very legitimate.
quote:
ORIGINAL: anthrosub
In any case, i think meeting in a non-lifestyle context is the direction i will need to take if i'm to find a partner before i die of old age.
This is a tough one anthrosub but perhaps it is a question of geographical location. In your profile you say the odds of finding someone local to you are small. I don’t believe you live in a major urban center neither. I might be wrong. But in any case, you probably are going to find more activity in cities such as New York, San Francisco, Seattle, LA, Montreal, Toronto, London, etc. If I may draw a parallel, in the Queer community, there is a trend for young gays to migrate towards large urban centers in order to be able to live in a certain amount of anonymity all the while participating in a community. Most of the aforementioned cities also have a gay village.
I know in Montreal, though there is a little bit of a lull at the moment, there are many BDSM related activity and that you’d have much more a choice. I know that in my case, I’m more likely to get involved with someone that I can meet face to face relatively early on. I like to see how the physical energy works before I get attached. Others can handle a bit more distance. I do know that a male sub probably has more options in a city like this then in a smaller city or town. Then again, if it’s going to happen, it will happen in your own back yard. If relocation is not an option, you also have the option of taking vacations to these larger centers around the same times of events if your situation permits it.
quote:
ORIGINAL: afmvdp
Anthro, I gotta be honest here though also and say that in your profile you are begging and pleading for attention. Perhaps there are indeed female dommes or dominas who are desiring someone who is already quite broken...but as a whole if there is no pleasure to be gained what would be in it for them? To me I read through it and see an unhealthy attatchment and someone who is likely to turn window peering stalker after a single session. I am not saying this to be derogatory or to actually imply this is the case, just letting you know the vibes you are sending. People want to know what you can bring to the table and what you can offer them. I think way too many submissives these days come off as possessive, needy, demaning parasites and that just isn't attractive to anyone. Stand up straight even if your intention is to kneel shortly after.
I have to disagree with you on this one afmvdp. I look at anthrosub’s profile and I find it refreshing from the ones that tell me how much they want to serve and be humiliated and be spanked and be spat on and how much they are whores.
I understand from reading some of your posts afmvdp that you have a preference for those who need training. It is a legitimate desire; I'm in no way trying to say otherwise. Though training someone from scratch has its pleasure, meeting someone who has taken a lot of time into thinking of what he wants and can communicate this to me has it’s value as well. And perhaps for the long haul, I would find some security in knowing this wasn’t someone who was trying to live out his fantasy without being 100% convinced he was ready to engage himself into such a relationship. I've been down that road once or twice...
- LA
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