Fear

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CalliopePurple -> Fear (6/16/2005 7:54:09 PM)
Meh, I should probably post this in my LJ and not here, but I think the regulars here could give me some good advice about dealing with it. I am absolutely terrified of getting lost. I lived in the same town for seven years once and could only say the route between home and school with absolute certainty. But yet, I have no trouble traveling halfway across the country by bus to meet someone because I know the person will be there when I arrive. This is a problem now because I've recently moved and I need to look for a job. My roommates work and can't show me to places that might be hiring. When one of them told me to go walking around tomorrow on my own, I nearly had a panic attack. He knows my fear because he's pushed too hard once before. That time, I did totally freak out. Aside from the obvious "face your fear" type advice (even thinking about it makes me stiffen up and wanna cry), anyone got anything they could say?

Isolde -> RE: Fear (6/16/2005 8:08:52 PM)
Is your fear about getting lost or is it more about venturing into unfamiliar territory alone? If you are more afraid of getting lost, become a MapQuest addict (http://www.mapquest.com/). Never leave the house without first arming yourself with a printout or handwritten map of exactly where you need to go. Check and doublecheck addresses in a phonebook or online and then run them through MapQuest and then you should be all right. I have a similar fear but I've found that by preparing myself as much as possible beforehand, it minimized my anxiety. It didn't make it go away entirely but it did help...and if I did end up lost, I could just show someone my pre-printed map and I'd generally be pointed in the right direction. This was essential in a former job where I had to drive every day to a new address, all over the state. If you're more afraid of exploring new places on your own...I'm not sure what you could do to help that. Maybe a combination of serious map preparation beforehand and then venture out with an escort a few times before braving it on your own, map in hand? Familiarity might be the key there. Slowly turn each new route into a familiar one.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Fear (6/16/2005 8:40:06 PM)
Maps, and understanding that getting lost is not the end of the world... Simply have enough gas/cab fare, and take extra time to get to where you need to go... Your fear sounds more like that of unfamiliar places though; can't help you with that beyond just doing it... I have a bit of that myself, and have to psych myself up/out to go do what I want/need to do sometimes.. M

Jennsen -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 3:27:59 AM)
Hey Calliope, your not alone, I'm the same way! I've come to the conclusion that when ever and where ever I venture to...I'm going to get lost. I recently had to go to a huge cabinet factory to pick up sawdust for my sheep...and got lost in their maze of a parking lot..that was a little embarrassing to explain though! I usually leave earlier than normal, and being a moman...I always stop and ask for directions! LOL!

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 5:06:58 AM)
I've spent so much of my life lost that I now have a great sense of direction! I had one incident where one of my kids was driving and I wasn't paying attention because we had gone this way so many times..... only to realize an hour later that we were going south instead of east... Time to stop and buy a map. Like you, my daughter (the one driving) paniced. I told her we weren't lost, we were having an adventure. We've had many "adventures" since then and found some amazing places by accident and seen some beautiful sights. Stop seeing it as lost, as long as you know your address you can always get home, whether it be by cab or by asking a police officer to help you, but in the mean time you get the chance to find those great places and see those wonderful things. Jewel

stormsfate -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 6:05:34 AM)
I think it helps to have the place you need to go in mind, so you can plan it and "know" where you are going. Perhaps set up an appointment with an employment agency and then set about planning your trip there, or start with the grocery store or something closer to where you actually reside. Wandering about aimlessly will probably make the fear worse than having a set goal. I can empathize with you a bit. I'll never forget when my owner brought me to live with him and I started working for a law firm on Wall Street. It was definately a bit intimidating in trying to learn my way around. One place at a time, and you will soon find yourself confident in your abilities. Good luck with it! best regards, fate *Edited to add...also ask yourself what is the worst that will happen if you get lost? You can ask someone for directions :)

MsSilvie -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 6:22:07 AM)
Hi Calliope, That's got to be hard to deal with at times. Do you know what you have such a fear from getting lost? Anything you can do to address it deep down? Maps are great if you can visualize what all the little lines mean. [:D] I would study the main streets in your area, that way you can find your way around on those, and you know any small streets eventually have to take you back on one of the main ones. For jobs, a lot of places post positions on the internet, and take applications via e-mail. It's at least worth looking at when you are considering places to apply to. Good luck to you in your job hunt!

happypervert -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 6:42:37 AM)
along with maps, get a GPS unit. Even if you get lost, you'll know where you are and then you can figure out how to get "unlost".

CalliopePurple -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 10:26:50 AM)
Thanks, everyone. I'm gonna ask my roommates if they have a map of the town because I'm a little more comfortable when I have one (and I'm good at reading them, unlike a lot of people out there) Found a place online to look for jobs and I posted all the relavent information there. My fear really is being lost, not going to unfamiliar places, and I have no clue why. At least I'm feeling a little better about the thought of it now, as opposed to last night, when an online friend kept asking questions and offering "suggestions" to the point where I nearly panicked again.

brightspot -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 11:20:18 AM)
I like what Isolde had to say. Go to MapQuest.com and make maps and carry them with you. You can make a map of the larger area and then zoom in to actually read the names on each street. Good Luck in your navagating and job hunting! *Brightspot

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 11:41:15 AM)
Getting lost is one of my two major fears as well. Geography is one of the few things I have no aptitude for. For me it really was being forced into situations where I HAD to take risks like that which helped me. Going to a new campus, I HAD to learn where my classes were, where the dining hall was, etc. When I lived in Ireland, I HAD to find where the local stores were, where the school was, etc. Scary times sometimes, and yes I spent a lot of time making wrong turns. But you do it and deal. Walk yourself around your town. Start small and then widen your circle. When you can, have friends take you places and describe directions to you. Examine the map for a long time BEFORE you leave the house. That way you know the names of the streets and supposedly where they go. Make a destination point and then call someone when you get there, that way, they will "be there" when you get there and you have a set goal in mind.

CalliopePurple -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 9:42:07 PM)
I have a map now ^_^. Tomorrow, I think I'm gonna take it and go walking for a bit, see what I can see. Kinda weird that a piece of paper gives me so much security...maybe it's because I actually know how to read them. Girl Scouts actually paid off for something. Well, aside from teaching me what kind of people I really didn't want as friends. I might have other fears - spiders, small spaces, flying, having my hands injured - but being lost is the absolute worst of the bunch,

siamsa24 -> RE: Fear (6/17/2005 10:04:00 PM)
I hate being lost and it used to bring me to tears. I am from the middle of nowhere and I recently moved very close to a large city. I have to go around or through the city to get anywhere. It's all one way streets and strange turns that go in 6 different dirrections and it's across between 4 and 6 lanes of traffic. I still have trouble and get lost every few days. It used to make my partner very angry. He used to live in LA and had no trouble navigating there, he couldn't understand why I couldn't get from the house to the video store (about 3 miles away) without getting lost. Then he learned to accept the fact that I have no sense of direction [:D] What I do is get detailed directions and I call in advance to get landmarks (next door to the grocery store, across the street from the Dairy Queen, etc.) and that helps a lot. I can read a map, but I can't read a map while driving around here [:)]

CalliopePurple -> RE: Fear (6/18/2005 1:33:02 PM)
Me - drive? Now that's laughable. I don't drive. Or rather, I can't drive because I have poor depth perception. So I rely on my own two feet to get me everywhere.

siamsa24 -> RE: Fear (6/18/2005 9:04:16 PM)
Wow, you can't do that around here. If you can't drive then you take the bus. I have poor depth perception as well, but I have since I was very young and have learned to compensate and can drive quite well.

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