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SirLordTrainer -> Disciplining wives.. (6/17/2005 4:06:41 AM)
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Disciplining Wives..
In support of the recent Southern Baptist edict that
women should "submit to their husbands," we have
acquired an inventory of beginning B&D supplies for
the Baptist couple eager to explore the righteous ways
of wife Domination:
1) Starter kit: Leather masks with zippers and cat 'o
nine tails. The masks are clearly emblazoned with
Christian Fish symbols on the forehead area.
2) Nipple Clamps of the Holy Trinity: Three brass
nipple clamps held together with golden chains of
appropriate length, allowing the Masterful husband
many options in attaching the third "Holy Spirit"
clamp.
3) Mary Magdalene's Leather Pants: This "cheekless"
design allows full access to spanking surfaces when
the wife is in her proper penitent, kneeling position.
4) Wrath of God: a 12-foot bullwhip of black cowhide
on a Communion chalice handle for putting the fear of
God into wives who have strayed (e.g. thinking for
themselves or having an opinion with no regard for the
damage this causes the family).
5) The Rack of St. Stephen: Sturdy construction with
heavy, fur-lined wrist and ankle restraints. Can be
spun upside down for the St. Paul variant.
6) The Archangel: Large punishment phallus of
sufficient diameter and length to make any wayward
wife: "Righteous"
7) The Judas Wand: A handsome vibrator that works
well for five minutes then shuts down automatically,
leaving the wife more dependent than ever on her
Master.
8) Riding Crop of the Pharacies: Teach your
wife the ways of the Lord with this sturdy handcrafted
riding crop.
9) Anointment: a thick, non-toxic balm
scented with myrrh and frankincense. Perfect for
easing the pain of heavily welted skin or allowing the
Master easier penetration when teaching a lesson
regarding the ways of Sodom.
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