Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What is Home to you?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What is Home to you? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/8/2007 8:18:46 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Home is my place of respite; where I can live being true to myself. 

The very first time I looked into my Master's eyes, the very first thought that came into my head was, "I am home."  And we were in a hotel. 

Things are just things, no matter how precious they seem.  Love, laughter, peace and inner truth make a home.  "Things" are secondary to that, and eventually, no matter where one lives or with whom, the house gradually accumulates with items purchased along the way, to reflect the personalities of all of its occupants.

"Home" stems from the heart.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/8/2007 8:39:38 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
The very first time I looked into my Master's eyes, the very first thought that came into my head was, "I am home."  And we were in a hotel

Beautifully said, owndedgirlie.  Same exact story here!  One of our favorite songs is by Kris Kristofferson - "When I Loved Her."  In it he says: "It felt like comin' home when I found her."  Master and I have listened to and discussed that line/song many, many times.  Isn't it blissful to be at "home" just by being in your Master's presence?  .......... luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 12:30:35 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		Having lived alone for many years, home is where my things are, the place I come back to, the place where everything is exactly as I placed it before I left.  Where I rest.  Rejuvenate.  Hang out.  It is all about me.  When I lived with another it was different.   But after 15 years basically living alone it is what it is.  On the other hand I am a very flexible person.  

If my home reflects love, it would be love of myself.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 2:31:45 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting thread! It's both for me. Yes, it's where my Master is ... but it's also encompassed in things that are precious to me. I'm not particularly materialistic in terms of having to spend a lot of money on stuff ... hardly any of the 200+boxes and 100+ pieces of furniture that W/we shifted here recently are new! But they are things i have made or been given, my life's work in boxes of paper, books and on the computer, the 3 guitars that have been made especially for me, and furniture that feels comfortable and familiar that i don't mind the dogs and cat sharing, these things have made the new house W/we are in feel like "home". One of the first things my wise Master did was to unpack the collector teddy and westie plates into the wall unit and put up my pictures and tapestries and cross stitch pictures ... and that made it more like home immediately! While i was busy sorting out the kitchen ... i'm in total agreement with the poster who said that if she's doing the cooking, she wants to know where the potholders are! i had to split my teddy bear collection with my ex ... and i still feel the loss of some of them, i look for one and then remember it doesn't live with me any more. Silly maybe, but they all have a story attached.

This is why, when Master originally moved into my house, it was essential that He had a special place that was His, which He could decorate as He wanted (so He pinned all His hotwheels car to the wall. It looked great!). It was a bit hard to make the main house areas more His ... and He commented on that every now and then ... "someone coming in here wouldn't even think I lived here!" While undoubtedly 2/3 of the stuff that W/we moved here was "mine" and only 1/3 was "His", at least now it is becoming O/ours and W/we have chosen together how W/we want it arranged. He's feeling much more at home here.

Similarly, if things work out with My potential sub, while I would countenance her staying in the spare room short term, long term I would insist on creating a separate space especially for her, so she has somewhere with her familiar things. And there might be some things that could creep into the main house ... though it's fairly bursting at the seams already LOL!

Knight, I think You have made a wise choice to move to a new house for the 3 of Y/you to live in and to involve kyra as well as alandra in the decisions. It will make it "home" for all 3. I hope everything works out well ... and wish Y/you luck, lots of organisation and energy for the move!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 3:35:45 AM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		Home is a place to recharge your batteries. Home is a caring, safe place to spend time with your family and friends.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 4:56:16 AM   
pussinbootz


Posts: 40
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		I think for me, it's not specifically the "things" that make a home.. it't the fact that I was involved in teh decision making.

I moved into my ex's house.  He'd lived there ofer 15 years, with at least 3 other long term partners.  When I moved in he gave me the minimal amount of space I needed and I felt like he was grudging me being there for bringing my stuff with me.

The things that eventually made it a home were the things we chose together, and there weren't many. 

In the end I had a room to myself, I slept in the bed with him, but all my stuff was crammed into the back bedroom.  Almost like I was living back at my parents, I was contained in one room.

When I moved out and then moved from my temporary rented flat to my own house, I felt so free.  It was the first time I could decide how my surroundings looked and felt.  Before that, the only space I had that was truly mine was my car!!!

Now my new partner is going to be moving into my house, and I am acutely aware of not doing what my ex did to me.  I don't yet know if I am going to succeed but I really want to make him feel that he is truly welcome and that it is his home too. 

Hopefully in a few years we will be able to buy a place together and create our own little nest.

I know "things" shouldn't make a home, but for many people they do, maybe they are symbolic in the fact that a person exists and is making a mark on the world around them somehow.  That their views and opinions are important.

But, this is an issue for me anyway so YMMV.


_____________________________

In life I am his equal... in the bedroom, his collared sub.

(in reply to SleepyBeastsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 8:25:45 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Four years ago, i hiked trans canyon across the Grand canyon for 5 days with everything i needed for survival on my back. It changed my life in regards to material things and where "home" actually is...
 
Trinkets and momentos are icing and have value in the memories the inspire but "my" home is within myself and with those i love and eventually with the one who will "master" me. A house is simply refuge from the weather. Ofcourse with all the time i have spent "backcountry hiking" a bed is never underestimated!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 11:04:57 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		Home is a bit of a wobbly concept for me. There's home... and there's ... home.

I was born and raised in the same house. My parents still live there and are in no hurry to move. For some reason I think I will always look at that house as my home. I do have an appartment now and I do concider it my home, but for some reason my old bedroom at my parent's house is my sort of ultimate deep down home. Silly I guess.....

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 11:06:34 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Home, quite honestly, is any place that I feel comfortable and safe enough to let down all guards and just be myself.  It matters little if it is shared with someone or not.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 11:12:02 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I feel quite fortunate that Robert is someone who doesn't care much about "things" because I'd be going through exactly what the OP has been as well as Robert's homesickness.  I did try very hard to do what I could to make Robert's bedroom his own, starting with paint and curtains...it gives him a sense of "his own space" in this house of now 5 people.

For me making a home is love and togetherness.  If someone gave me a brand new couch today and it was suitable for the environment I'd toss the old one without a second thought.   I have never been a packrat or had attachements to things.  I've moved 30 times in my 33 years of life an some thing was left behind or broken each time.  It matters not to me.  Things are generally replaceable and I don't hold on to them as treasured property.  My husband, UMs and my slave are treasured. 

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 12:19:26 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		I am very attached to my home. I live in a little run down guest house here on my parents farm...but I have lived on this farm since I was 16 and it is a part of me.

I could easily tear down the house I'm in and build a nice new one. It's the land that I love The land is "home" to me. From the white wood fence at the road, to the pine trees in the front yard, to the mulberry bush in the corner of the back pasture, this 5 acres will always be home to me.

I've tried to leave it twice...and both times came running home, missing the company of my dogs and cats and horses...Home is a sorrel gelding standing outside my bedroom window and whinnying to me. Home is the sweet smell of hay and sawdust in my barn.

Home is the big cottonwood tree that covers my porch in white fuzzy stuff every spring. Home is the pet cemetary on the ridge in the back pasture where Marduk, Salem, Julian, Rusty, and many hamsters, gerbils, and other critters have found their final rest. It's the sight of the hundreds of toads that are out and about this time of year, including the one (is it the same one? surely not...) that sits on my doorstep every night and sings for a mate.

What can I say? This land is in my blood...here I am and here I shall be, until the day they spread my ashes over the horse pasture.

This is home.

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 12:21:52 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		As it has been said many times and many ways ... Home is where the heart is !!!

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 1:17:42 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Home, quite honestly, is any place that I feel comfortable and safe enough to let down all guards and just be myself.  It matters little if it is shared with someone or not.


That sums it up rather nicely what a home is for me.  My Lord's house is home because I can do just that even though I do not live there.

If I actually live in the house then it is also feeling of being free to move around the entire space.  Even though there are times that I might be confined to a room or say a cage, I am mostly free to be in any part of his house.  The personal space of others is respected by asking permission before entering their rooms, but I am not discouraged from going there.

Knight's Kyra 

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 1:23:32 PM   
theMadWelder


Posts: 52
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I would like to add just my 2 cents worth on this topic.

My place is where I live work play do all the things that I do, it makes a living for me and I treat it with the same respect.
I alos built my own home so yea there is something to being a modern day settler.

The old guys used to say, you aint no kinda man without land.
I do like the feeling of knowing exactly where I will lay my head every night.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 1:27:54 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

My guess is that it's hardest on the kids, and that the move to make this a new home, specially with a new adult permanently in the mix, will be hardest for them in many ways.


I agree with you there and in a way I think it is good that they are moving there before I am able to join them.  This way they will be able to focus on one challenge at a time and not be too overwhelmed. Though they often whine, "when is Kyra moving in?", "why isn't she here already?"

There was also a show on poly that Alandra watched with the oldest.  When Alandra mentioned that her and him believe that people can love more than one person, her response was "Well, duh!!"

Thankfully, my relationship with them is very strong already and the week we spent camping last summer only made it better. 

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 4:16:41 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

A part of me wants to say Home is whereever we are together, but we have lived in some intresting places that never quite felt like 'home' I'm not quite sure why. My Mothers house always felt like home, even after she died, it was her smell, her things that she enjoyed that made it something more than four walls and a door.

Our home now is our first  not rented and we have made it ours with little touches that bring comfort. I'm one of those people that  love to surrounds herself with pictures amd also there is a bit of a sense of pride in that we can say this is our home that we both worked towards.

Home is where the heart is but it helps if the walls aren't crumbling or the roof leaks :)

quote:







I reread what I wrote here and realised it made me sound more than a little materialistic and that wasn't the point I was trying to make, Home is about the people that fill it not the house itself, it helps if  the house isn't falling down around your ears tho.    It a place I feel safe, that I can walk around either naked or dressed ike a complete slob and no one will judge me, where I can  find peace and  sanctuary.

denika


< Message edited by denika -- 7/9/2007 4:17:25 PM >

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/9/2007 11:09:41 PM   
NControlofU


Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		For me and my slave, home is not a place.  Its a feeling that grows over time.  A house becomes a home, over time, because you make it your home by what you do there and how you feel there and the memories you make there.  Both of us have spent much of our lives moving from place to place and never staying in any one place for more than a few years.  Its been hard for my slave to feel as though she has a home and I have had to work on that with her and continue to work with her on that, even though she has lived with me for going on two years.  Its a ongoing process.  I found out that my slave needed a little spot in the house that she could call her own, even if it were just a corner of a room, where she could do what she wished with it.  Put up a picture, have her music and computer and know that it is her space.  That has helped her to feel like she has a place where she belongs.

I think that "things" are important, though, in making a place feel like home.  Especially things that add familiarity and sentimental value, such as pictures and books and mementos and anything else that has some personal and special meaning to someone.  Look inside any soldier's barrack room and you will see that he or she has made it their little special home by adding personal things that mean something to them.  Those "things" are what makes it a little different from the next soldier's area and makes it feel like that's their space, their home.

When I retire, in about six more years, our home may well be a boat, since we both love being on the water.  We also both love to travel but I really can't see us living in a motor home.  But, wherever we are, that's where our home is and it can and usually does change and we change, too.  But we will make it our home, wherever and whatever our home happens to be.  And, we will have our important "things" with us.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/10/2007 7:55:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Home, quite honestly, is any place that I feel comfortable and safe enough to let down all guards and just be myself.  It matters little if it is shared with someone or not.


I like this very much. My home is a haven and a retreat for me. While I understand the concept of it not being mere things I cannot say that. My things are very much a part of what makes my little farm on the hill, home. They reflect who I am and what makes me happy. Let me give examples to explain.

My flower gardens are important to me, they welcome me home and welcome the wildlife that I enjoy so much.

All of the photos of family and friends scattered about. They remind me of special times spent with people I love so much.

My grandmothers chest. Yes it is a very valuable antique that was an antique when she brought it to Iowa in the 20's. BUT, it is valuable to me because it was HERS. It always reminds me of her. She was a seamstress and stored fabric in it. Even if I could afford to buy a chest exactly like it, it wouldn't mean a fraction of what this one means to me.

Pieces of artwork and antiques here and there all over the house remind me of special times and special people.

My big comfy leather sofa that is a wonderful place to curl up with two little boys to watch movies.

My bed and favourite reading chair in my bedroom.

Now, while none of these items are more important to me than family, friends and the love shared..... they do reflect back to me the very spirit of my home. They are items that have been collected over time, things that have come to symbolize what my home is. With all certainty I know that if a tornado blazed over my hill and took everything with it, my home would still exist, but there would be a sense of loss for all of the items that are there. Rather like some people view a slave's collar or a wedding ring. Not the essense of the relationship but an important symbol of its existance.

I hope I made sense....


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/10/2007 8:38:03 AM   
vagabondduo


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/23/2006
Status: offline 		Home has taken on a new meaning recently.  I moved in with Gary and he lives in a motor home full time.  The most interesting change in the move was giving up things, those things we carry with us wherever we go.  I discovered that many of those things owned us rather than we owning the things.  Moving from my 3 bedroom house to a 42 foot motor home meant that much sorting out had to be done.  Each thing had to be reevaluated as to its importance in our lives. 

This sorting out was more difficult for Gary than it was for me as he's a packrat, however, even he saw the need to downsize to make room for me.  Many items lost their sentimental value when it came to finding a space in which to put it.  He is fortunate in that he has a garage and basement where he could put some of the items we can no longer keep with us at all times. 

Our lifestyle means that when we return from vacations, we are returning to a geographical place rather than a physical home as we take our home with us when we travel.  I remember the relief of being home after long vacations in the past.  However, we still feel that sense of coming home in that the view we're accustomed to can be seen out our windows again.  Neither of us is really a traveler even though we live in a motor home.  We spend most of our year either in MT on his acreage overlooking a lovely valley or in AZ in an RV park.  In AZ Gary golfs nearly daily, we go to the flea markets, soak in the hot springs, and bicycle.  In MT we're busy mowing grass, gardening, trimming trees, and other homeowner type activities. 

Wherever we are, we are always home.  In the evening the door is closed.  We sit together in the same room surfing the internet, making dinner, or playing cribbage.  It is our sanctuary, our little private space.  It's a time and place to cuddle and renew the reasons we are together. 

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What is Home to you? - 7/10/2007 8:56:25 AM   
jaunty1


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		Home is melissa. If she is there; then I am home.
 
Live well
 
Alex

_____________________________




(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What is Home to you? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078