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RE: Fraud detection - 7/8/2007 10:25:35 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear DSwriter, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see, a person's own gut feelings are proven right more times than wrong.

When there are things that attract one's attention that is out of place, it just calls to be looked at and then in one's mind's eyes identify; what it is, what it is not and just focus on the gray area.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to DSwriter)

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Post #: 21

RE: Fraud detection - 7/8/2007 10:31:21 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DSwriter

VeryMercurial, you're right. I confess, i'm a complete and utter fraud. My profile is total rubbish, i don't really like archeology. I don't even know what it is (the study of the curve in women's feet?). I'm not really communicating with someone that i have doubts about. I'm not really submissive. I'm not even a man.

My real name is Ethel Bongwater, i live in a dumpster in Romania, have a penchant for photographs of sheep wearing garter belts, and have trouble pronouncing the letter "Q." I'm not even writing this, I'm dictating and my kitten Snuffy is typing it for me. Your fraud dectector is working fine.

Lady Hugs, sincere thanks for the insight. I think you may be right. This person could very well be some sort of frustrated transgendered person as it seemed a number of their concerns had to do with women's clothes.

I sent an up front and honest note to the person, explaining my concerns in the politest possible way. Haven't heard back, and doubt i will.

Now that i've been thinking about all of this, i'm wondering how in the world i ever got seduced by this person in the first place. Anyone i've ever connected with through the net always behaved in a much more reasonable fashion. We usually exchanged emails till they felt comfortable moving to the phone. And our communication was not all BDSM related. Usually it's focused on "normal" stuff.

With this person everything has had a very fantasy-like quality to it. Which was intoxicating at first, but no longer seems real. I'm going to chalk it up to the seduction of the dark side.

Wouldn't be too hard on yourself...excitement blinds you to a lot of things.

It also kills your judgement. I have to constantly tell some that contact me, to slow down....you don't know me yet, so don't be "giving" yourself to me or anyone else after a few emails.

If you are serious, take time. I not sure what you are looking for, if you are looking for r/t then I suggest you take the time and get to know them, and be weary of such online request....if you are in fact looking for online domination, I would still suggest you know them well enough to get comfortable enough to do such things.

I do hope that you can move on soon and are not too thrown by your experience

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to DSwriter)

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Post #: 22

RE: Fraud detection - 7/9/2007 7:27:36 PM

DSwriter

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/14/2007
From: New Hope, PA
Status: offline

Well, she has been online but not responded to my email. I'm guessing i will not, now that she knows that i am on to the charade. Which is just as well. I am not looking for online domination. Prefer a stronger dose of reality in my relationships.

Sincere thanks for the very thoughtful replies. You are right about taking one's time. As Friar Lawrence put it in Romeo & Juliet, "Wisely and slow, the runner stumbles." (paraphrase)

I always thought that was what the story was all about. The wisdom of letting a relationship - love - grow over time. R&J only saw each other three times; at the party, when they slept together, and when they got married. The real tragedy of the story is that they died over a very hot infatuation. (Right before he meets Juliet, Romeo is all upset over the fact that he is in love with some other woman, Rosalind(?), whom he quickly forgets in favor of Juliet.)

But I suppose that's getting rather off track. And it's open to debate whether you can love someone in an instant - or whether it takes years to develop. (IMHO it takes years to develop - how can you love someone you don't even know - which you don't after just one date).

Something very good has come of this. I came to these boards to pose my question, and found this community. All of which i find very ying/yang. For every fraud, there is someone sincere and true.

Thank you all for your support and sound advice.

(in reply to DrkJourney)

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Post #: 23

RE: Fraud detection - 7/9/2007 9:22:56 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
In my mind's eyes I see, a person's own gut feelings are proven right more times than wrong.

Indeed. There are books about emotional intelligence, the essence of which is that emotions and feelings are based on data and provide useful information alongside reason, and that one can benefit from drawing upon this information. I think the trick is to be able to develop this ability to discern between what feelings tell us.

I bought a book about emotional intelligence a couple of years ago but have not made much progress. It asks the reader to go through a meditation exercise which asks one to lie comfortably and focus on all sensations. I would become so relaxed that I would asleep--I was never able to get past the exercise! ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

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Post #: 24

RE: Fraud detection - 7/9/2007 9:50:44 PM

WyckedMystress

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

sadly there are many fruads out here. Somtimes I wish for a way to report them before they delete their profile so that maybe they can be 'watched' for. but then aas it has been said this is an online world.

My advice -go with gut instinct - if something they says doesnt ring true then move on.

Goodluck

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RE: Fraud detection - 7/9/2007 10:43:51 PM

Privatedetector

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline

you are

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Post #: 26

RE: Fraud detection - 7/10/2007 12:52:53 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Ok, ok, i apologize for my antics

Was just having a little fun you understand

You may go back to touching yourself again

The gig is up, i have been exposed

Now you know Victoria's Secret!

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: Fraud detection - 7/10/2007 6:11:41 PM

DSwriter

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/14/2007
From: New Hope, PA
Status: offline

Ch-ch-ch-chia!

lol

Should have known it was you, when you told to get me to shave my head and plant little tiny seeds in my scalp and then water myself twice daily.

Apology accepted.

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Post #: 28

RE: Fraud detection - 7/10/2007 6:30:55 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Good catch DS. It's very easy to get caught up in the excitment that is the potential start of something new. Afterall eventually it will be the real thing and wouldn't just wanna smack yourself if you missed out on the inital fun with the right person??? I think we have all been there done that. I personally find that when i get to the point that i start wondering if someone is real, they no longer are to me. I find myself disconnecting with the idea even before the reality hits.

As for the phone, i do so hate talking on the phone. Always have. Feel really stupid calling someone i don't know well. Would prefer to webcam and i almost never do that either! At least on the cam i don't look the 13 year old i sound like on the phone.

Keep up the search, there's someone out there for everyone, eventually

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

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RE: Fraud detection - 7/13/2007 6:32:08 PM

kissez4usub

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/3/2007
From: Jamaica; NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

This thread struck a cord with me. I have been on this site for years, but have never posted. In my profile I have written a journal entry telling any who read it what I think of the online games. But then, I am real time only. I refuse to "Domme" anyone online. I also refuse to spend weeks, months and even sometimes a year, IMing or emailing with someone I have never met. You can think there is a strong chemistry and connection, but when you meet in person, there is nothing there. Due to this, I require a meeting face to face very quickly. I am tired of wasting my time and making the emotional investment necessary to carry on lengthy chats and emails with someone I may never meet. What I have found is that if I require they meet me many tend to disappear. Deleted profiles, cell phones shut off, etc. For some, the online pursuit is all they are in this for. I had one man on collarme beg me for a year to be my slave. He insisted he would fly here and would be available regularly, even though he would not relocate. I put him off all that time. Then, finally, I called him on it. As soon as he agreed to fly in the next weekend, "poof"... gone. Now I wish I had made the meeting requirement a year ago. LOL

One indication I have seen over the years is if someone changes their screen name. Those who only look for the online connection run and hide when pushed to do more than chat.

If you are happy with online Domination, and long distance relationships, then I guess it doesn't really matter what the gender of the person sending you the instructions via email is. If you want real time, it is very important to meet them.

Most on collarme are wannabe's and/or fakes. It takes a great deal of time to find and connect with those who are real.

Mistress Sharon

P.S. You can call anyone and just block your number so they can't see it. It works well for the first couple phone calls in case you decide they are a nut case. <grin>

Good luck out there.

You spoke of exactly what I wanted to say.
I joined this site just over two months ago, and I'm still in the Caribbean.
As a graduate student, I joined the site to explore my dominating personality, harbouring it from several relationships.
I am currently making plans to migrate to the US (got an incredible, legit job offer) by the start of the new year, and so far if anyone reads my profile I specify online relationships with the possibility of r/t. Funny enough, a week into the relationship, slaves 'disappear' - no more lengthy emails, nada. I have a webcam, and a cellphone and a picture on my profile, and no one can dare say I'm a fake. But for those so-called subs/slaves, for whatever reason, after them pursuing the initial contact, they phase out, be it losing interest, being fake or whatever.
The axe swings both ways u know.. just a matter of knowing urself.

_____________________________

.:: why try and fit in when i was born to stand out? ::.

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