Sub versus slave

Sub versus slave (Full Version)

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wannabesub67 -> Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 4:14:20 PM)
I am very new to this, have not had my first experience but have been very interested for a long time. I had thought I wanted more of a sub relationship since I thought that meant I would be in more of a relationship and more special to my DOm. But I have begun talking to a Master whom I find very exciting and I have a desire to pursue a relationship with him, but, he wants a slave. He says I will be well taken care of and that he will respect my life and my children. Is there a big difference? I want to feel loved and cherished by the man I live to please.

kyraofMists -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 4:16:08 PM)
Honestly, you have to ask him what the difference is in his eyes. I can tell you what the difference is in my relationship but that may be very different than what he is expecting. Knight's Kyra

mnottertail -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 4:17:05 PM)
Hey--------who fuckin' knows, huh?

dincubus -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 4:21:49 PM)
Kyra well said. What one person may consider a slave may be considered a sub to another. it all depends upon the two people, or more if one is poly, wish the relationship to be.

Littlepita -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 4:33:27 PM)
You will only find those answers with lots of and lots of communication and being together. My Sir and I spent 10 months online before moving into together. We had lots of preconceived ideas about what we thought we wanted from each other and out of this lifestyle. He wanted a slave and had lots of ideas about how things would be once we were together. I wanted to please him and be the slave I thought I should be. You can't be what you aren't. Both of us were new to actually living this lifestyle and the last 15 months of living together have been a wonderful learning experience. What we have learned is to not have absolutes before you know what you're really getting into. Try a label on yourself for awhile and if it works for you both then great, and if not then try a another one. For instance, I tried being a service slave once at a formal dinner party, because my Sir thought it would be good for me to do this. I totally sucked at it! He didn't like it and I didn't like it. So we said to heck with that idea. The motto we live by is, "If it ain't fun then don't do it." If your dominant is the one for you then things shouldn't be forced. You are new and you have to listen to your heart and do what feels right for you. If your dominant is trying to force you be something you aren't ready to be then there is a problem. I wish you all the best. [:)]

AquaticSub -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 4:36:53 PM)
You will find some who will you there is a difference. I don't believe there is. There is only what your owner calls you.

wannabesub67 -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 5:11:54 PM)
Thank you all. He has said that the difference to him is the right or ability to make my own decisions!

Littlepita -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 5:23:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannabesub67 Thank you all. He has said that the difference to him is the right or ability to make my own decisions! Are those the decisions you have agreed he can have control over or does that include everything in your life? My Sir makes all decisions for me that we have predetermined he has control over. My UM, my faith, and my career are mine and he acts as mentor in these areas.

BabyNyla -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/8/2007 5:35:05 PM)
I think ... like everythign else ... it's dependent. There is no rule book and everyone in D/s sees everything differently. For us, my Daddy calls me a slave, because in his eyes I do everything for him, I give him all I have to give, and he sees me as a perfect person, he always tells me how much he cherishes my gift to him. To others, they may not see me as a slave, by their standards. Some even tell me I am not submissive or slave, because I have opinions and free thoughts. But I don't serve them, so to me, it doesn't really matter how they view me. He is what matters :-)

Lewcifer -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/9/2007 10:49:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannabesub67 I am very new to this, have not had my first experience but have been very interested for a long time. I had thought I wanted more of a sub relationship since I thought that meant I would be in more of a relationship and more special to my DOm. But I have begun talking to a Master whom I find very exciting and I have a desire to pursue a relationship with him, but, he wants a slave. He says I will be well taken care of and that he will respect my life and my children. Is there a big difference? I want to feel loved and cherished by the man I live to please. Since you have begun talking to a Master whom you find very exciting, why don't you also give Him the respect He deserves and discuss this issue with Him first, rather than with U/us? Knowing that your relationship with Him will likely be negotiated ahead of time, shouldn't you be focused on communicating with Him directly? I personally find it puzzling that you didn't take the time to ask this of Him, and instead subverted His opportunity of first response when it comes to lifestyle questions you might have. Personally, I'd be very offended if my slave asked others questions about O/our relationship without first going through the effort of addressing them with Me. Perhaps you're not ready for the psychological submission (and trust) inherent in the relationship you wish to establish.

SlND3R3LLA -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/9/2007 10:58:04 AM)
Ask a hundred different subs/slave/doms and get a hundred different answers. I am a slave to my Master, but it's not the same way it was with doms in the past. Each dom had a different way to doing things, and each relationship had a different dynamic. You need to talk to him, a lot. Being a slave can have a fantasy feel about it, but there can be some harsh realities. It depends on the dom you are talking to. It can get you a relationship with a lot of love, but so can a submissive one. It can also get you a home where you are cut off from all friends, family, and things you care about. Like I said, it's not whether you are a submissive or a slave, it is more what your dom thinks either one is. Saying he has control leaves a lot left unsaid. That would be a red flag for me, but maybe it isn't for you. Don't get caught up on the frenzy of the romance, being chained naked at his feet... get your adult thinking cap on and think about what you want, and what you are getting yourself into. You have to protect yourself and your family... no one else will. ~sin, Masters slave (that didn't jump into it)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/9/2007 10:58:06 AM)
As always- find out what you would be agreeing to and expectations you would be held to. Then decide if that works for you or not.

Viciousbabe -> RE: Sub versus slave (7/9/2007 9:51:09 PM)
I can't agree more with most of the posts so far. It is key that you know what he expects out of you and how much you are willing to give. For instance, would you be ok with him telling you not to go see your family on a holiday? Are you comfortable handing all of your finances over to him? Will he listen to your opinions/thoughts/concerns? From what I gathered a slave is some one who's only choice is that she gives her self to her Master. A sub, while submitting to her Dom, has control over certain areas of her life but not others. Again, it does depend on His definiton and what you two work out

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