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im in the shit -again! - 6/17/2005 7:51:49 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		hello fellow subs,
im in trouble with my Sir. This time my crime was to take something that he'd intended for me, but had not given to me, as he was asleep.
Weve both had a rough week, long working hrs, tetchy moods from tiredness etc. And for my crime, im not being spoken to.
I really feel that this week, i have a really huge issue that im dealing with in my personal life, this is the week when i need him most, but no amount of pleading is getting me anywhere. I am without his support when i needed it most. Im truly hurt and feeling abandoned in my hour of need.
Tomorrow, i will be seeing my daughter for the first time in 6 months since she was snatched and taken interstate by my ex. Im wobbling all over the place, and would of dearly liked the support i needed and craved from my Sir, instead, im being ignored.
Im in a foreign country, with no family to turn to.
Although i accept that it is His decision, when he either forgives me, or supports me, time has run out now, and ive been on my own with this for 4 days.
I cant help thinking that his ignoring me at this particular time, is cruel. So being contrite is difficult.
Im simply lost in how i achieve a state of peace between us again. And im feeling resentful toward Him.
Any suggestions on how to crawl back into good books? How to get rid of this feeling of resentment.
Im one of those people who would always support someone in need, and put aside any difficult feelings i have with that person if they needed me. Why doesnt my Sir?
confused
pandoravampire
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/17/2005 8:34:21 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I would think that he would understand the unique circumstances involved and give you some support. Perhaps change or delay the punishment. That's what I would do, but he is your Master. You must obey.
I would suggest maybe writing a letter to him explaining your feelings. That may help.

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/17/2005 8:41:05 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I would suggest maybe writing a letter to him explaining your feelings. That may help.



To me letters in general when read give a person more time to think. And usually it is read more than once. I agree with Estring that this may help.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/17/2005 10:01:17 PM   
MaggieLynn


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I would think that he would understand the unique circumstances involved and give you some support. Perhaps change or delay the punishment. That's what I would do, but he is your Master. You must obey.
I would suggest maybe writing a letter to him explaining your feelings. That may help.


If they are together I doubt He is in the dark as to her feelings or how emotionally upsetting this must be.

To withold support when it is so sorely needed simply because of an infraction of some sort seems rather heartless to me. I can't imagine my Master doing anything remotely close to that.

If all were going well otherwise, ok... this is the form of punishment He chooses to dish out. No argueing it's His choice to make.

But since things are obviously not going well, it just seems cruel and childish to me.

Just my .02 worth mind you.

_____________________________

~*~ Scars are just tattoos with better stories ~*~

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/17/2005 10:34:07 PM   
wishful1


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have found that when my Master is angry with me, and ignoring me, that it is best for me to write him a note and leave it for Him, or e-mail it to Him. That way He can read it at His convenience, when He is in the mood to read it. I don't do this for things that are not important, but I certainly think that the fact that you need His support right now is very important. Generally He will read it within a couple of hours of receiving it.

You might make it clear that you are not trying to escape punishment, that you know you disappointed Him, and ask if things can be put on hold until after you have seen your daughter and things get back to 'normal'. Let Him know how much His support means to you - hopefully then He will give you the support and love that you need. Good luck!

(in reply to MaggieLynn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/17/2005 11:10:50 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		I have taken the suggestion to leave him a letter.
But as i get in from work at 11pm tonight, and get up early to meet my daughters flight, i dont see much opportunity for a reconciliation or time for support prior to her arrival, but it would be nice to not have a atmosphere for when she arrives.
thankyou for your suggestion of the letter, i was at a loose end as to some way of breaking through his silence. Hopefully, it will work.
pandora

(in reply to wishful1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 3:46:24 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well I'm probably too late answering this, and I don't really have anything nice to say about your master, or any advice how you could approach this.

You're hurt. He's hurting you emotionally with the withdrawal of support you desperately NEED. You're not getting your needs met here and for what..? You took something..? I'd say he's not the man for you.

~ Elektra

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 6:42:00 AM   
fourpeas


Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with Elektra. Is it not punishment enough to know that you've disappointed him, and do you really need the extra punishment when you are obviously, obviously not feeling strong right now?? I think a good Master would want to help you through this and it would be His job to do so *even though he may be upset with you or you may have disappointed you* because I don't think you should ever, ever be punished in anger. That's what it feels like to me.

(in reply to ElektraUkM)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 8:26:24 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I feel that any "Master" who does not offer his submissive/slave emotional support when she needs it, when she is in pain over something, does not deserve the title of Dom or Master.

But that's just me personally.

(in reply to fourpeas)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 8:53:04 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The situation seems way over dramatic to me...while I don't know exactly what the punishment is for, it does seemto be petty and more an excuse to "be domly" and avoid the emotional issues going on right here (gasp, which doms often do!)

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 1:00:54 PM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

The situation seems way over dramatic to me...while I don't know exactly what the punishment is for, it does seemto be petty and more an excuse to "be domly" and avoid the emotional issues going on right here (gasp, which doms often do!)


To "be domly" or to be a total unfeeling asshole?

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 1:21:31 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

< Message edited by gretchen -- 6/18/2005 1:35:55 PM >

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 1:32:12 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Probably is too late but...I have a rant to take out of my chest anyway...

What material thing can be so damn important that gets in the middle of your relationship??...
A brand new flying DeLorean??...Did you took it for a drive and crushed it against a police station during that night??...When did "superficial" turn "important" beetwen you two??

I really don't understand his DRAMA here. He should reconsider coming down to reality for five minutes! Did you think on telling him that?

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 1:41:39 PM   
cumslutcockwhore


Posts: 46
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

The situation seems way over dramatic to me...while I don't know exactly what the punishment is for, it does seemto be petty and more an excuse to "be domly" and avoid the emotional issues going on right here (gasp, which doms often do!)


To "be domly" or to be a total unfeeling asshole?


in my rather sarcastic snobbish mood.... dom = inconsiderate asshole = unsympathetic = unempathetic =selfish= greedy = proud ====== MEN!

God i dont get it! why do titles make of us some other than pure HUMAN BEINGS!

Women are from Venus and men are from fucking Mars.

Just cause a man is an inconsiderate asshole does not make a girl reject him for his weakness and vulnerability......

but on the other hand...girl, i feelso bad for you... been there and it so hurts to the deepest of cores.

{{{{hugs}}}}}}

_____________________________

if you dont give a damn neither do I

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 3:58:13 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

The situation seems way over dramatic to me...while I don't know exactly what the punishment is for, it does seemto be petty and more an excuse to "be domly" and avoid the emotional issues going on right here (gasp, which doms often do!)


To "be domly" or to be a total unfeeling asshole?


Well there's a reason I put "be domly" in quotation marks :)

One can be a dom AND be an unfeeling asshole, but it's not being a good dominant to use authority in order to avoid relevant emotional issues.

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/18/2005 9:27:03 PM   
woodsbunny


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		From the description given by pandorvampire my immediate reaction was that her master had made a mistake in the type and time of punishment.

It is really easy for a master to make this kind of mistake when they are angry. Punishment should never be given when a master is angry. Never.

If, in a fit of anger, a master makes a mistake, they should be willing afterwards to acknowledge their mistake and try to make amends. It takes a whole lot of courage to acknowlege a mistake.

Woodsbunny

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/19/2005 3:24:08 AM   
KittieSummers


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		My Mistress sometimes uses ignoring me as a form of punishment but I KNOW that something like that would immediately either cancle it out or put it on hold. I was once uder that punishment and I found out my baby sister was really ill or my Dad rang me and was a bastard or something (I don't remember exactly what it was) and She immediately took me in Her arms and held me. I am secure in the knowlege that She always would. That nothing I can do it so bad that She would not offer me support when I needed it. I have 'episodes' where I get very scared and have to hide in a dark small place and can't be touched. I did that recently when I was due for a caning, and She crouched a reasonable distance from me and said Shee would leave it until I was back to normal again. I believe a Dom/me should always consider the feelings of thier sub/slave even when they are under punishment. It is as much (if not more) thier job to look after us, as it is ours to look after them. We are totally dependant on them, therefore we need them to be dependable. I'm sorry honey, but I disagree completely with what your Master has done and am seething on your behalf.

Rant over.

_____________________________

Kittie ~ honoured to be Hers...

Don't try to be a great sub, just be a sub and let history make it's own judgements.

Blessed Be

(in reply to woodsbunny)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/19/2005 7:09:40 PM   
Sereniti


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		For me, if mine was upset at me and put aside his anger in my time of need, it would almost be a double punishment, to know how greatly I've dissapointed him and then to know I'm, deserving of punishment that he has the grace to put aside punishment in order to support me, I would feel loved and cherished beyond words and would only feel THAT much more badly for dissapointing him to begine with, I would feel much much worse while he is showing me his support that I had let him down just before he is supporting me, though I would alwys gladly take his support

I'm not sure I'm making sense, so I will hush, I'm wishing you very good luck though

(in reply to KittieSummers)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: im in the shit -again! - 6/20/2005 2:11:53 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		Thankyou all for your support. I wrote this post at my lowest, and had hit a blank as to what do i do now?
The letter was a great idea.
Long story short, he was not aware that i was in that much need. He'd checked out i was ok at the beginning of the week, (when i was) and had assumed that therefor i would be ok for the whole week. Men really are from Mars arent they? even male Dom's.
His annoyance at me, was in my behaviour, that just kinda deteriorated into snappy, assertive prick. It was the lack of respect that didnt get my requests met.
And i had totally forgot, and have since been reminded, that i do have a safe word which i have never thought to instigate. (it just didnt occur to me, that i would use a safe word for non sexual D/s).
But all is well now, thankyou all for your concern and consideration.
And for those that dissed my Sir? Well, even Sir's get it wrong sometimes, but this one says sorry for his mistakes and learns, as do we all, as we go along.
It was invaluable to me, to gain support where i felt i had none,
once again
thankyou all
pandora

(in reply to Sereniti)
Profile   Post #: 19
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