Disliking my Masters friends

Disliking my Masters friends (Full Version)

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nonuts4thshoney -> Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 4:46:03 PM)
Today my master told me that she would be going out with some friends on tuesday and that I could meet her after I get off of work. One of her friends is her ex-girlfriend (vanilla relationship) and there is something about her that I don't like, but I cannot pin point it. I know that Everytime she speaks to her online or I hear that she spoke to her on the phone , whatever the situation..I get extremely upset inside and my stomache turns into knots. I know that she is just a friend because my master has told me this. I just feel so uncomfortable around her. I am told that I should get to know her because she is a very nice person. Today I reacted to this in a very bratty way to the point that I upset my master alot. I told her that I do not wish to know her, converse with her and spend any time with her. After my tantrum I realized I had made a mistake and upset her. Because she is right that I have no valid reason for disliking her friend (the ex) and that I need to give it a chance. Immediately I apologized, but now I am completely in tears because I feel so horrible and everytime that I do this (and it's only when it comes to her ex) I end up upseting her.

fourpeas -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 6:29:40 PM)
Hmmm. Not quite sure what to tell you... How did their relationship end? Are you worried that she might still have feelings for her? It sounds like deep down inside, you might be. But I'm not sure. Getting it all out and realizing that it's irrational or whatever can help though. Tell us more.

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 6:57:07 PM)
Actually I dont think that there are still feelings there. And I know that I'm probably being irrational about the whole situation. It's just have you ever met someone and a funky (lol) vibe was there? I just wish I didn't have to speak to this woman because I just do not wish too. And actually it's not just her..it's her girlfriend too. LOL! OMG I'm such a bratty subby.

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 6:59:07 PM)
Oh and about your question on how their relationship ended.... It was a very short relationship and actually not even that. They were just seeing each other for a few monthes. It ended because they were not compatible.

fourpeas -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 9:21:48 PM)
I can be a bratty subby sometimes too.... My Dom and I are reading this book together about how those feelings are not always bad, how sometimes those bad feelings in ourselves that we have honestly do spring from a good and kind place... So I would encourage you to check that thought process out and see how you feel. But I know what you mean. I haven't met his ex, but this is someone who was his ex-fiancee, and this b@^&! really burned him. So much. Burned him so hard. and I am like... do not let me get my hands on that cheating slut or I will wring her neck. It was also a vanilla relationship. I wrote a song about it, about Don't let me find the girl who broke your heart or I'll have to kick her ass into next Tuesday Don't worry about me Getting caught for the First degree I'll only make her wish she were dead... By taking a 2x4 right to her head... Ummm... yeah. So I know how those jealous feelings go. And those come from a good place. Those feelings come from a place of being possessive, of wanting to hold the attention of your Master, etc. But don't let those feelings go to a bad place. Anyhow... That's my take on the whole situation. xo-4peas

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 11:00:30 PM)
This relationship has so many holes and broken pieces there's really nowhere to start. Is there ANYTHING about this relationship that makes either of you feel more fulfilled and happy than you would be alone? Other than the fear of being alone?

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/18/2005 11:12:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 This relationship has so many holes and broken pieces there's really nowhere to start. Is there ANYTHING about this relationship that makes either of you feel more fulfilled and happy than you would be alone? Other than the fear of being alone? She means the world to me. I do not follow why you ask this. There is no fear of being alone. I couldn't imagine my life without her.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/19/2005 8:04:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney She means the world to me. I do not follow why you ask this. There is no fear of being alone. I couldn't imagine my life without her. Oh just the start of a half dozen threads in the few days talking about how bad and confused and hurt everyone is.

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/19/2005 9:13:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 quote: ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney She means the world to me. I do not follow why you ask this. There is no fear of being alone. I couldn't imagine my life without her. Oh just the start of a half dozen threads in the few days talking about how bad and confused and hurt everyone is. Not confused...Not hurt. And who is everyone?

Mercnbeth -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/19/2005 9:22:00 AM)
quote: "Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire?" William Shakespeare (Sonnet LVII) this slave would encourage you to wrap your mind around your tag line a bit. perhaps take some time out each day to meditate on it, center yourself with it. this slave recites and meditates on our contract and rules each day. it is a very important part of the day that reaffirms and gives this slave a point of focus throughout the day during situations where this slave might be in jeopardy of displeasing Master with reactional petty, "catty" behavior towards some otherwise meaningless female (ex or not). if Master desires for you to open yourself up to others in a social way, be open to a friendship that could happen, then that is a desire that should be tended to, by you, don't you think? it doesn't mean that you and his ex will hit it off and become friends, but being open to the experience and setting aside your own petty jealousies sounds like two good first steps to pleasing, serving and obeying your Master. best wishes! beth

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/19/2005 9:40:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: "Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire?" William Shakespeare (Sonnet LVII) this slave would encourage you to wrap your mind around your tag line a bit. perhaps take some time out each day to meditate on it, center yourself with it. this slave recites and meditates on our contract and rules each day. it is a very important part of the day that reaffirms and gives this slave a point of focus throughout the day during situations where this slave might be in jeopardy of displeasing Master with reactional petty, "catty" behavior towards some otherwise meaningless female (ex or not). if Master desires for you to open yourself up to others in a social way, be open to a friendship that could happen, then that is a desire that should be tended to, by you, don't you think? it doesn't mean that you and his ex will hit it off and become friends, but being open to the experience and setting aside your own petty jealousies sounds like two good first steps to pleasing, serving and obeying your Master. best wishes! beth Perhaps you are right. Maybe I should also start a journal being that I don't have one. And take some time to reflect on my thoughts. I realized last night after taking some time to think about my actions recently and I found that my brattiness is stemming from my going back to work. I used to stay home and tend to the house and to her as well when she was at home. Now I find that she has to do certain things on her own because I am not there to tend to those needs. And this is hurting me. I'm having a hard time adjusting to this. Maybe I do need that journal. LOL!

KittieSummers -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/20/2005 2:28:36 PM)
Hey honey, Try livejournal.com...it's easy to set up, free, and easy to use. I have one. My name on it is red_in_leather if you want to check it out. Good luck with everything. Kittie x

pandoravampire -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/20/2005 2:44:36 PM)
Well, you chipped in for me, so here's my two pennorth worth. For those of us that LIVE this lifestyle, it has many hurdles, MANY!!!! Some of us, are a little on the brat side, just a tad perhaps. Vanilla me response: be sickly sweet, as your introduced, even get her a drink, spit in it, then enjoy as she drinks. All secretly of course. My submissive response to this problem, is when in doubt, submit. Do what it is that your being told to do. That way, you will find favour from your Domme for trying. You dont have to like the woman, or her girlfriend, just be sociable. Think of it like roleplay. Of course, make sure you look a million dollars first though! lol

asissyforher -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/20/2005 2:49:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney Today my master told me that she would be going out with some friends on tuesday and that I could meet her after I get off of work. One of her friends is her ex-girlfriend (vanilla relationship) and there is something about her that I don't like, but I cannot pin point it. I know that Everytime she speaks to her online or I hear that she spoke to her on the phone , whatever the situation..I get extremely upset inside and my stomache turns into knots. I know that she is just a friend because my master has told me this. I just feel so uncomfortable around her. I am told that I should get to know her because she is a very nice person. Today I reacted to this in a very bratty way to the point that I upset my master alot. I told her that I do not wish to know her, converse with her and spend any time with her. After my tantrum I realized I had made a mistake and upset her. Because she is right that I have no valid reason for disliking her friend (the ex) and that I need to give it a chance. Immediately I apologized, but now I am completely in tears because I feel so horrible and everytime that I do this (and it's only when it comes to her ex) I end up upseting her. master? she? what did i miss? anyway. i found several of my 1st Ms friends i thought were low lifes. several did not know what a shower was. and these are Dommes and Doms. one had a dog She let "go" anywhere in Her house. you could smell Her place a block away. friends? guess it is like i am told, you can't pick friends for other people. i do not understand it myself. but so much of this makes no sense logically.

sub4hire -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/20/2005 3:09:07 PM)
If it isn't jealousy and just your gut instinct then I'd say suck it up. Deal with it. Nobody can control your instinct. My dom has a few friends I feel the same way about. We had a party once. One of them make an off color remark. I didn't respond because I didn't know if I should or not. Anyway, after the party was over and we were talking about it I was asked why I didn't respond. I essentially said, well we hadn't talked. I didn't know if you wanted me defending myself and speaking up. I was told the way it would be from there on out. I should have spoken up. Said, no this is the way it is. I didn't do that...lesson learned. It went on for about a year before we had a big battle. He has apologized and said he went over the line. Yet, I'm not really over it yet. We still hang out with them when Doug feels like it. I just have to suck it up. The guy loves talking lifestyle with me. Generally when we part Doug always looks at me now and asks my opinion of the whole visit. It usually isn't good. Yet, it is what he wants to do so we do it. No reason to upset her, that is never a good thing.

nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/20/2005 9:34:28 PM)
Yeah I'm just gonna suck it up. It's probably the best thing. :::: makes voodoo doll in my head ::: ::: poke ::: :::poke ::: LOL!!!!

Rascalyrabbit -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/20/2005 11:55:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asissyforher master? she? what did i miss? LOL, I am nonuts master. To end your confusion, I am a female and I identify myself as a master, not a mistress. I think that my sub would agree that it just fits me better.

ginger21 -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/21/2005 2:31:31 AM)
I understand what it's like to not like one of your Master's friends... My Master used to be friends with someone I utterly detest. Mostly because the guy is an out and out ass, and the way he treated my Master, but also because of the things I know he said about me. My master showed him and his girlfriend some pictures of me in the midst of one of our training sessions. He then had the effrontery (don't you love the thesaurus?) to tell my Master that he could do better than me because I am overweight. I wanted to kick this guy square in the nuts the first time I actually met him. But he was my Master's friend, so I sucked it up. Eventually, the fucktard screwed over my Master so badly that the friendship ended. I'm not too broken up about it, but I think my Master was a tad upset. If this chick has given you reason not to like her, then you don't have to. She'll show her true colors and that'll be the end of that. If you're just being paranoid, I think you should suck it up honey. ^_^ BTW, I love that sonnet.

zephyresque -> pick your battles carefully (6/21/2005 3:02:04 AM)
My advice: Consider privately what the underlying cause may be. Do you truly dislike the friends, or do you dislike the attention your Master pays them at your expense? After due consideration, ask politely if you may speak freely. If you're told you may, do so. But practice what you're going to say so you don't sound irrational or strident. Be honest, but don't assinate your Master's friends' characters. If you're told to put up with it, decide if you can do so. If you can't, move on. Good luck :)

Hissweetshiv -> RE: Disliking my Masters friends (6/27/2005 10:05:56 AM)
Sometimes, people just aren't meant to be friends. I can appreciate your Master's point of view in wanting someone She cares deeply for (you) to get along with Her friends. However, if you have no desire to socialize with this person, then you shouldn't be forced to either. Be civil and polite, certainly, so as not to shame your Master, but She should be understanding and not force you to spend time with this person when there are alternatives. Associating as little as possible with the person is FAR better than blowups where Y/you both end up feeling awful. ~shiv

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