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vield -> RE: initiating (7/12/2007 10:58:18 AM)
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As far as initiating a first contact towards making a serious connection, I discovered long ago that if I waited, I got to watch those other subbie men who did NOT wait make connections while I continued to wait.
In the USA once in awhile a Dominant woman will approach someone showing submissive signals, but not that often. In public places the Dominant will often be getting more attention than she wishes anyway, so when you make an approach you may be shot down and if you do not make an approach you get to be a voyeur.
If the venue is open to Professional Dommes seeking clients you might have a fair chance of connecting. However if a male sub truly wishes to wait and never make the approach, the most likely Dominant who may begin an aproach would be a gay male Dominant.
Making a first contact is taking a risk for anyone, and few people enjoy being rejected.
My observation has been that all people female or male, Dominant or submissive who are able to bring themself to respectfully and politely approach people they find attractive and interesting are a lot more likely to succeed in connecting with such a person than those who sit and wait.
There are a number of play events which do make things a bit easier by giving out armbands, badges or ribbons of various colors one can use to signify things like Dominant seeking play, submissive seeking play, switch seeking play. A few have more elaborate signals to show gender preference or type of play preference, and so forth.
One way anyone can put themself forward to be approached is to volunteer as an auctioned prize for the fund raising auction many events hold. There are lots of slave auctions and some Dominant auctions as well. Usually these are great causes and have clear rules about what the boundaries are, and they can be fun. However if you are a male sub among many male subs and you are not well known you could suffer the humiliation of having no one bid on you. A sweet thing a switchy friend of mine used to do a lot was to buy the guys no one bid on at a $5 bid each, and give them to other sub women friends to do foot massages and worship. She made everyone's day more fun that was chosen or got a free one, and likely spent less than it would have cost her to bid on a popular Dom or sub.
As far as initiating activity once the Domme and subbie have nade a connection, this is entirely up to the Domme's preferences. I know some Mistresses want total control and require it. Others want you to show your sensitivity and initiative in finding ways to Please her!
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