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new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 4:04:54 AM

cheekysmile

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i have just begun a new relationship with a Domme, She is very good at reading my thoughts and body language, i have fallen head over heels with Her and want to please Her sexually, i had the opportunity to do so on the last night of a 3 day stay, coached by Her partner, we had a lovely time pleasing each other, i felt real horney as She came, then we talked about it, She offered to please me in the same way as a reward, well of course i was up for it....i was focused....alas i could not release, id get to the point of warm feet, heat rush but then it would all go away....wat was i doing wrong, i feel as though i have failed my Mistress....i have no problem getting to the point of release and then cumming at home.

in the end i left there and was so angry with myself i put my self in danger by speeding on the motorway home, thus i got an essay for doing so...when i recall this whole thing, i feel the pit of my stomach rise.

please help me to understand what went on here and any advise would be appreciated.

thankyou
cheekysmile

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 4:09:01 AM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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orgasm for a woman is a lot more complex then for a man, women need to be relaxed mentally, you were so in your head about comming you could not come...it will shift as you get more comfortable with each other.

but dont ever drive like that on the highway again...you are not only putting your life in danger but mine as well...and i would be pissed if i died because you could not come.

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 5:06:09 AM

wwwkevinww

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speeding in and of itself on a freeway ( especially empty or few cars) isn't that dangerous...it really depends on the situation and if you are generally careful...

you could be driving under the speed limit and still get into an accident, speed alone isn't a good indication of how safe your being....

I think your being way too hard on yourself and orgasm alone isn't an indication of how much actual fun your having....

orgasms are mostly about what your focused on in the head, and women are not more complex than men.....

if you know how to get an orgasm, then you should be able to show someone else how to give you one or what not physically, while focusing on the buttons that really make you hot, whatever that might be....its particular ideas or experiences, etc that you found really exciting....

People are born, they die, people die stupidly all the time. I think there is a website devoted to it....

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 5:20:12 AM

Focus50

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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

orgasm for a woman is a lot more complex then for a man <snip>

Lol, yes, anxiety NEVER causes males to have erection problems - I'm with ya....!

To the OP, I think that's all that happened - anxiety! It happens to everyone. For us men, the more we "will" ourselves to perform, the less likely it'll happen. And the consequences are there for *anyone* present to plainly see, dammit! Assuming your Mistress is any kind of mature adult, she'll know that that's all that happened to you, too! If she were me, I'd also be pissed at your attitude and driving after - but NOT for being over anxious beforehand, that's actually kinda sweet....

Focus.

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 8:14:21 AM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

speeding in and of itself on a freeway ( especially empty or few cars) isn't that dangerous...it really depends on the situation and if you are generally careful... No....speeding is dangerous for all sorts of reasons...unable to stop quicker in the event a car slams on the breaks in front of you for starters. Obstacles on the road is another, you can't see them as readily if you are speeding. Not to mention the OP was speeding because her mind was in a "bad place" so she's already not as focused as she should be on driving.

you could be driving under the speed limit and still get into an accident, speed alone isn't a good indication of how safe your being....

I think your being way too hard on yourself and orgasm alone isn't an indication of how much actual fun your having....

orgasms are mostly about what your focused on in the head, and women are not more complex than men..... oh? do tell.

if you know how to get an orgasm, then you should be able to show someone else how to give you one or what not physically, while focusing on the buttons that really make you hot, whatever that might be....its particular ideas or experiences, etc that you found really exciting.... wait...just because I "show" someone how it's done doesn't mean he's going to be skilled enough to make it happen. There are times even under the influence of my Hitachi I don't orgasm for one reason or another...how can you possible presume that every woman should orgasm every time if she'd only "focus and do it right?"

People are born, they die, people die stupidly all the time. I think there is a website devoted to it.... is there a point here?

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 8:30:39 AM

Ayanaev717

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

orgasms are mostly about what your focused on in the head, and women are not more complex than men.....

if you know how to get an orgasm, then you should be able to show someone else how to give you one or what not physically, while focusing on the buttons that really make you hot, whatever that might be....its particular ideas or experiences, etc that you found really exciting....

I don't know why I am going to say anything about this. And sorry for going of topic. But kevin are you ok? Your thoughts are so very ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). What are you talking about?

Orgasms can be very complex for anyone and especially women. There are some women out there who have NEVER had an orgasm. For reasons that can be longlisted. There are some women who have been sexually abused and therefore find having an orgasm disgusting- especially if they had one during the abuse. Or perhaps they didn't have one, but they view intercourse or any form of foreplay as something they can't get intoo. Flashback and memories can have something to do with that. Even for men orgasms can be very complex. Ever heard of eretile dysfunction? Or simply being anxious? Or being abused as well?

I have said my peace.

Always,

Ayanaev

< Message edited by Ayanaev717 -- 7/13/2007 8:45:32 AM >

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 9:02:29 AM

cheekysmile

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thank you all so far for the replys, yes i know i was a bad girl for speeding it was at 2am and i am a safe driver it still doesnt make it any better and after getting home and a restless night and then speaking to my Mistress the next morning and my getting the essay it sure bought it all home again how stupid i was.

i realise anxiety may be the reason for this, but how do i stop it happening again....

lol i know i made another question out of this.

cheeky

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RE: new relationship...wat to do - 7/13/2007 9:22:18 AM

Trampler

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You just have to learn to relax. try deep breathing....relaxing every bone in your body.....maybe try some meditation techniques.

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