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RE: Becoming a good Master - 6/26/2005 8:31:05 PM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

I am not a Dom/Master, but you did the right thing by admitting and asking for help. I hope all goes well for the both of you.

perfection

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 6/28/2005 4:38:34 AM

Akinta

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/16/2004
Status: offline

Looks like I have some new books to read to toss in between all my Japanese studies.. hehe. Keep coming with the books if anyone has more. I'm interested in more things like the submissive's workbook, too. Thanks.

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Post #: 22

RE: Becoming a good Master - 7/1/2005 4:31:31 AM

bdsandm

Posts: 28
Joined: 2/3/2004
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5 things I always look for in a friend, relationship, etc...

Trust, Truth, Communication, Respect and Loyalty...

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 7/1/2005 8:26:01 PM

dominmd

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
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And by all means don't be afraid to take things slowly.

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Post #: 24

RE: Becoming a good Master - 7/4/2005 11:40:57 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company starting to erect a pole in front of my house. They were going to position it directly in front of my picture window.

No way, absolutely no way was I going to permit this. I gulped down my last bit of coffee and went directly to the crew supervisor and told him in no uncertain terms that I was not going to permit his crew to put that stupid electrical pole directly in front of my picture window.

He took out a map for pole locations and a right of way document and explained that it is the best location for it. I told him it is not the
best location for me and when I came home from work that day I did not want to find that pole in front of my window.

I told him I didn't give a hoot where he put it but not in front of my window. I felt pretty smug as I drove off to work because I felt I got my point across. I know darn well they are afraid to put it there now.

Ahhhh..... the feeling of power............

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 7/5/2005 5:42:06 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

I told him I didn't give a hoot where he put it but not in front of my window. I felt pretty smug as I drove off to work because I felt I got my point across. I know darn well they are afraid to put it there now.

Ahhhh..... the feeling of power............

Fear is not power. Fear eventually drives towards rebellion.

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Post #: 26

RE: Becoming a good Master - 7/5/2005 12:14:06 PM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
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M/s requires a foundation of expectations, and divison of duties, roles and responsibilities.

Unless you Are a Master with a great deal of experience in this-who is connecting with a slave who has lived in similar situations,this doesn't happen overnight. Even then,it takes time to hammer out the details so things run smoothly.

The first thing I advise you two to do, is try to get a concensus on what you expect the dynamic to do for you both. Once that is clear,work on the details of what it all breaks down to in real life. Who does what,and the consequences for screwing up-and also rewards. Be realistic,trying to go too far into "fantasy land" with this is a good way to crash and burn.

My take on M/s is that it is quite a bit like a Boss/employee relationship-only with a more romantic twist. Everything else is just personal prefferences to how you want to live together.

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 7/5/2005 8:17:38 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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I agree...One should always have response because a sub wishes to do so to please...

then again there is fear of the unknown...

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 8/4/2005 9:54:11 AM

domm4subf1970

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/31/2005
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Take Jay word, he hit it dead on.

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 8/7/2005 1:27:20 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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To Know!
To Will!
To Dare!
To Keep Silent!

To Know:
1. Knowledge of what you are doing.
2. Knowledge of what you are capable of doing properly.
3. Knowledge of what you can’t do yet.
4. Knowledge of your partner.

To Will:
1. The willpower to be self disciplined and not get carried away.
2. The will to be the best master you can be no matter how long the journey takes.
3. The will power not be rushed in you play or learning.
4. To have the willpower to keep promises.

To Dare:
1. The courage to ask questions and seek a mentor.
2. The courage to admit mistakes and rectify them.
3. The courage to ask for help when necessary.
4. The courage to stop your sub/slave from harming herself.
5. The courage not to lose your temper.
6. The courage to refuse to do anything you are not ready to do.
7. The courage to refuse to do anything which you believe is not safe.

To Keep Silent:
1. To keep silent about private matters between your sub/slave and yourself.
2. To keep silent about your achievements.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Post #: 30

RE: Becoming a good Master - 8/7/2005 1:17:22 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
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I like that, IronBear. Mind if I copy it and save it in a Notepad file on my computer?

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

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RE: Becoming a good Master - 8/7/2005 2:02:38 PM

Sir4now

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/14/2004
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I see you have gotten some very good advise. I would only add a couple things and I know some have been said.

When your thinking about doing something or having your submissive do something think what is best for the submissive, Not what is best for you. If you always put her first in your thoughts then she will learn and know that she can trust that no matter if she understands or not that you are thinking about her. You will find that when she no longer needs to think about herself then her thoughts will turn to you and making you happy.

NEVER EVER LIE. no matter what. I have never seen anything kill trust and respect faster then a lie.

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Post #: 32

RE: Becoming a good Master - 8/8/2005 11:17:51 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

I like that, IronBear. Mind if I copy it and save it in a Notepad file on my computer?

Sure thing, it'll be my pleasure Calliope.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

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Post #: 33

RE: Becoming a good Master - 8/8/2005 2:36:33 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
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Thanks.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 34