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sublimelysensual -> RE: Body image issues and BDSM (7/14/2007 9:04:54 PM)
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The thing with emotional abuse (ie, being told you're fat, lazy, a bitch, whatever the case may be), is that after being told that enough times, you start to believe it about yourself, even while in the back of your mind, a little voice is saying.."you know he/she is just saying that to get to you". It's something I've definitely struggled with after being in a bad marriage, and something I'm sure a lot of others have struggled with as well. Mentally, I've come a million miles from where I was right after I left, but there will always be that small part of me that's apprehensive right after sending out a pic. The difference is, now if someone isn't attracted, I think, "okay, their loss" and not "if they think I'm ugly/fat/*insert term here*, then I must be that thing. Instead of focusing on what you don't have to offer..ie, a size 6 body, perky breasts, think about what you do have to offer.
As to the lifestyle, when I walked into my first munche, my jaw dropped, because of seeing so many other women like me. I do think people involved tend to be more accepting, as it's been my personal experience. As to whether they're snickering behind my back..well..I don't give a sh*t, to put it bluntly, lol. And while I will happily go nekkie and free at a play party or dungeon, for the most part in that situation, I know the people that matter are going to see the beauty of my submission, or my intellect, or my sense of humor, regardless of whether they see beauty in my nudity, and if nothing else, I think inner beauty tends to influence the way someone sees outward appearance.
- just as a sidebar since I can't post a piccie, I'm 5'8, and weigh 225...-
-a
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