Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (Full Version)

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MissSCD -> Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 6:09:10 PM)

Greetings to one and A/all:

I am curious to see how you all deal with stress as it effects your individual lives and your BDSM relationship.
For example:  I have a slave, and I have been over to his home this weekend, and I do not want to do anything lifestyle related.  This has happened to me before when  I am tired or under a lot of stress.
He is very understanding, and notices that I am just plain tired and need to go home and rest.
How do you all handle stress in your relationship?

Regards, MissSCD



Rover -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 6:15:53 PM)

Everyone responds to stress differently, and has different ways of achieving stress relief.  What works for me is excersize; both physical exercise and the exercise of my control in a relationship in ways that are particularly rewarding to me personally. 
 
John



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 6:19:12 PM)

Angel and I battle stress in one form or another every time we are together.  For him, he likes to fall completely into his "character" and forget all about being an adult for a while. For me, every now and again, I dont want to be in charge and making decisions, I just want to relax and have fun playing a game, or even watching a movie or snuggling.  The thing is, I am always Mommy, and he is always Angel. No matter what we go through, and if one or the other cant get into or stay in our respective space... there is always another day.

DV



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 6:23:40 PM)

I have found ripping someones head off and shitting down their neck is a good stress reliever...LMAO......sorry, just kidding...although i may FEEL like doing that....i normally just cry...LOL



zindyslave -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 6:44:34 PM)

That might be a difficult one to answer but I try to decompress when I get like that either by just talking about what is stressing me out or if it is really bad I will write about it and get my feelings out. Now if the stress has built up really bad I will usually end up crying...but that is when it gets built up over a period of time.. 



mstrjx -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 7:10:21 PM)

I think it is altogether healthy to play 'through' stress in order to relieve it.  I used to have a particular job where I would build up a lot of stress just doing the job.  What I 'really' wanted was to 'take' a good beating.  However, being the dominant in the relationship, all I could do was to 'give' a good beating.  Almost the same, right?

Jeff



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 7:16:26 PM)

Luckily my life isn't defined by what I do.  A person is still a master/slave couple even if they stay on the couch all day in their jammies watching tv and reading the paper.

I think people feel problems only when they try and make it about what they DO, and when life inevitably interferes, they feel lost.

Make your relationship about who you ARE together.



Lewcifer -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/14/2007 11:37:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Luckily my life isn't defined by what I do.  A person is still a master/slave couple even if they stay on the couch all day in their jammies watching tv and reading the paper.  I think people feel problems only when they try and make it about what they DO, and when life inevitably interferes, they feel lost.  Make your relationship about who you ARE together.


Bingo!  I think this hit the nail on the head.




MissSCD -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/15/2007 7:23:29 AM)

These answers are all good.  I appreciate your input.
I went to sleep earlier last night and just woke up.  I feel a lot more rested.
I am not a spring chicken anymore.   I cannot run around all weekend without resting.  I think that is all it was.

Regards, MissSCD



daddysliloneds -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/15/2007 12:31:29 PM)

i suppose i'm really lucky because when i'm stressed out, there's nothing better than a good beat and fuck session to mellow me right out, and since i couple up with sadists in my relationships, when they're stressed, they just need to beat and fuck me to mellow right out[:)]



robertolapiedra -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/15/2007 1:32:20 PM)

Hello MissSCD. I work in a stressfull environment. Most of the time I do not bring this home, but there has been "exceptions". I find keeping yourself occupied with stuff you enjoy + humor inviting attitude does the job.

When you have humor in your life, it is like building  up your antistress immunology. RL.



Elorin -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/15/2007 3:22:05 PM)

When I am too stressed out I have said I need to take a break from domination. My sub was understanding and spent time with me just hanging out, without any elaborate scening, training, or D/s dynamics.

With M, when he's stressed out the D/s protocols slip, but I tend to be more attentive submissively and indulge him with massages, foot rubs, scrubbing him in the shower, etc.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/15/2007 6:00:15 PM)

Stress.  Wow, I could say a thing or two about stress, lol.  This entire past year has been one major life stress after another.  How I deal with stress, however, is to simply deal with it.  Each issue in its place, to be addressed when appropriate.  My Master taught me to deal with stress first by not tolerating the dramatics I used to apply to it. I have been taught to calmly and logically take a look at what is troubling me and why, and to either figure out a solution to it, to ask him for help, or to figure out a way of coping if no solution can currently be found.  I turn to him in times of stress just as I turn to him in times of peace and normalcy.  Because submitting to him as deeply as I can is being as true as I can to myself, I can not fathom not doing that, during those times when I need him the most. I can attest that having just spent a long weekend out of town with him and fulfilling his every whim while on the heels of some rather distressful news, I can think of nothing that would bring me to my center the way serving him did.



aparootsa -> RE: Stress and the BDSM Relationship! (7/15/2007 7:08:10 PM)

My relationships tend not to be defined by or anchored around D/s, so stress isn't usually handled strictly in a D/s setting. As far as stress's impact (heh heh) on our D/s interaction, it really depends on what type of stress. If one of us is low on sleep or sick or that type of thing, it's usually handled with TLC, extra rest, cuddles, etc.; if it's not an energy or judgement-draining thing, it usually has no bearing - we play when we play, and a lot of times it's cathartic. Either way, we generally respond to stress by being us, only more so...

best,
aparotosa



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