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when did u know it was over - 7/15/2007 5:47:01 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		ok- seems- if he did not answere the door- smoke and lights on. phone line busy. that he is not interested.

ouch
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/15/2007 7:22:41 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
I am fairly open and up front about my feelings.  What I have found in any number of relationships is the person I am with either does not listen to my expressing them, or chooses to assume that I will never end it.

But there comes a time where I realize that I am putting far more into the relationship than I am taking away from it, and when it becomes obvious that no matter how many different ways I endeavor to explain this, the person I am with does not hear me.

I tried to get my former marraige to work for almost 3 years.  I eventually gave up, worked things out, told my kids I was leaving, and moved out the next day.

I knew it was over one day when I was hiking and wondered what she would find to scream at me about when I got home from the hike, and I thought about the hundreds of women who had said they would wonder why her ex-husband/boyfriend was going to beat her for when she got home. 

For me it was an epiphany, a realization that it would not ever work which broke upon my consciousness like a thunderclap.

And then I was gone.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/15/2007 7:31:53 PM   
Lothlauren


Posts: 123
Joined: 11/1/2006
From: The secret places deep in the earth
Status: offline 		When I enjoyed going to work more than staying home.

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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/15/2007 8:03:44 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		      The last time I had to decide something was over, it happened when I came to understand that while I was trying to help someone become better, she was doing a pretty good job of making me worse.

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If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/15/2007 8:59:24 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		When he  posted a pic of me on a cam site photo contest and Hubby saw it.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/15/2007 9:08:31 PM   
jayded34


Posts: 293
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		when he came over here and i asked him what he had been up to.....he said..."living and lovin" and when i said "oh who are you lovin? cuz its not me." he said.......Laura......

yup thats pretty much when i knew it

_____________________________

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 3:15:52 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		You realize you are over a relationship when you would rather be
 
#A - at work
#B - with your friends
#C - alone
 
than spend any amount of time with your significant other(s).

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 3:29:38 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Hello Vendaval
 
I wanted to give an alternative POV.
When I am working, especially when I am in a flow, I would rather be 'at work' and usually alone because the distraction can do too many things and destroy my work in the process.  I know when Darcy has an idea for his book, or is mixing for his website or a DJ set, then he needs and wants and would rather be working.  And I am also a big believer in people needing 'alone' time to just chill as well.  So I guess I am trying to say that although I do see the point you are making, I personally would add a caveat of - if the it is the majority of the time.
 
Personally, I know it is over when the communication stops.  When I can't be bothered to talk and it feels I am wasting my time.  And visa versa.  If I/we am still communicating, it means I still believe.
 
Peace
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 3:35:05 AM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		Well I like to be honest so I knew it was over when my partner wouldnt let me keep telling her what to do, When she didnt say "how high" when I asked her to jump When she complained when I wouldnt let her go out to work. Likewise when I would never take her out even tho' I liked to go out by myself just for a break , I always said she could watch TV while I was out...and I always came home didnt I ?

Women!!!!! she claims I am unreasonable. Can you believe that ?

(in reply to Vendaval)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 3:42:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		LOL.

well- im sorta mad- i thought i dumped HIM- but it seems he dumped ME.

everything else in town is all picked out

(in reply to seeksfemslave)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 5:58:25 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm.... wasn't there an episode of Friends that addressed the issue of how to get in fast and dump someone if you thought they were about to dump you?

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(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 10:19:16 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		smoke and lights on?  What is smoke?

Also I agree with the person who said you'd rather be at work or alone.  Just essentially
anywhere but with the person you are with.  That is when it is over.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 10:26:33 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

LOL.

well- im sorta mad- i thought i dumped HIM- but it seems he dumped ME.

everything else in town is all picked out



LOL! The nerve of that loser!!! Doesn't he realize that you're the one too good for *him*, not the other way around! ;)

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/16/2007 1:11:12 PM   
alivingdoll


Posts: 57
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		when he call's from a "business trip" tell's you" hey  you need to get the F out  before I get home "
   Later you get your credit card statement and find that you paid for his time spent with your replacement .
                                                                 ~~~~Doll~~~~
                                                          

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/17/2007 3:32:37 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		after 20 years i knew it was over when as a wiccan that abhors killing i was more than ready to plunge my Bowie knife into him till the cops came.
i had just come home from work tired and hurting . he was drunk again and punched a hole in the bedroom door. luckily for him the cops got there in time.
his replacement was the dreamy hunk maintance man that fixed the door.

i'm not bad , i'm just drawn that way.- Jessica Rabbit

(in reply to alivingdoll)
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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/17/2007 3:35:07 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Wiccan with a Bowie knife..gotta love it!

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RE: when did u know it was over - 7/17/2007 6:10:02 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
I was just reading my post about my former marraige and realized I put in 3 years when I should have said almost 18 years.

Makes a bit more sense talking to my kids if they are not toddlers.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: when did u know it was over - 7/17/2007 11:09:46 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Your point about needing alone time, especially for creative expression, is very important, dark.  Once your faith and belief in the person(s) is gone and you loose all desire for further communication, it is time to move along.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: when did u know it was over - 7/17/2007 11:14:17 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		(hands Sinergy a cold brew) 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: when did u know it was over - 7/17/2007 11:24:22 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		When she said goodbye and the other said "I owe you nothing.' and the other said you can stay in my studio if you want. That seemed like a good idea at the time and was, for at least six months anyway.

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There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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