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LeatherBentOne -> RE: romantic love lasts 18 months (7/17/2007 5:22:47 AM)
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Romance, love and lust has its ebbs and flows in all relationships, some being more significant and intense than others, some being barely noticeable and mysteriously subtle. Like BDSM, I think romance, love and lust are a process of transitions from one stage to another, almost effortlessly.
Sometimes, we are in a romantic mood, falling in love with our partner over and over again when we recognise something new and delightful about them that we've never seen or realised before. We ressurect our lust for ou partner based on our new revelation and the love we have for them, as if the relationship has come full circle, and now we're starting all over again.
The same ebbs and flows are present in BDSM. Sometimes, when we are in a conducive D/s head space, we fantasize about the exchanges we've had in the past, and illicite creative fantsies of new and different exchanges, based on the response that our partner has given us in the past. We picture this scenerio coming to life through play, whether or not we prefer to exhibit our lust through a power exchange, S/m and/or some combination thereof based on our new-found fantasy. We then come full circle by acting out our desires, needs and wants, accordingly.
There are times when we romance, love and lust more or less depending on our life circumstances at any given moment in time. Sometimes, it's a day, week, month or perhaps years when the well seems all but dry. That's when loyalty, commitment, patience, respect and maturity kick in . . . until the process starts all over, again.
Firsty, perhaps the cycle of ebbs and flows lasts anywhere from 6-18 months based on research, but we would be relying on people to be self aware, able to focus, pinpoint their emotions and express their feelings, accuratey. In my opinion, these folks are hard to find in all reality.
Secondly, romance, love and lust are subjective emotions regardless of what the chemicals in our body are telling us, including that amounts and reactions from these chemicals vary from one individual to another.
Thirdly, I'm wondering if the researchers have ever done long-term studies, following the same people over an extended period of time to determine if the 6-18 month theory is not only scientifically valid, but also reliable. That is, can the results be replicated, not just by interviewing new participants each time, but the same couples every 6-18 months to see if this theory is cyclical.
Fourthly, there is a consensus among many medical scientists and laymen that psychological research is "junk science," perhaps because scientific proof may show its validity but lacks reliablitity, which are the two components of what is called the scientific method.
Finally, psychology is referred to an art in some professional arenas, rather than a science based on the criteria of the scientific method (validity and reliablity), and is therefore open to interpretation.
Just some food for thought.
LBO
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