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Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 12:33:40 AM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

If a girl is so devoted to her Master that she will fight to remain His, though He hurts her over and over, is her loyalty to Him misplaced? Should she give up the fight and move on or should she keep on trying until He finally releases her?

i realize i have not given the full story, but it is basically just that...the girl is devoted to her Master, she loves Him and has done her best to grow while in His service. she has stayed true to Him through thick and thin, though He has hurt her a few times. she hurt Him once with something she said, not meaning to hurt Him, but meaning to try to open His eyes to the pain she was feeling, and now He tells her that the wound from that hurt she gave Him will not heal. The wounds He has given her were severe yet they have healed...her trust in Him restored...

This time she finally gave Him a choice to tell her He no longer wants her and said she will give up the fight if He tells her that, but He told her He wants her but just cannot keep her.

Is the girl's loyalty misplaced? Should she just give up? Should she keep fighting to remain His?

Thank you.

Well wishes

-santalia{JR}
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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 12:52:48 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I can only tell you my rule of thumb - the promise I gave when we first began.

I said, "I know who I am. I know who I belong to. I willingly submit and I'll stay until you tell me to go."

That's been my criteria throughout the years.

If our positions were reversed and I was in your shoes, I'd be horribly sad but I'd honor my committment. I'd stay until he told me to go.

From what you've described, he's told you to go.

I'm so sorry.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/17/2007 12:54:05 AM >

(in reply to santalia)
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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 1:29:50 AM   
hannahmay


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: offline 		Im really sorry you are hurting santalia, i hate to be so straight but i cant help thinking about the old saying, He is having his cake and eating it, i think He is unsure and keeping you dangling, personally i cant stand mind games, it only wears you down in the end and its hard to get a healthy relationship back after that.
i hope you find some peace and work things out.
best wishes hugs
hm

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 5:38:22 AM   
SlND3R3LLA


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		Hun, it seems he has let go, it's you that's having the problem moving on.  I don't mean that rude, but you are just hurting yourself and making it harder.  If you keep trying to please and hold onto someone that doesn't want you, you are only cheating yourself out of being happy.  I don't know what happened, I don't need to know, but it looks like the something happened that damaged the dynamic beyond repair.  That doesn't mean it is your fault, or his..I don't have the whole story.  What matters is finding a way to move on with your life and not let the past keep dragging you back again.  You can have all of the trust, commitment, and faith in him in the world... if he doesn't want it, or can't give it back, it's of no use anymore.
 
My best advice, find a good friend and cry on her shoulder, get some ben&jerry's, watch some sad movies, then pick yourself back up and find someone that will appreciate you and what you have to offer.
 
~Sin

_____________________________

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 5:55:33 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		If he said he cannot keep you, it was probably his way of letting you down easy. The whole "it's not you, it's me" thing. I'm so sorry but from what we can see it looks like you would be best moving on. Fighting to belong to someone who just doesn't want to own you and hurts you is just going to keep hurting you worse and worse. I wish you all the best.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 6:13:55 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		 When a relationship is over and cannot be saved it is best sometimes to let it go. He has already let you go as others have said. He just hasn't said that he released you. Realizing the end of a relationship is very hard and painful. Staying somewhere that you get hurt all the time isn't healthy for either one of you. I am sorry you are going through this and wish the best for you.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 7:13:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just because he isn't strong enough to end it, doesn't mean it's not ended.  It's not your fight to remain his- it's your decision whether you want to keep pretending to be with someone who doesn't.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 7:35:40 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		In my opinion a slave always has one choice: to obey or not. In the end, what has to be decided is if the relationship is fulfilling. My mother's advice (I really should have a macro key for this): Ask yourself two questions: Would you miss him if he were gone? Is being in the relationship healthy for you? If the answer to either is no, you really need to reevaluate the relationship. If he's not reaffirming your positive sense of self worth and making sure you feel an even barter rather than a sell out, there's trouble in the relationship.

Some people stay in an unfulfilling relationship because of a comfort zone. We stay in hell because we know all the street names. Some people stay because they feel they made a promise, but, remember, you made that promise with the assumption of many things, one of which was a return of something positive from your partner. Some people stay out of fear; fear of being empowered, self reliant and successful is just as likely as fear of failure. And, speaking of, some people stay because to leave would make them feel like a failure. However, I feel that being true to yourself is never an indication of failure. If you stay in a negative situation for any of these reasons, you're doing yourself a huge disservice.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 8:03:01 AM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline 		*hugs*

You know the  truth in your heart, whatever that is.  Sometimes letting go takes time, if that is truely where you are headed, be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself in this. 

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 9:13:01 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Your Master has already said he cannot keep you therefore it is time to move on. Painful as that sounds it will get easier to cope with over time. Just take the time to allow yourself to heal before getting involved with anyone else.

Good Luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 10:40:17 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am so sorry this happened to you.  He has basically said the relationship is over.  It is time to move on.  If you fought it wouold be fighting a losing battle. .

Matt's littleone

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 10:50:37 AM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

Thank you all for your words of advice. i did take it...i begged release this morning. He released me without hesitating.

Perhaps my loyalty was misplaced...i don't know.

i do know that i served Him to the best of my ability for 8 months, striving to learn all i could to better please Him.

And now, i am at an impasse...i don't know which way is up. The world is turned upside down. It will likely all be well after a while...but right now all there is, is pain...

Thank you again, everyone. i wish you well

-santalia

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RE: Misplaced Loyalty? - 7/17/2007 8:37:03 PM   
octavia


Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: santalia

Greetings

Thank you all for your words of advice. i did take it...i begged release this morning. He released me without hesitating.

Perhaps my loyalty was misplaced...i don't know.

i do know that i served Him to the best of my ability for 8 months, striving to learn all i could to better please Him.

And now, i am at an impasse...i don't know which way is up. The world is turned upside down. It will likely all be well after a while...but right now all there is, is pain...

Thank you again, everyone. i wish you well

-santalia



Just remember that feelings are temporary, the pain will lessen with time. 
*hugs*
oct

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