Agressive Dom

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angelsub642 -> Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:11:50 PM)
Hello to all, i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window. i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:16:00 PM)
There is never a garantee that someone will stop when told to, no matter their assurances. Yes, having him over right after meeting was your fault. He should still have respected your wishes, but in our world and in the vanilla one we know that isnt always going to be the case. And I hate to break it to you, but the aggressive sexual behavior isnt limited to Doms, nor is it limited to males. There is no way to tell how someone wil act, which is why you have to get to know them before putting yourself in a situation where they can do something stupid. If they really want to get laid, they will know just what to say to get you alone right away. However for the most part those in it for a "quick" score arent going ot take the time to get to know you and spend more than a time or two with you before there is even a chance at intimacy. My 2 cents DV

kittensmailbox -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:18:01 PM)
i am sorry that you had to deal with such a booger... You were very lucky that nothing more happened... A safety called should have been arranged with a friend before even going to meet this guy.... There all kinds out there

MaamJay -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:18:50 PM)
What DV said! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

angelsub642 -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:21:59 PM)
Thank you to both, we did talk online for a few weeks and both felt comfortable but why i was soo naive i don't know. And yes i did im him that same night, after he left, and told him off. Told him that it wasn't right when i told him no several times and to not contact me. He hasn't yet. From now on i will take both of your advice, talk to someone for probably at least a month now before meeting, and to continue meeting in a public place and to never go back to my place or his. So ty again to both for your input.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:22:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelsub642 Hello to all, i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window. i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told? Some Dominants are trolling..some are not..how to tell difference? You cannot..but you can proceed more cautiously..It is no different than any other meet in this world..Dominants are men and they are human they are good and they are bad some have a clue some do not..Bringing first meet to home in any context not a good idea..unless you wish for what you received...he saw it as an invitation to become an aggressor.He did not stop his pushing and you kicked him out..be glad that he was cooperative in being kicked out...getting to know someone takes a bit of time....so take, YOUR time...Tempting

onlineheartbeats -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:23:37 PM)
I don't think there is any real way to tell , other than gut instinct. However,and I'm not being judgemental, maybe in the future you should meet a few times--coffee,dinner, coffee--before inviting him to your home. Yes I know, easier to say in hindsight.. Thank goodness you are okay and he left when you kiced him out.

slaveluci -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:34:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelsub642 Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? No, ya think?[8\|] I would suggest to you very sincerely that you use a bit more caution. You meet someone for coffee (and I'm assuming here you mean meet for the first time) and invite him right back to your apartment. I can't imagine that he would then try anything (insert eye roll here). For every so-called dom who trolls around here luring females as you say, there's at least one female who gets suckered in. Why do you think they keep doing these things if they never work. Wise up, look out for yourself, and don't trust so easily. At least he did stop. There are those who would not have and you could have wound up in very serious danger. Stop it!...............luci

twistedwillow -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:40:24 PM)
tempting said it perfectly. angel i'm glad that you came out of it ok, it could have been a lot worse. dea

Lordandmaster -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 8:59:43 PM)
Umm like did you have a safeword? quote: ORIGINAL: angelsub642 i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window. i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told?

HardnRuff -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:04:06 PM)
this is why safe calls are important . a Trus Dom always stops when asked to as thats when it becose abuse if it becomes non consentual .

mstrjx -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:05:55 PM)
Time is not a factor. I can't tell you how many times I've been met the same day as the first contact. You need to get a better grip (apparently) on whom you're speaking with. Judging them for who they are, not what they say. Without looking up your profile, I'm guessing you've only had the one prior D/s relationship. I don't know how picky you were then, or how much so you have before meeting this person. You can imagine for every genuine, responsible person you might find here there are dozens of 'others'. But there are some good ones. Make sure the next one is worthy of you. Jeff

SexyRed -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:05:58 PM)
People will always take it as an invitation if you invite them home. Not one time has that not been proved out. So the answer is: don't invite anyone over unless you are prepared for them to come on to you. It is simple really, public place meetings till you feel comfortable.

Aileen68 -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:06:40 PM)
Just out of curiosity...how would a safecall had helped if he decided to not stop?

LadyHeart -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Just out of curiosity...how would a safecall had helped if he decided to not stop? It wouldn't have. Most safecalls are about as useful as a so-called "protection order" - and how many women have been murdered with one of those in their hands? It is actually good advice to meet at the Dominant's house. That way, you have an address, and you can walk out (if you're not tied up!). You can then have the kind of safecall in place where they ring the cops if you don't phone them at set time intervals, or answer your phone if they call you, or give the agreed code word. :)) LH

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:27:38 PM)
Replace the word dom with "person" Trust me, it will help you. Doms are people l ike everyone else, good and bad.

domiguy -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:29:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Umm like did you have a safeword? quote: ORIGINAL: angelsub642 i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window. i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told? quote: Aiuleen68 Just out of curiosity...how would a safecall had helped if he decided to not stop? With the advancements in the forensic sciences coroners can now determine whether the deceased had a safe call in place as well as the exact amount of times the safeword was utilized prior to her death....It's all rather amazing and I would have to use really big words to explain all of what we scientist call "technical crud" in order for you all to understand the process. I cannot recall how many times when the deceased's family has arrived at the morgue I have heard them say, "she might be dead...But at least she had a safe call in place." It gives them comfort and closure....I overheard one couple as they were staring at the remains of their daughter whisper, "What was her safeword?"...Then they both simultaneously mouthed the word "rutabaga"...It was one of the most touching moments I have ever experienced.

solitudesmiles -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:35:55 PM)
this is a very common thread unfortanty, i just some qustions for you. what the hell were you thinking..? but i can very easily answer that for you, you wernt thinking at all. takeing this leftstyle aside, what was it that made you think that after only chatting with someone for a few weeks and then meeting them for coffee made you feel you trust them enough to bring into your home.? and why is it that in many cases like this people loose rational thought? do you have the impression that you are safer in this world than the vannila world? and in my eyes by doing what you did was sending them a big red flag saying "take me i'm easy" just my thougths i doubt that you will like any of them

NefertariReborn -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:43:08 PM)
Don't lie! You do stand up comedy on the side don't you?

angelsub642 -> RE: Agressive Dom (7/17/2007 9:49:22 PM)
Yes i did, used it and Stop together

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