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AAkasha -> RE: Advice... (7/19/2007 10:44:04 AM)
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I started dominating men over the phone a long time ago, for my own amusement, and enjoyed it so much that I did some time as a "phone dominatrix" and did really well with it. My only caveat was that I had to make my own schedule, work from home and change my hours on the fly, because there was no way in hell I was going to do it if I was not in the mood. I just don't "fake" it -- so I might not be able to help with the "actress" part, since I wasn't acting.
I also got very good at screening quickly and telling a caller up front, "Look, this isn't going to work for me," so I could screen out topics/fantasies that did not interest me. There's no amount of money you could pay me to sit there and pretend to be into something I am not.
Phone domination works for me because I get off on sounds, voices, accents, breathing. I love nervousness, and I get butterflies in my femdom tummy when I hear a guy who is vulnerable and nervous on the other end of the line. I had the benefit of using my web site as a screener, so the men that called me knew who I was and generally were already nervous; I think being a random femdom on a call line would be awful, because the guys would be definitely in "dial a dom" mode, and just want what they want -- not want to SUBMIT.
I didn't let my "clients" run the show. I did what I liked to do. You said you have done it in real life and enjoyed it; it's the same basic thing. Only difference is you gotta make THEM do to themselves what you would be doing to them. My kink is vulnerability and fear; so I got really good at listening to changes in breathing, subtle voice changes, since I could not read body language or eyes. I would find out where their triggers were, and then peel them like an onion, breaking them down and really getting off on it. It's like hitting the goldmine when you feel as though you've cracked their shell, so to speak, and they went from a fairly confident guy to a vulnerable, shivering blob on the phone, ready to do anything.
I knew it was a good call if I was wet and enjoying myself and not paying attention to the time, and I got good at identifying if it would work in the first 3 minutes. Don't be fooled into thinking that being a "dominant" on the phone means they do all the talking; you will be running the entire thing, and doing 80% of the directing and talking, so know what you want out of the guy (besides his money) and what it will take to honestly get you off.
The nice thing about the phone, for someone like me who is super keen on being "attracted" to someone, is there are very few barriers to chemistry. No worries about appearance, hygeine, smell of their breath. A man's voice can be incredibly SEXY and that's all it took for me -- give me a little accent and I am in heaven. Even subtle accents. Different dialects. You name it. I closed my eyes and they were all incredibly hot to me, and that's all that mattered to get my juices flowing and make me want to force them to surrender to my lust and my ideas.
All this talk about it makes me actually miss it!
Akasha
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