RE: Junior "dommes" (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/22/2007 10:06:52 AM)



I was a pretty sophisticated femdom in a lot of ways when I was 18 - 22.  I had been dominating men for a few years already, and while my experience with "toys" and gear was still on the limited side, I had a really good foundation. But the most important thing was that my desire to dominate was completely authentic. At that time I was still dominating totally clueless vanilla guys, so it was up to me to seduce them and introduce the idea to them.  All done very carefully, very calculated, and in a way that made it clear that just because I was kinkny didn't mean they were going to get LAID.

When I found the BDSM "scene" online it did seem like some of the older kinky people didn't take me as seriously, even in my mid 20s.  When I went to events, though, all the male subs who were older certainly were interested enough, but it felt that they were interested in any femdom because the ratios were so bad for them.  I still didn't connect with men in their 30s or 40s at that age - ever - because it just seemed to weird/creepy and there was no attraction.  I stuck to goth/industrial dance clubs in my 20s to find boytoys and play partners.

Wow, come to think of it, I have never dated a man over the age of 30!

Akasha



MistresssAria -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/22/2007 2:49:41 PM)

I'm 23 years old and PREFER submissives who are about twice my age.  I find it more satisfying to have control over someone with that sort of age difference.  I feel that I've have enough life experience/mentors/self-studying/subbing/etc., and most importantly a love for Domination and happy submissives to be able to do this.  I won't say that I know everything, or am an expert in anything, or am trying to just make quick money because god knows that's a great way to lose subs and it doesn't tend to work out as expected.  But we all had to start somewhere.  If asked, I'll go over my knowledge in different areas.....some I've been doing for years, but hand me some bondage rope and I'm tossing that confusing stuff to the side and grabbing my chains ;)



PairOfDimes -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/22/2007 5:54:30 PM)

I don't think most people in their late teens or early twenties ought to be running another's life--most don't seem very responsible, honestly, although there are exceptions, just as there are young adults who are sufficiently emotionally mature to be good spouses. But I'm entirely okay with the idea of the average nineteen-year-old tying their boyfriend or girlfriend up and doing some spanking, (or, you know, whatever sensation play you want--spanking and bondage aren't special) and with doing d/s roleplay in scenes, and even what I think of as "fun control" outside of scenes (i.e. directing one's partner to wear particular undergarments).



aidan -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/22/2007 10:51:17 PM)

Yeah, I think a full D/s "Master and slave" relationship between two late teens/early twenties would end...badly. Like getting married, you're taking on a huge responsiblity, and most likely too quickly. With school/work/whatever to focus on too, it's probably a bad idea to dive that deep into the pool.



aidan -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/22/2007 11:10:35 PM)

Arrgh, double-post. [:'(]



undergroundsea -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/23/2007 2:58:24 AM)

I agree that maturity and sensibility usually increase with age. That said, I have seen enough mature and sensible young folks (subs and dommes) both in the forums (in this thread for that matter) and in person to not draw conclusions with the age alone. It is the remainder of the interaction or profile that leads me to think one way or the other.

Cheers,

Sea



ade59 -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/30/2007 2:07:59 PM)

nothing makes me horny like a young domme, especially one who isnt all about money!



NovelApproach -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/30/2007 3:40:57 PM)

I'd like to step forward in defence of my age-group as well.  I realize that there are a lot of people my age who are immature and unready for the kinds of responsibility it takes to be a good dominant.   However, I know people over the age of thirty who are just as immature, and I've met teenagers as mature and self-aware as the average adult. 

I'm not here on CM to play games or make money, and I'm not looking for wankers to boost my ego.  I've known who I am and what I want since I was sixteen. Now, I'm a bit over twenty, and my sub is two years older than me.  I feel confident in my dominance, and would like to think that I'm doing a good job as Kitty's Mistress.  I'm aware that I still have a lot to learn, and that I'm not mature enough to handle, say... a 24/7 M/s relationship, but I do feel that I could competently handle an older, more experienced sub in a scene if the situation presented itself.



bschwimmer -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/31/2007 7:58:12 AM)

i dont loike dommes younger than my daughter  big turn off . i like my dommes between 35 nd 75



iammachine -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/31/2007 7:03:27 PM)

I think the reason you are seeing many "new members" in that age bracket is multifold.

For one, from 18-22 people are learning a lot about themselves, about life, and about their preferences. They're curious and generally don't have many of the inhibititions that older people may have about experimenting (both a positive and negative aspect).

In the day and age of the interweb and fairly sexy media, more people are being exposed to the idea of kink, and are able to find resources to go about pursuing it more readily. This includes younger people.

And, of course, as has been said, many are opportunistic. They might be young and pretty and have become aware that there a lot of men on the internet that are willing to go to great lengths to interact with a pretty girl. Long before I had fully come to understand my role in the lifestyle, hell long before I was even legal, I got many a random soliciations from men online via chat rooms. I knew the potential for capitalizing on that, though I never had the inclination. Others clearly do.

In another vein of opportunism: wankers. The amount of attention a female that gives the impression of actively seeking anything is downright maddening. Pose as a young woman, you'll have more attention than you know what to do with in rather short order, and a good number of primarily men that will play right along with the fantasy.

As a woman that's barely outside of the aforementioned age bracket, I'd like to think that we're not inherantly clueless. Just because someone is novice doesn't mean that they are clueless. Surely, if they found their way here, its a pretty good indication that they're making some strides in educating themselves one way or another. No one is born the perfect Domme or the perfect sub, these are things we learn.



aidan -> RE: Junior "dommes" (7/31/2007 8:11:44 PM)

I don't mean to make a blanket statement about all the young'uns. It's just that I think a handful of shining examples - and we're out there, I know, I am one (can you hear the horn tooting?) - does not negate that most of us are twits, I think. I hate to sound harsh, but it's only because I care. Shallow, narcisstic, stupid teens grow into shallw, narccistic, stupid adults.



bschwimmer -> RE: Junior "dommes" (8/1/2007 5:36:26 AM)

true I started visiting the s/m clubs in NY @ 17 God I miss the Hellfire club and Paddles



iammachine -> RE: Junior "dommes" (8/1/2007 12:33:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

I don't mean to make a blanket statement about all the young'uns. It's just that I think a handful of shining examples - and we're out there, I know, I am one (can you hear the horn tooting?) - does not negate that most of us are twits, I think. I hate to sound harsh, but it's only because I care. Shallow, narcisstic, stupid teens grow into shallw, narccistic, stupid adults.



I'm of the opinion, that many people, regardless of age, experience, or lack therefore: make for fantastic asshats.

As such, I am free to assume, since the majority of the populace is probably going to disappoint regardless, that I can judge everyone as an individual, without prejudice. ;)

I'm an equal opportunity misanthrope.



aidan -> RE: Junior "dommes" (8/1/2007 12:40:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

I don't mean to make a blanket statement about all the young'uns. It's just that I think a handful of shining examples - and we're out there, I know, I am one (can you hear the horn tooting?) - does not negate that most of us are twits, I think. I hate to sound harsh, but it's only because I care. Shallow, narcisstic, stupid teens grow into shallw, narccistic, stupid adults.



I'm of the opinion, that many people, regardless of age, experience, or lack therefore: make for fantastic asshats.

As such, I am free to assume, since the majority of the populace is probably going to disappoint regardless, that I can judge everyone as an individual, without prejudice. ;)

I'm an equal opportunity misanthrope.

"Is it really bigotry if you don't like everyone?" ;)

I'm in total agreement with that statement, I was just focusing specifically on the topic of younger people.

To quote Dr. Cox: "People are bastards. Their bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling."

I hope I can grow up to be just as cynical and scary and Irish someday. :D



iammachine -> RE: Junior "dommes" (8/1/2007 1:33:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

I don't mean to make a blanket statement about all the young'uns. It's just that I think a handful of shining examples - and we're out there, I know, I am one (can you hear the horn tooting?) - does not negate that most of us are twits, I think. I hate to sound harsh, but it's only because I care. Shallow, narcisstic, stupid teens grow into shallw, narccistic, stupid adults.



I'm of the opinion, that many people, regardless of age, experience, or lack therefore: make for fantastic asshats.

As such, I am free to assume, since the majority of the populace is probably going to disappoint regardless, that I can judge everyone as an individual, without prejudice. ;)

I'm an equal opportunity misanthrope.

"Is it really bigotry if you don't like everyone?" ;)

I'm in total agreement with that statement, I was just focusing specifically on the topic of younger people.

To quote Dr. Cox: "People are bastards. Their bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling."

I hope I can grow up to be just as cynical and scary and Irish someday. :D



I'm half irish, does that mean I'm halfway there?

... The other half is colombian, does that mean I get there at lightspeed? :P



undergroundsea -> RE: Junior "dommes" (8/1/2007 6:57:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine
I think the reason you are seeing many "new members" in that age bracket is multifold.


I agree. I think one fundamental reason we see more diversity with respect to age in the BDSM communities today is that the threshhold to overcome to engage in BDSM with others is lower today than it was in times past. BDSM is not as taboo as it was in the past. The social stigma or inner conflict to resolve within self is not as great as it might have been in the past. Also, the internet makes it easier to find BDSM communities. Before the internet was around, the amount of effort needed to find BDSM communities was much greater. How much energy one is willing to expend towards BDSM is related to where BDSM lies in one's social priorities. For most people, BDSM interests start to invite greater importance within one's social priorities with age and time.

My two cents.

Cheers,

Sea



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