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collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/23/2005 10:54:17 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		I am close to being collared, i think anyway, the hints are coming thick and fast.
Ive to achieve a task by the end of the week as a motivator, he will then be considering it.
My task it to remember his title of Sir. I actually forget to use this address on several occasions, referring to him by His name instead. If the vanilla world would piss off so i didnt have to swap so much, it might be easier, but that's not going to happen.
Any tips on how i might remember? I dont forget the D/s dynamic, its the title.

Its been 9 months now, and im still forgetting and trying his patience
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/24/2005 4:29:23 AM   
sanita


Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		with my former Master, i was to call Him Sir with almost every sentence. He was former military, so that is how He compared it. it was almost to the point of "Sir, yes Sir!" any sentence could start with Sir, and end with it.

it was to the point where His given name felt funny to say.

we were watching Letterman one night, and there was a top 10 on ways the military has relaxed to try to get more people to enlist. one of them was now that soldiers could address their superiors as "Dude" instead of Sir.

the next day, i sent Him an email from work, and called Him "Dude." He got it.

in public, or while i was at work, i would call Him Dude, and it worked for me to not have to switch back and forth as much.

you might ask if you can call Him something that, to you, would mean "Sir," in outside situations where "Sir" might be problematic.

i would not suggest "My Lord Cutie Pie" They don't like that so much of the time.

good luck!

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to pandoravampire)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/24/2005 5:49:32 AM   
zephyresque


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		If it's been nine months and you're still having trouble with such a basic instruction, perhaps there's a deeper issue in play?

Perhaps its subconscious rather than overt, but maybe you're engaging in a tiny bit of rebellion, a bit of topping from the bottom, if you like.

I rarely referred to my former Dom by his first name. In private, I called him Sir, or any other variation of. For a few hours on one occasion, he was Lord Lunky Lump and every time I smiled or laughed when I said that, I got a spanking for disobeying the "no smile" rule. The internal dissonance I experienced between wanting to laugh but not wanting to disobey had me in a compete whirl In public, I rarely called him anything unless it was totally necessary.

Try asking for permission to tie a piece of blue string or something similar around your finger and explain that you wish to use it as an aide memoire. This will achieve two things, the first one being that your Dom will be cognisant of the fact you are trying to remember, and the second being that the string will hopefully remind you to use his preferred title. Win/win.

Good luck :)





< Message edited by zephyresque -- 6/24/2005 5:50:43 AM >

_____________________________

live, laugh, love

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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/24/2005 6:38:54 AM   
KittieSummers


Posts: 33
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i would not suggest "My Lord Cutie Pie" They don't like that so much of the time



LOL!

_____________________________

Kittie ~ honoured to be Hers...

Don't try to be a great sub, just be a sub and let history make it's own judgements.

Blessed Be

(in reply to zephyresque)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/24/2005 8:26:57 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Get a pen and paper, or a keyboard and new document and start writing. Use SIR as much as possible in your document. i had to remember to call myself "this one" with Master, yet i couldnt remember. So i started writing "this one likes apples.. and this one went to the store today. to where i could WRITE this one with out thinking about it. Write PAGES if you have too. IE "Sir wishs me to call him Sir, and i would love to please Sir, by calling him Sir and not the other name, because his name to me is Sir and if i could just call him Sir and not forget to call him Sir, i would be so happy, as Sir would be happy." Or write HIM a letter (unsent) and tell him things, and use the name Sir alot in the letter. Or walk around "talking" to him (when he's not there) using the Sir often as you can.

(in reply to KittieSummers)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/24/2005 8:30:55 AM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

i would not suggest "My Lord Cutie Pie" They don't like that so much of the time


King Papa Smurf!!

Master wants me to start calling him Daddy. LOL sometimes i forget. Playfully at times, i'll call him instead "Big Mack Daddy" or Daddy - O or Pimp Daddy orrrrrrrrrrrrr LOL anything else i can think of playfully.

(in reply to KittieSummers)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/24/2005 11:32:21 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		Thankyou for the suggestions.
Ive written a page using the word Sir, over and over, ill do another before he arrives home tonight. I HAVE to use his name in front of the children, so hope it doesnt go the other way! With a 18yr old around, that could take some explaining. lol

(in reply to RiotGirl)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/25/2005 4:18:25 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I am close to being collared, i think anyway, the hints are coming thick and fast.
Ive to achieve a task by the end of the week as a motivator, he will then be considering it.
My task it to remember his title of Sir. I actually forget to use this address on several occasions, referring to him by His name instead. If the vanilla world would piss off so i didnt have to swap so much, it might be easier, but that's not going to happen.
Any tips on how i might remember? I dont forget the D/s dynamic, its the title.

Its been 9 months now, and im still forgetting and trying his patience


I know exactly what you mean. The man I'm seeing and I had a challenge this week that was my fault (yeah, go figure, I fucked it up ~grin~). During the time where we were discussing it, I reverted to his scene name, rather than his real name, as he prefers me to call him when we aren't around other kinksters.

He was ok with it, but I find it frustrating. It's difficult at times to make the shift in my head, so I sympathize with you.

As far as using the 'carrot and stick' method for collar acquiring, I don't know how long I'd be willing to put up with that. I don't care for it when Doms use collars as a method of behavior modification. I think collars are too important to be messed with.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to pandoravampire)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/25/2005 12:49:33 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Master has just given me a training collar and since then i've been forgeting to address her as Master. it's hard because i address her as sweetie in public and i tend to call her this at home as well. It would be nice if i could call her that in public as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pandoravampire

If the vanilla world would piss off so i didnt have to swap so much, it might be easier, but that's not going to happen.


i agree.

Maybe just keep repeating in your head to say Sir in replace of his name might work while at home. LOL! .



i just keep telling myself to replace sweetie with Master. But it's easier said then done. i think eventually i will learn from my punishments.


But it seems this training collar has opened the door of punishments. Master is paying close attention to my actions and following up on things. The other day i wrote till my hand hurt " i will never inconvienence my Master again. i love you Master" .


(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/25/2005 2:10:23 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

Master has just given me a training collar and since then i've been forgeting to address her as Master. it's hard because i address her as sweetie in public and i tend to call her this at home as well. It would be nice if i could call her that in public as well.

Why can't you?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/25/2005 2:32:22 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Well i suppose i could address her as Master in public but an uncomfortable feeling would rush over me as i felt the stares buring a hole in me.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/25/2005 6:04:15 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

Well i suppose i could address her as Master in public but an uncomfortable feeling would rush over me as i felt the stares buring a hole in me.

Try thinking of it this way; is it worth feeling a little bit uncomfortable (at first, because it will get easier) to know that you're pleasing your Master by addressing her that way? Of course this assumes that your Master wishes you to address her in that manner in public...

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/25/2005 6:21:52 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Well i realy don't care what others think and i'd probably get a kick out of the expressions on their faces anyways. ::: giggles ::: maybe Master could also give me a large swat on the ass after addressing her just for kicks. haha


But Master doesn't want me to address her this way in public. But i will keep this in mind should she change her mind. minus the ass swatting though.


(in reply to stef)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/26/2005 4:35:32 PM   
Rascalyrabbit


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

Well i realy don't care what others think and i'd probably get a kick out of the expressions on their faces anyways. ::: giggles ::: maybe Master could also give me a large swat on the ass after addressing her just for kicks. haha


But Master doesn't want me to address her this way in public. But i will keep this in mind should she change her mind. minus the ass swatting though.







_____________________________

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(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/27/2005 7:57:27 AM   
Hissweetshiv


Posts: 200
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline 		Agh! I have to agree with the girl who didn't approve of the collar being used as a motivator. To me, my collar is equivalent to a wedding ring (which i am also wearing, and from the same Man) - it is a binding commitment, not a tool to be used to cause a sub to act in a certain manner.
As for address, i'm afraid i have no helpful advice on that score... Master doesn't require me to call Him any specific title... we aren't currently active in the lifestyle outside the home, so whether i address Him as Master or by name is completely up to me. The default is usually "my Love" because He is, lol. I've often slipped the other way... almost calling Him "Master" in front of our son. I did give Him His title in the ER once when i was all dopey...fortunately the staff was elsewhere at that moment lol. Bottom line, we all make these errors at first. Make it obvious that you're trying to correct it and a reasonable Man will usually be tolerant of the occasional slip.
~shiv

(in reply to pandoravampire)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: collar being dangled just out of reach! - 6/27/2005 3:32:49 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		I agree that a collar is a poor choice of carrot. We both feel that a collar is marriage, me more than him, coz a marriage certificate, meant jack shit to the last partner, so now has zilch merit for me. Plus the small incovenience of not being divorced yet.
But choice of carrots, is not my choice its His.
I have done a lot better this week though, so perhaps he wasnt so far off afterall. But addressing him correctly, is part of training for my collar, but only a part.
This week, im put on phase two, which also helps, if not addressed correctly, he will not respond. Im on day two of that. Still very early, but only slipped up 3 times in the last week. Now that is a vast improvement on the week before.
It does however, seem to of greatly reduced spontaneous conversation from me. I seem to of gone a little quiet. The evil side of me is probably being passively aggressive. but it seems like i have to think too much to make idle comments, so i am leaving them out a bit.

Its really good to hear that other subs face this, often i feel that all others are naturals at this, and im playing at it, as i make so many 'early' mistakes. I am not a submissive person, and my submission is a challenge at times as i switch back and forth, from mum to sub, colleague to sub etc. Why he has to use psychological methods is because this is what works for him. The power exchange from mental play is what works for me, so its a appropriate method, just less fun than the physical lol.

Thankyou.

(in reply to Hissweetshiv)
Profile   Post #: 16
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