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PassionsHarmony -> RE: Everything was going so well... or so I thought (7/6/2005 8:51:28 AM)
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This is a difficult area especially when you are young. Your mother I am sure is concerned and while you may not agree you will always be her baby. LOL even at 60. If you have in the past had a good relationship with your mother and an open one then perhaps sitting down and being honest about it might be good. I have talked to my own Mother about my lifestyle choices, she understands them and supports them. Of course, where we differ is that I am 38 and she has seen my past mistakes when I chose unwisely in relationships because I did not understand my own needs. She feels much more comfortable in knowing I know who I am and what I need and that in knowing that I will be safe. She has read the Story of O, actually read it a few years prior to my discussing things with her and at the time she saw things in there that made her think of me. So I am sure she was all ready on some sort of path to figuring things out. I will say I am fortunate that she has a very open mind and thinks things through. LOL of course we both have decided that it is best not to discuss this with my father he may be open minded to a degree but his little girl even at 38 nope not that.
So perhaps try if you can to talk to her about how you feel, why it fullfills a need in you. Talk about safe sane consensual. If she is open to the conversation highlight safety, talk about safe words, safe calls. Secretary I will agree might not have been a good choice. I found that movie a bit insulting and that it portrayed submissives as weak and crazy. Perhaps after talking to her, be open to answering questions.... think before answering do not react in anger. She most likely will have hard direct questions, and you may feel attacked by them. Bite your tongue a bit and place yourself in her shoes and her natural concern for her daughter who she of course would want to protect. If you do, and can answer things quietly and openly she may start to hear you. It wont change overnight and she may have more questions as you go along. Let her know you understand this, perhaps you can compromise by telling her you will be honest and let her know what is going on. So she will not feel as worried.
The kink friendly therapist would be good. If you go after your discussion with her. Perhaps if you both go together she will come to a better understanding. She may not agree with it but perhaps she can learn to accept it now that it is in the open. Remember she is your mother, she will be concerned, even worried, try to respect her fears and concerns and her place in your life. As you would a Dominant in your life. Perhaps showing her that side of yourself will help as well. Wish you all the best with working things out.
Harmony
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