Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

love hating the pain?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> love hating the pain? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
love hating the pain? - 6/15/2004 1:24:17 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Below is from a Dom's profile i just read, i am wondering if this is possible if you are a sub that enjoys pain, any comments?

"Inside, I feel that when I give pain to a slave or submissive in the way that she enjoys it, I am actually serving her. This does not satisfy my need to dominate her.

In order to satisfy me, she must agree to go beyond what she enjoys. She must hate the pain, but love hating the pain, because it gives me pleasure that she is now suffering for me and not herself."

< Message edited by proudsub -- 6/15/2004 3:57:17 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/15/2004 3:20:08 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		I saw that profile, too, proud. He's a sadist, straight up.

Personally I'd be worried about the consquences of subspace with him. Would he go beyond that and cause real harm? Prevent me from reaching that high? Not appealing.

I'm not nearly masochistic enough for that type of interaction. I like good pain, thank you.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/15/2004 5:33:19 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		I think I can kind of relate to what he's saying, though I do not love hating the pain. I hate the pain, period. I have had a few sadist (and Master concurs) that it is often more pleasurable for them to do something that they know I am not getting pleasure from but am enduring to please them. I don't worry about them pushing it too far though, as anyone who has went that route with me has always been careful of where I was physically and mentally in endurance, and all have stopped when they felt they were pushing too far. I guess part of it goes back to the basic trust thing. I personally don't play with people that I don't trust (literally) with my life....

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/15/2004 8:12:42 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		He is in My Opinion defining what painful pleasures are to a Sadist
a masocist has a known thresh hold of tolerance of pain and it is the Sadists position to find this and take it beyond in order for the masocist to experiance the pleasure in the pain. anything below their threshhold is not euphoric pleasure.
of course this does not include you lay BDSMers whom are NOT masocist and it would not be expected for you to enjoy such a state but for a SnMer this is where both desire to be taken and to take.
JMO

(in reply to EStrict)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/15/2004 8:23:12 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Thank you for the replies, i think i understand it now.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/19/2004 3:38:43 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Midear Proud-

I was just speaking of this with a friend. I do consider myself a sadist- I enjoy hurting women. For me, though, it's not about what I do, it's about how much it hurts them. I've twice worked with masochists who needed some serious input to to get them there, and with many who were not masochists at all, but could get it from enduring it to please me. Both types are satisfying to me.

stay warm,

Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/20/2004 12:10:26 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		proudsub,

I can only guess as to the why, but it seems that a general consensus about what should and should not be acceptable has evolved online. (I am not suggesting that just because I want to do something like eat a person still alive, women should be lining up at my front door to fulfill my wish mind you.) The consensus that sadism is only ok if the masochists 'limits' are respected and adhered to seems contrary to the fundemental concept of S&M.

I am also a sadist - though like Lawrence, my enjoyment is out of the intensity of the responses of interaction - not the methodical administration of painful endeavors. Different masochists desire different types and amounts of pain to achieve satisfaction, just like different submissives and slaves have different needs when it comes to their submission.

The statement you shared from the Dom's profile is certainly valid in my mind - he doesn't seek to 'please' the masochist by, say, scratching her itch - because in his mind, he's just doing what she wants. His interest seems to be in rendering the masochist so vulnerable through his actions, that a very different sort of 'pleasure' is experienced - one that would seem (and possibly be) just as destructive as a person who cuts with knives or burns with flame - but again, if everything is within predetermined boundries and expectations, why should his desire for a more intense (or less 'mutually' pleasent) interaction be any less valid then the more commonplace activities and attitudes that we hold to?

It's a complicated matter, I hope I didn't confuse anyone....

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/20/2004 8:48:02 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Thank you Lawrence and Voltare, great responses, clarified a lot for me.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: love hating the pain? - 6/20/2004 9:32:19 PM   
baileythorne


Posts: 264
Joined: 6/6/2004
Status: offline 		My contribution, from my own experience:

I would think that this person is looking for a submissive, not a masochist. I have been told by observers that I appear to be a masochist because I play with people who inflict pain. I've responded that what they observed was submission - I do not like pain but I do like pleasing my partner. If this is a place he wants to take me, I will do my best to go there for him once we have established a bond.

Perhaps this is what the ad was seeking?

These words: Top, Bottom, Dominant, Submissive, Sadist, Masochist, Master, Slave... I view them as a point of reference to begin a conversation. It is always wise to discuss what "X" means to the person who has chosen to use the label "X". If this person was looking for someone who would submit to his sadistic cravings, I think he said it well.

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: love hating the pain? - 10/2/2011 6:53:38 PM   
CharliesHoles


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline 		I hate loving it

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: love hating the pain? - 10/2/2011 6:55:45 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video


(in reply to CharliesHoles)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: love hating the pain? - 10/2/2011 7:27:13 PM   
VideoAdminDelta


Posts: 1278
Joined: 7/26/2008
Status: offline 		Often, your questions can be answered by doing a search of the archives. Please check the date of a thread and avoid commenting on anything more than 6 months old. If you would like to start a discussion based on a thread more than 6 months old, create a new post and include a link to the old thread. Posts telling people the “right” or “true” way to do things are unwelcome. If you are very knowledgeable about a certain topic, we welcome you to share your experiences, just keep your mind open to other possibilities.

(in reply to BurntKitty)
Profile   Post #: 12
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> love hating the pain? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078