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successful subs - 6/24/2005 11:14:30 AM

goodlittlepet

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

Hi,
I am very new to most of the ideas presented here, as you can tell by my profile. That said, I am realizing how deeply my sub tendencies run. my question is for the subs who actually are rather "alpha", or controlling in their day-to-day life. I realize that there are many out there who are subs who are also probably CEO's and seriously powerful people in the outside world. I would like to hear your thoughts on reconciling the difference between being completely submissive within a certain context, and absolutely in control in many other contexts.
Thank you so much for your time,
c

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RE: successful subs - 6/24/2005 11:50:09 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

For me, it isn't really a contradiction.

I'm -always- a completely strong, independant woman, and I don't stop being that way when my partner assumes authority. It isn't that I stop being a forceful person, it's that my forcefulness has been bent to a new track.

For example, when I'm at work, I am making decitions and doing my job to the best of myability, whichincludes being "dominant" however, I have to follow company policy. I can't do everything exactly my way, because there are rules which I have to follow. My relationship with my owner is very similar.

He has certain rules I follow, the most basic being "do what he says." I'm still me, still the strong woman my parnter fell in love with. I'm just a strong woman who has "corporate" rules, if you will :)

I dunno if that makes any sense. It's just that -all- of me belongs to my partner, not just the bits that are obviously 'submissive'. Even the parts that order people around at work, and that yell at people belong to him. I guess it isn't that I stop being strong, it's that somoene else dirrects that strong-ness

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to goodlittlepet)

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RE: successful subs - 6/24/2005 12:47:52 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

For me it merely balances me out. If I didn't have a dom I'd probably have a nervous breakdown. I've been in control all of my life. Any job I've ever held I've went straight to the top.
I've always striven for excellence in whatever it is I've done. I dislike supervising people yet, it is the position I have if I have a job.

I am the strong one for my family and always have been. I know what I want out of life and I won't settle for less.

So, when I'm with my dom...I can be who I was born to be. Don't have to be strong for anyone, he takes over that job. It is my only time to truly de-stress.

(in reply to goodlittlepet)

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RE: successful subs - 6/24/2005 1:13:39 PM

bottominwa

Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

All I can give you is current perspective. For the past five years I have been allowed to be at home full time for the betterment of the House whilst Master is deployed all over in support of the GWT.
Recently, I have had to return to the work force for the houses's financial necessity, so I did so in a job completely beneath my qualifications etc, in the hopes that it would not conflict with my submissive nature at home...backfire! in the worst way! All it did was make me bitter and angry in the house...corrective measures are being taken to find me more applicable employment....but even in the interview process I found myself having a very difficult time switching gears from non to agressive....before I started staying home I held a lucrative and high stress sales position....now I seem to be almost incapable of even selling myself...LOL.

The switching gears process is what put me home in the first place....when I was learning my place in the house I had a very difficult time going from my career, where I managed people to being managed at home.....now I seem to be having a difficult time going from being at home back into work.....

Its a weird world.....and how anyone balances it personally I do not know...and I would love to hear perspectives and tips.

sabrina King

< Message edited by bottominwa -- 6/24/2005 1:15:57 PM >

(in reply to sub4hire)

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RE: successful subs - 6/24/2005 1:47:46 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

The switching gears process is what put me home in the first place....when I was learning my place in the house I had a very difficult time going from my career, where I managed people to being managed at home.....now I seem to be having a difficult time going from being at home back into work.....

When people ask for advice I always tell them to never ever leave the workforce. Even if they are only working part time. Because you will always have to start at the bottom again. The longer you're out the worse it is.
Aside from the way it has messed up your head.
I wish you the best of luck finding work. I know how hard it has got to be for you.

(in reply to bottominwa)

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RE: successful subs - 6/24/2005 1:55:41 PM

bottominwa

Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
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Thanks Gloria...a girls gotta do what a girl's gotta do.....and yes it is unbelievably mind boggling to be out in the world again all of a sudden.....I am dizzy from it..talk about culture shock....oh well....

sabrina King

(in reply to sub4hire)

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RE: successful subs - 6/25/2005 3:39:25 AM

chimera1

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/13/2004
Status: offline

I have thought about this topic a lot. I am relatively successful in my career and progressed to a management level position relatively quickly in comparison with my peers. In reflecting on this I have realised there are to very submissive reasons for why I have been successful at work:

1. I am obedient - when a task, or a deadline, a project etc is due and the expectation made clear I will most certainly do all that is humanly possible to achieve it. Employers see this as 'going the extra mile for the company' and 'not afraid of hard work'
2. I am service orientated. I insist our clients are treated with respect and that a high quality service is delivered to them. This generates quality results and excellent feedback which the employers again see as positive and promotable traits.

While some of my staff along the way have found me to be domineering and controlling (hehe if only they knew) I know that it is ultimately because I have expectations that must be met and I will do all I can to ensure those I am responsible for do not let me down resulting in me letting down the employer.

Now there is zero kink involved here. I do not get wet for the boss! This is just how understanding myself as submissive has helped me understand my drive and success in my career.

(in reply to bottominwa)

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RE: successful subs - 6/25/2005 1:48:49 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bottominwa

All I can give you is current perspective. For the past five years I have been allowed to be at home full time for the betterment of the House whilst Master is deployed all over in support of the GWT.
Recently, I have had to return to the work force for the houses's financial necessity, so I did so in a job completely beneath my qualifications etc, in the hopes that it would not conflict with my submissive nature at home...backfire! in the worst way! All it did was make me bitter and angry in the house...corrective measures are being taken to find me more applicable employment....but even in the interview process I found myself having a very difficult time switching gears from non to agressive....before I started staying home I held a lucrative and high stress sales position....now I seem to be almost incapable of even selling myself...LOL.

The switching gears process is what put me home in the first place....when I was learning my place in the house I had a very difficult time going from my career, where I managed people to being managed at home.....now I seem to be having a difficult time going from being at home back into work.....

Its a weird world.....and how anyone balances it personally I do not know...and I would love to hear perspectives and tips.

sabrina King

i have recently just went back to work 3 weeks ago. For the first 2 weeks all i did was cry because it i felt too overqualified to be a "cashier". i have always been in management and it was a challenging position that i held for about 10 years. i went back to work for financial reasons just like you. i am starting to come around a little now, but it's still hard. i do not want to be in a management position again for reasons such as...i get too wrapped up in my work, work too many hours and take my work home with me. Master means the world too me and i wouldn't want to jeopardize our relationship.

(in reply to bottominwa)

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RE: successful subs - 6/25/2005 2:02:26 PM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
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No matter how strong, or "in control", or independent I may be with others, or in my job, Master is still dominant to me. My submissiveness doesn't change because of that reason.

You can be more or less dominant to others. You simply seek one who is more dominant than you. This doesn't make you a switch though either.....smiles.... at least not in my opinion.

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to goodlittlepet)

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RE: successful subs - 6/25/2005 7:24:57 PM

subrob1967

Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline

My answer is simple, when I'm home I tried to leave work behind me, "at the front door" as they say, so I have no problem submitting to my Dommes's

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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RE: successful subs - 6/25/2005 7:30:08 PM

stjosub67

Posts: 17
Joined: 5/29/2005
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chimera1 wrote

1. I am obedient - when a task, or a deadline, a project etc is due and the expectation made clear I will most certainly do all that is humanly possible to achieve it. Employers see this as 'going the extra mile for the company' and 'not afraid of hard work'
2. I am service orientated. I insist our clients are treated with respect and that a high quality service is delivered to them. This generates quality results and excellent feedback which the employers again see as positive and promotable traits.

I identify 100% to those comments. When I was at the bottom and middle my sub side was a great asset. My dedication and wanting to please clients was superior to a lot of my co-workers.

Now that I am "the man" at a company it is different. I try to employee people who are go getters who thrive and need autonomy. Micro managing is something I can't do because of my nature. This seems to work well. People who like this type of style think I am the greatest and the employees who try to abuse it do not last long. I have a short fuse because I have no sympathy for the lazy and uncaring. I think this is definetly because of me reflecting my nature on them.

Remember we choose to be submissive to someone. This does not mean we bow to anyone. Bosses and co-workers are not our masters and misstrisses.

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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RE: successful subs - 6/29/2005 10:19:28 AM

magiqnapa

Posts: 31
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tempestspet

You can be more or less dominant to others. You simply seek one who is more dominant than you. This doesn't make you a switch though either.....smiles.... at least not in my opinion.

Hey, I totally agree with you! I wanted to seek out a strong, sadistic Dom and feel so lucky that I found one who understands my masochistic needs. I didn't realise until meeting him how long I had actually been repressing my desire to be a sub, after being a Domme for 24 plus years. Does this make me a switch? No. I have a sub. I can be on my Masters collar and leash, and guess what? My sub is on mine.

(in reply to Tempestspet)

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RE: successful subs - 6/29/2005 9:11:12 PM

fourpeas

Posts: 243
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline

I agree with the poster who said that my "submissive" side is the side that has always encouraged me to excel in the workforce and in creative endeavors.

Some submissive and service oriented traits of mine that have enabled me to do that are extreme sensitivity to the emotional states of others, a willingness to please, a willingness to go above and beyond expectations in order to please, a desire to have a harmonious and positive workplace, a desire to succeed and please those around me, and a desire to excel in my passions and talents.

Being a service-oriented submissive myself, I have absolutely no problem being successful and "dominant" at work when I have to be. In fact, my Dom tells me to! He wants me to rock in the world and be fierce, aggressive, beautiful, and as absolutely awesome as I am capable of being. For me to be any less would be a crime, since that is all of me and I am all of those things, not just "subbie mc subberton"... It turns my man on so much to hear me being aggressive and accomplishing tasks because he knows that when the time comes for me to take on HIS task I will attack it with even more energy and passion!

I know who's in charge... I know what you mean about having someone direct the energy, perverseangelic, and gloria, I understand those sentiments entirely.

I read something on here about a submissive who would go out into the world and cut off the balls of men who were playing around with her and bring them back to her Dom as a trophy... Sometimes I feel like the sly little cat in that respect. I like bringing those sort of trophies back to my Dom... awards, success, being a rockstar out in the world... I also enjoy him knowing how strong I am so he understands fully how precious the gift of my submission is and how much that means.

Also: OP: check out www.submissiveloving.com

There is a really great article on there called "The Healthy Submissive" that helped me a lot and I found to be incredibly well written and thoughtful. Check it out, and welcome! Nice tattoo.

(in reply to magiqnapa)

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RE: successful subs - 6/29/2005 11:44:50 PM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
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Being a submissive does not mean you have to be at the bottom of the ladder. Being at the top has its total advantage. More leniant work hours. Get time off when wanted or needed. These people that say they want to be at the bottom because they are submissive are fools. Also some people may think they have to be below their Dominant partner in work but would it not be better if they are higher up and able to designate work and come home with more energy...

(in reply to fourpeas)

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