Question about relationships with woman

Question about relationships with woman (Full Version)

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Carrisa -> Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 4:29:55 PM)
Due to some very traumatic and unfortunate experiences that Ive had with woman in my life in the past I have just never had anything to do with them even as friends. Ive had a hard time trusting them or having respect for them. Id like to get over this and broaden my horizons so to speak. My question is do any of you think that having a female Dom would help me overcome some of these issues? Thanks

BBBTBW -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 4:42:06 PM)
It depends on the issues you have with them. Do you have issues with women as authority figures? You have to remember that no 2 women are alike...you cannot judge a whole based upon the actions of a few. When possibly entering into a realtionship with a woman (platonic or not) remember they are not responsible for what the others did to you.

Politesub53 -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 4:44:07 PM)
Personally speaking i could never be with a Domina that i didnt`t trust. you will be expecting Her too look after your health and wellbeing and for that, in my opinion, trust is essential. As for respecting Her, if you are a submissive then that should be natural. If it isn`t then you have chosen the wrong Domina for you. [;)]

MissyRane -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 5:35:40 PM)
You're in a relationship with her 'cause you mention you're straight in your profile? Not all women are deceitful they're nothing better than men and vice versa, you may simply have been unlucky, having a female dominant may help you and it also may not, simply having a good girlfriend (as in a friend..) can make the difference.

thetammyjo -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 6:58:27 PM)
Honestly, no. Get to know women as friends before you scene with one. That goes for both men and women. A Ds or SM relationship has to built on basic trust but if no basic trust exist there is no foundation and thus I think it will fail.

GuidingLite -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 11:26:56 PM)
Try having one of them go down on you.

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/21/2007 11:35:44 PM)
Being submissive (which, in my eyes, is about being vulnerable and trusting with a dominant) with a person who you inherently feel traumatized by is putting yourself in a vice between what the relative position requires and what makes you safe. Seems like a recipe for failure. Why not try healing your relationship with women in baby steps that you can control and assimilate? However, different strokes for different folks -- if you learn best by pushing yourself out of your own psychological comfort zone and directly confronting a fear, this would be a fine way to go. MSS

SweetDommes -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 2:25:05 AM)
My opinion is, any time you ask yourself the question "with a relationship with X fix Y problem?" ... the answer is 'no' - you are just setting yourself up for failure and misery (and usually making the problem worse) if you go that route.

Cloudz -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 6:49:51 AM)
My question is do you think you could trust and respect any woman? Are you assuming a female Dominant will somehow help you cross the barrier? Are you attracted to women on some level you have not shared with us here? Or are you looking for some kind of phobia desensitizing regarding women? Just my thoughts...

WyckedMystress -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 6:58:12 AM)
quote: My question is do any of you think that having a female Dom would help me overcome some of these issues? Try that or therapy! Not all Women are bad just like not all men are bastards. Good luck with whatever path you choose. WyckedMystress

pollux -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 9:36:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carrisa Due to some very traumatic and unfortunate experiences that Ive had with woman in my life in the past I have just never had anything to do with them even as friends. Ive had a hard time trusting them or having respect for them. Id like to get over this and broaden my horizons so to speak. My question is do any of you think that having a female Dom would help me overcome some of these issues? Thanks No.

MisPandora -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 12:11:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carrisa Due to some very traumatic and unfortunate experiences that Ive had with woman in my life in the past I have just never had anything to do with them even as friends. Ive had a hard time trusting them or having respect for them. Id like to get over this and broaden my horizons so to speak. My question is do any of you think that having a female Dom would help me overcome some of these issues? Thanks Sorry, but I'm a hardliner here when it comes to mixing psychological issues and SM-as-therapy. NO. Please, do yourself, and the potential play partners a favor and get some professional counseling. Once you've gotten a handle on the issues, then perhaps you could use BDSM as a mechanism (if it still interests you.) Dominant women are not tools for you to get over your psychological life trauma. There's too much at stake and it'd be tremendously unfair for you to saddle her with the burden of being your shrink.

ErusDespicienta -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 12:46:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carrisa Due to some very traumatic and unfortunate experiences that Ive had with woman in my life in the past I have just never had anything to do with them even as friends. Ive had a hard time trusting them or having respect for them. I've had taumatic and unfortunate experiences with women. They were due to MY lack of foresight. If I'd been gay I probably would be saying the same thing about men. IF I'd been a sub I'd be saying the same thing about Dommes. Look! how many times have you heard people say " I hate this place, I'm moving somewhere better" and then found out that a year later they are in the same mess. We create our environment with the choices we make, I have and I think you are picking the wrong ones, take some time to research human personality and characteristics, you will find a common thread in the choices you make that bring these troubles to you. Alternatively understand that your type is bad for you, find a way to understand that kind of relationship and put it to good use. In closing I have to add, in learning about myself I discovered this: ~~~~ if all women are bitches, then all men are pigs~~~. MissyRane put it very succinctly too :)

blmtrsne -> RE: Question about relationships with woman (7/22/2007 2:52:14 PM)
First solve your problems before getting into any relation. If you feel you are a slave or a sub that's one thing, but if you feel you're sick, consult a doctor. A domme would have to invest Her time comforting you while normally you should be there to serve Her. You should trust and care for Her before engaging into any form of relation. And if you're talking about a commercial Domme: depending on Her personallity you might find one who does anything for money. But that's play, not a relationship. So this person will not help you with an illness, she'll just do what you expect.

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