RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....???

RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (Full Version)

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auniquegift -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 8:22:09 PM)
it is actually starnge i saw this post tonight....i dont think you are needy as i feel the same way you do... just actually stated to someone i needed to hear from Him .....

marieToo -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 8:32:37 PM)
I think daily contact is pretty reasonable, even if it turns out to be just an email because one or the other is having a busy day. Missing a day here or there isn't bad, but any more than that and I would start feeling ornary. I like to always feel just a little bit hungry tho.

pleasureforck -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 9:37:40 PM)
I always need to talk to my SO everyday. If I didn't hear from him I would be a mess. I feel too needy sometimes but he tells me I'm not. He likes that I need him that badly.

obis -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 10:14:38 PM)
I, like many guys I know, simply hate talking on the phone. For me, I need to see facial and body language to have a full conversation, so if I'm not physically with someone I can happily go several days without contact. I have had subs who wanted more frequent contact (particularly in the beginning) and i try to oblige but in terms of my needs talking on the phone doesn't do much to fulfill me emotionally.

Grlwithboy -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 10:17:42 PM)
Heh, it drives my husband batshit when I call him at work. kind of fun in small doses

umisprite -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 10:24:24 PM)
When in a committed relationship I would hope that he wants to be in touch every day as much as I do.

Allurea -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/21/2007 10:42:54 PM)
i prefer to talk everday, but i was once told that if he didnt want me he would tell me and my assuming iwasnt wante because we didnt talk every day was pushing him away if that makes sense. He started talking to me less to teach me proper paitence, and lol its late so my spelling is screwy..........

Kellendra -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 12:24:44 AM)
Doesn't have to have contact everyday......though it sure is nice to hear from Him. Just to know He has thought of me and all that.[:)]

bigbelt0223 -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 2:49:00 AM)
When a relation Master/sub has no love or affection its doomed and people that care for eachother will have the need to have contacts as much as possible. Even online relations have the same needs and I have had 36 hours online within 2 days with a sub that started and needed a lot of guidance so its NOT a female 'thing' to feel the need for close contact and remember thoughts/minds know no distance and you can create a world for yourself.

bigbelt0223 -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 2:52:11 AM)
A real Master does NOT have slaves, he is the man a woman wants to submit too and he will handle that submission for what it is, the most precious gift Submission can NEVER be forced, its a gift that comes from the soul of the submitter , whereby, some love to feel and serve like a slave, and some are happy pleasing their Master with devotion . The mental connection and/or feeling of love and care have to be mutual or the relation is doomed. A real Master makes you smile when you're sad. He lifts you when you are down. If you need to cry he lends you his shoulder and wipes your tears. When you are excited he will bring you past heaven and back and then comfort you. Some need pain, some are happy in devotion, it is different for every individual. Cracking a whip and name you slut and whore is NOT a real Masters way. He is intelligent and knows all about you, your craving, your lust as well as the things that you DONT like. His mental power will make you addictive to Him and THAT is what makes you submit to Him. He is your Tutor, Mentor and Guide Master is just a name/title some subs call Him Sir, some Master and some Daddy, your heart will know how to address Him should you submit to Him, but first you go on a road and together you will travel that, sometimes, bumpy road. The destination is not the important issue; it is the journey that counts !© [email protected]

adoracat -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 3:54:33 AM)
i'm a bit high needs in the contact department. and Sir knows and accepts this about me. if i dont hear from him every day, its nearly physically painful to me. so he does. kitten

mstrjx -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 5:47:47 AM)
There are two ways to look at this phenomenon. There is a new person in your life, and because of your own nature (call it needy or clingy or some sort of emotional deficiency that comes about when one is in a relationship) you feel compelled to want to 'be' with that person in some fashion or another. The traits of that other person doesn't matter so much. They seem to be in your life, and you want to be there. -or- There is a new person in your life that you recognize to be different, special, and the best thing for you is to spend as much time as you can with/near that person via some media or another. Am I skewing the examples to make the first sound 'off' whereas the second seems eminently more healthy? That the object of one's desire in the second example is a better fit? Maybe. But the two examples 'could' be one and the same. It is possible to be needy and clingy and get lucky in who you meet all at the same time. When I first started communicating with mythi, first in email then on cam then in person (as much as our distance can allow), I didn't know that she had already realized that with the prior events/partners in her life she had felt an emotional emptiness that needed to be filled. We traded emails in the beginning daily, or several times a day, but that's fairly normal. By the time the first occasion arose where the word 'needy' came up in chat (by her), I already knew that it didn't matter how much she wanted to be 'near' me (healthy or not), I wanted to be with her. I know that my 'obsession' with her isn't just having a partner in my life. I'm quite happy on my own, and easily recognize that if I'm in a relationship that is 'less than the best' that I don't mind a certain amount of emotional distance. Not so now. I don't want that emotional distance any more than she. We don't speak much on the phone (no real need), but we cam daily (for hours) and get together as often as possible. I watch during the end of her sleep in the morning, and I watch when she goes to bed. This is fulfilling to each of us in our way. At some point in time over the next couple of months we'll close the physical gap and be together for good. And that's a good thing. Sometimes I really miss her. Jeff

playfulotter -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 8:20:52 AM)
Thanks for all your replies and points of view..it really helped![:)] I

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 8:28:57 AM)
nope don't have that "i need to talk to Daddy" constant feeling since we have daily communication and i have my nilla side of life such as doing a radio show, reviewing concerts, UMs, etc keeping me busy

gypsygrl -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 9:26:36 AM)
It's important for me to have regular, predictable contact with someone and that's one of the things I look closely at early on when deciding if I want to invest myself emotionally. The details of the contact are open to negotiation, but if someone can't stay in regular contact, or allow me to contact them, I have to wonder if they're emotionally available for anything more than a casual relationship. Plus, being able to rely on them helps me to let go and fosters submissive feelings.

charlotte12 -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 1:15:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl It's important for me to have regular, predictable contact with someone and that's one of the things I look closely at early on when deciding if I want to invest myself emotionally. The details of the contact are open to negotiation, but if someone can't stay in regular contact, or allow me to contact them, I have to wonder if they're emotionally available for anything more than a casual relationship. Plus, being able to rely on them helps me to let go and fosters submissive feelings. It's sort of the same for me. For me it's more important that contact be predictable. If i know someone is going to be gone for a week i may miss them but i don't start freaking out. If i am left hanging, not knowing when i will hear from them next it drives me crazy. Being able to rely on someone is important for me to trust them on a basic friendship level let alone submitting to them.

MinaM -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 4:59:45 PM)
I wouldn't say it's needy. It's a style issue. Some people like it or need it, others don't. You want to find someone who you match well with. My dearest friend likes to be kept in the loop. A lot. I like keeping her there. It's a simple enough thing to do and it makes us both happy. It's a direct contrast to my hubby who barely tells me anything until he wants something from me.

classykindasassy -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 5:05:09 PM)
It really depends on the nature of a relationship for me. In the beginning when all the ooey-gooey stuff is going on, yeah, maybe so. I am not really a phone person except when I have to. When the relationship is more seasoned I am not so high-maintenance because I can feel the person with me. That's just me.

daddyscherry -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 5:06:13 PM)
i think i'd go absolutely crazy if i didn't have contact every 24 hours....i need alot more than that. my Daddy and i used to stay on the phone for about 4-5 hours a day or more...sometimes just doing our own thing on the ohter end... Also texting an insane ammount. He used to joke about it all the time...the the company we have our service through didnt expect us when they said "unlimited calling" Then at one point that got less and less and less....after we moved into together even less. Now, when he is out of town i go through massive seperation anxiety because we can barely talk....so maybe that initial all the time thing that he thought was good at the time has biten me in the ass.

subsweetkitty -> RE: i don't want to seem like a needy submissive but....??? (7/22/2007 5:40:17 PM)
playfulotter- This is sort of in tune with my posts "How Long does it last?" Im in LDR right now with fairly new D. Im newish at this sort of play too.. His calls (never longer than 5 mins)/texts messages(averages 30 per day at all hours of day/night)/emails(depends on how much time he has in the a.m.) have made our 3 weeks apart fly by for me. It definitely does help to have some form of contact. I dont think its a female/male thing as some have said. Its more of a compatibility issue.

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