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what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 6:18:31 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

Things have been rough for me lately;divorce,health problems,impending lay offs at work,a close pet died, a recent breakup (of course, because heartbreak always happens in the midst of everything bad)
Some ways i ease my pain are;
-long talks with friends where they just let me cry on thier shoulder
-a visit to the beach to see a very good friend.i will be doing this is July.Ahh walks on the beach will be nice

-kickboxing workout from hell
-watch re-runs of "The Simpsons"
-make dates,even if they are with friends,hey i'm legally single now and i'm not getting any younger why not put myself out there..yeah yeah i know but that's what the self help books tell me to do lol

-make fun of porno.ok you have to admit some are funny
-Chocolate,chocolate,CHOCOLATE!!!
-Did i mention chocolate?
-hold and or pet any random cats that may be around

What are some things that you to ease your suffering when you're going through a bad patch?
Any ideas that i may have left out?
Thank you

< Message edited by dechala -- 6/25/2005 6:36:41 AM >

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

Post #: 1

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 6:48:11 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

LOL

Em alot of things. For one, when i things arent going well, i stop talking to my friends. Wont call them, wont answer the phone. After about 5 years, LOL they tend to get the message and leave well enough alone until i make first contact

when i'm confused about things.. i talk to people.

i can shut down completely and hole myself up.

One of my "old" favorites was to go get completely smashed at a bar.

i write.

Unfortunetly when i get "hurt" i get pretty angry.. so i become a total witch.

Or i read.. constantly like a 500 book in two days. Watch movies. Listen to music.

take off for a walk out into the night to see what "adventure" might pop up.

And then there is those bad habits that Master has taught me not to do....

like drawing blood on myself.. becoming destructive

And there is the option Master has been trying to teach me

Just going to him and telling him

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 2

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 7:53:07 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What are some things that you to ease your suffering when you're going through a bad patch?
Any ideas that i may have left out?

I generally have the typical emotions. If there is a god I ask what I did to endure another death.
Then I decide why should I allow this recent series of events to rule my life. Pick myself up, shake off. Remember things happen period. Nothing I can really do to stop them.
Immerse myself in something. Generally my favorite is work.
Ihave some different feelings on things in life than the regular person. Like vacations for example. Why should you spend your money on a vacation and come back in debt? Should'nt a vacation be a stress free experience? So, I have certain money I make that goes into a vacation account. I never touch my own. I'll work for that ten grand or so I need. By the time I'm done...I feel better.

Basically it is just getting your mind off of what is going on right now. However you do that. I usually choose working because I like money.
Immerse yourself in fmily, working out. Doing something for you instead of for other's. Just basically whatever makes you feel good without remembering the past right now.

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 3

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 8:28:04 AM

Isolde

Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline

I clean. My house is never cleaner than when I'm hurting. Not that I don't keep it fairly clean normally but if I'm trying to work through pain, I'll do things like shift the stove and fridge to clean under and behind those, I'll beat rugs instead of just vacuuming them, I'll take a toothbrush to the grout in the bathroom...I go from being tidy to being obsessive about getting things clean, and if I run out of things to do I feel a little lost.

Books. Reading and sometimes writing, although what I write while in that sort of mood always turns out to be terrible.

I'll also lose myself in video games, especially MMORPGs. I'm a big ol' girl geek and that's an excellent way of setting your mind on autopilot, and forgetting what you're hurting about. Those games are such braincandy.

And of course, there's food and alcohol. I used both of these to numb the pain after our son died but I've learned better ways of coping since.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 4

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 8:53:17 AM

Pavel

Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline

I go running, I really don't like doing it (and it's part of my daily routine anyways), but it's a good way to just dump stress/anger/depression into physical effort.

I read books at an insane rate when not feeling so hot, it's just a place to lose one's self while getting some time between you and whatever event is bothering you.

Lots and lots of Monty Python and Mystery Science Theatre 3000 watching. Also I really like cheesy scifi movies. There's just somthing amuseing to either watching a big budget movie fail miserably (Battlefield Earth for instance) or giant foam rubber ants duke it out with the Marine Corps (like in Them! although the giant mutant grasshoppers vs the US Army and Air Force in "Beginning of the end was classy too).

I also usually fall back on computer games. The simple joins of beating a headcrab into a pile of goo with a crowbar makes me feel just a bit better.

When I'm at home visiting the folks, our dogs work wonders. Fuzzy labs go a long way to making you feel good again (as they're all soft, sweet and they have a tendancy to poke you with their noses until you play with them).

(in reply to Isolde)

Post #: 5

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 9:22:03 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

What are some things that you to ease your suffering when you're going through a bad patch?

Take walks, visit my support group online, play online games.

I'm sorry for all that you are going through dechala.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 6

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 9:41:04 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I'll take a toothbrush to the grout in the bathroom.

Whose toothbrush?

Sorry but you know how when you're reading something and something specific sort of stands out at you. The toothbrush did....I envisioned Proud using her husbands toothbrush to masturbate with, without his knowledge.

Sorry Proud but you'll never live that one down...hehe.
I'm curious though has he ever found out yet?

(in reply to Isolde)

Post #: 7

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 10:15:01 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What are some things that you to ease your suffering when you're going through a bad patch?

What it is that we chose to do is very important. I used to turn to things such as comfort food. Well comfort food tends to creep up on us and then creates another reason to suffer! Now I get on my bicycle and peddle away. I find, much like Pavel said, that physical activity is an excellent way to deal with stress/anger/depression. Also, instead of my ass turning into a blimp, it is slowly becoming a very dangerous weapon <weg>.

Other then that, I make sure not to isolate myself from my friends. I have noticed that when you have good friends, you can call them up and say "I need you" and they will usually oblige. :)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 8

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 11:00:13 AM

Isolde

Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline

The toothbrush I use for cleaning is just a cheap one I bought at the store for that purpose. I don't think I've been mad enough at my husband to think of using his, but I can see why that might have occured to you. I knew a guy in college who would take his roommates' toothbrushes to the toilet whenever they annoyed him. Blech.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 9

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 11:19:54 AM

Pavel

Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline

Hmm, I would have done that to my roomate's toothbrush, but I think it was foul enough already having voyaged into his mouth...

Ya know, the idea of an ass as a deadly weapon isn't that good, concealed weapons permits take forever, and I'm not sure you want to wait that long to wear pants.

I also forgot to mention manual labor. There's just somthing relaxing to doing hard work, and when you're done there's a clear visual result to what you're doing (somthing often lacking in both jobs and school). Even if it is just a hole in the ground or a slightly less weedy patch in the garden). Kinda like working out with somthing to look at by the end of the day.

(in reply to Isolde)

Post #: 10

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 12:47:56 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

These are things I have been doing a lot lately:

Try to keep busy. Work a lot and do stuff around the house. That gives me less time to spend rummaging around in my head. Also, I try to make some kind of improvement, however minor it might be, to the house and /or grounds every day. That gives me a sense of accomplishment and helps my self-esteem.

Let myself acknowledge and feel the pain, rather than trying to pretend it's not there.

Examine the painful feelings and try to see which ones are based on reality and which ones are coming from irrational thoughts...then I try to call "bullshit" on the irrational ones and get them the hell outta here.

Talk to friends. But in a way that helps me sort out what happened, as opposed to just whining. But I am not perfect, so there is naturally gonna be a bit of whining mixed in there, too.

Pay lots of attention to Otis and Daisy (my cats) and let them pay lots of attention to me.

Keep looking for someone. Not obsessively. Not in a 'gottafindhergottafindherNOW!' kinda way. More like doing whatever it was that worked well for me before the whole unfortunate episode.

Work out. Feels good, helps with self-esteem, and does that endorphin thing.

Eat. Not a lot. Just the occasional treat.

There is probably more that I do that I am not aware of.

Bob

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 11

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 1:34:32 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pavel
Hmm, I would have done that to my roomate's toothbrush, but I think it was foul enough already having voyaged into his mouth...

How mean! Seriously, I change my toothbrush every 8-12 weeks—I just love that brand new toothbrush feeling and I am concerned about bacteria—so I always have spare ones to clean with.

quote:

Ya know, the idea of an ass as a deadly weapon isn't that good, concealed weapons permits take forever, and I'm not sure you want to wait that long to wear pants.

Who says my ass is always concealed? ;) In any case, perhaps a skirt is a good compromise…

quote:

I also forgot to mention manual labor. There's just somthing relaxing to doing hard work, and when you're done there's a clear visual result to what you're doing (somthing often lacking in both jobs and school). Even if it is just a hole in the ground or a slightly less weedy patch in the garden). Kinda like working out with somthing to look at by the end of the day.

Ah yes! Well considering my ex-boyfriend called me last night with plans to woo me back <sigh>… lets say my apartment is absolutely spotless today!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Pavel)

Post #: 12

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 2:35:22 PM

Pavel

Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline

I usually use an electric one (rock on for sonicare). But yes, the new brush heads feel quite nice. I usually use the freebie ones I get from the dentist's to clean toliets and such.

Perhaps on the skirt, I'll have to read up on just what constitutes concealed.

And oh dear, I suppose there's nothing wrong with clean apartments.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 13

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 5:33:55 PM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Isolde

I'll also lose myself in video games, especially MMORPGs. I'm a big ol' girl geek and that's an excellent way of setting your mind on autopilot, and forgetting what you're hurting about. Those games are such braincandy.

Ohhh *raises hand like Horseshack in Welcome Back Kotter* i'm a proud gamer geekette as well.We are a rare breed.i love MMORPG's,as well as LARPing.Tis a good way to good your mind of off trouble.Go kill many orcs and all will be well

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to Isolde)

Post #: 14

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 5:35:51 PM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

What are some things that you to ease your suffering when you're going through a bad patch?

Take walks, visit my support group online, play online games.

I'm sorry for all that you are going through dechala.

Thank you dear

*hugs*

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 15

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 5:40:43 PM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pavel

I go running, I really don't like doing it (and it's part of my daily routine anyways), but it's a good way to just dump stress/anger/depression into physical effort.

I read books at an insane rate when not feeling so hot, it's just a place to lose one's self while getting some time between you and whatever event is bothering you.

Lots and lots of Monty Python and Mystery Science Theatre 3000 watching. Also I really like cheesy scifi movies. There's just somthing amuseing to either watching a big budget movie fail miserably (Battlefield Earth for instance) or giant foam rubber ants duke it out with the Marine Corps (like in Them! although the giant mutant grasshoppers vs the US Army and Air Force in "Beginning of the end was classy too).

I also usually fall back on computer games. The simple joins of beating a headcrab into a pile of goo with a crowbar makes me feel just a bit better.

When I'm at home visiting the folks, our dogs work wonders. Fuzzy labs go a long way to making you feel good again (as they're all soft, sweet and they have a tendancy to poke you with their noses until you play with them).

Yes i also read quite a bit when i get in these moods.And not sappy romance novels either.A deterant from reality always helps.
Writing is a very good outlet for me too.i keep a private online journal and a public one.Writing can be a great way to heal

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to Pavel)

Post #: 16

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 5:42:34 PM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

Examine the painful feelings and try to see which ones are based on reality and which ones are coming from irrational thoughts...then I try to call "bullshit" on the irrational ones and get them the hell outta here.

This is very good advice and something that i should work on
Thank you

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 17

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 6:24:58 PM

fp2012

Posts: 97
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

What do I do? Hmm...
FENCE! You can't exactly fence without focusing completely on what you're doing, so much so that you lose yourself in the game. Honestly, that's one of the reasons I love it so much. For those 2 little hours every day I don't worry about a thing except stabbing people lol. (Which is also a great way to get out anger!).

Yay geek-girls! I am a huge gamer and own so many systems... no x-box yet, that's coming soon. Star Craft is one of my favorite computer games as is Warcraft, and Unreal Tournament... sadly they aren't on the computer I'm using this summer, so I am deprived of slaughtering of newbies for the time being.
Hope everything works out for you dechala! I'm off to go watch some Red vs. Blue now!
Cheers,
~fp

_____________________________

"When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm better" - Mae West

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 18

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 6:30:23 PM

Mylee

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

What do I do? I have a really good cry then put on excersize cloths and turn up my Cd player and belly dance, I let all my anger and sadness and tension just flow through my hips and body and out through the floor and if that still doesnt work, I take a really long bath, sometimes till I prune up! And if that doesnt work I dance some more till Im so tired I just wanna sleep

(in reply to fp2012)

Post #: 19

RE: what do you do to ease the pain? - 6/25/2005 7:03:54 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Things that ease my stress or pep me up

1. getting a hair cutt
2. taking myself out to eat (something good and unehealthy that envolves a chocoalte desert)
3. a good work out in the gym
4. buying a new outfit and shoes
5. a day of sword fighting
6. watching Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network
7. getting a massage with pedi and manicure
8. Having a Long Island Ice Tea along with a sortment of drinks and merlot.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 20

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