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Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 8:05:05 AM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
which is better....having a slave/sub that has knowledge or someone that does not?

< Message edited by atendersoul -- 7/24/2007 8:28:29 AM >
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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 8:09:26 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A slave who knows how to remain true to themselves while adapting to change.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 7/24/2007 8:10:36 AM >

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 8:12:27 AM   
Trampler


Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		ok, question, were you trained in another household?  Ask your Master if he likes you being experienced,(though if he doesn't then why did he pick you?)  Are you finding that you crave more strictness?  At any rate, sounds like you need to have a sit down with your Master. :) Hopefully will hear an update!

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Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 8:18:28 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Some things give me reason to question what was learned (things like "Old Guard ways" for instance).  I don't place much value in "learning" fantasy.  And it is often the case that the first step to training a girl, is to untrain what she has been taught by a previous owner.  My household runs according to my personal preferences, protocols, etc. not any previous owner's.
 
John

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 8:36:35 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes I think experiance isnt so much learning a specific set of values and protocols, but the ability to take direction well...to learn and please...

I was actually mentored by gay men in the leather society, so I learned alot of that communities protocols....but traveling around to other communities, I encounter alot of peope who dont follow the exact same protocols, so its good to be able to observe and adapt quickly.

Subs who are set into a "Specific" way of doing something can be frustrating I think, because the next master she serves may want things a compleatly different way, but a sub who has never had the experiance of taking anyone's direction can be just as frustrating also.

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I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 11:24:49 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul


which is better....having a slave/sub that has knowledge or someone that does not?


Neither is better and it's completely subjective as to which someone would prefer.

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 7/24/2007 11:25:12 AM >

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 11:42:40 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I couldn't care less what "training" you've had.  I care about your willingness, your honesty, your wit, your appropriateness around others, your intelligence, etc...If I feel you need to be trained in something I'll trade you in for a dog.  Otherwise I'll TEACH you what I want you to LEARN....not train you to respond Pavlovian style.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 3:29:07 PM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		I'm going to asume that by knowledge you really mean BDSM knowledge and experience.  In which case, I'd have to say it doesn't matter to me.  It's like chocolate and strawberry ice cream.  They are very different, but I like them both.

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 4:49:04 PM   
emdoub


Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul
which is better....having a slave/sub that has knowledge or someone that does not?

IMNSHO, knowledge is always preferable to ignorance.  If someone has been trained in ways that don't meet my preferences, they show that they can be trained - and frankly, retraining is easy.

I don't have any sort of rule about avoiding newbies - but if all else is equal, someone who knows is better than someone who doesn't.

Midnight Writer


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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 4:57:12 PM   
ADom442


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

atendersoul asks:
which is better....having a slave/sub that has knowledge or someone that does not?


For me, it depends upon what "knowledge" the sub/slave has.  You would hope that experience would imply introspection and knowledge of self as well as insights into this lifestyle.  Often, the people I've met who have "knowledge" seem to believe they have knowledge of how they're supposed to serve me a drink, sit when in my company, etc instead of the knowledge of themselves and why they want this kind of relationship.

In a perfect world, I'd prefer knowledgeable, but if forced to choose between explaining the dynamics and benefits of this way of relating to someone who's not knowledgeable or first dispelling preconceptions accumulated from previous experience and then explaining the dynamics and benefits of this way of relating to someone who is knowledgeable, I'd skip the unlearning stage and move directly to the explaining stage.

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It is the business of the very few to be independent; it is a privilege of the strong. And whoever attempts it ... proves that he is probably not only strong, but also daring beyond measure.
- Nietzsche

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 6:03:22 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul
which is better....having a slave/sub that has knowledge or someone that does not?

I think having good sound knowledge in any area is better than being totally ignorant.  As far as the term "knowledge" meaning prior teaching or training as a sub/slave, I think it totally depends.  There are pros and cons to having "been around" not only in WIITWD but in life in general.  Also, there are pros and cons to being somewhat of a "clean slate" as well in some areas. 

Being a "new" sub/slave doesn't necessarily mean that one is a doe-eyed innocent devoid of any sense.  It simply means you have not had certain experiences yet.  Before me, Master had years of experience with a few different subs.  Most of them had much prior experience as well.  I am the first sub (and His only slave) who had no prior experience.  He has told me that it has been a wonderful experience owning me and teaching and shaping me "from scratch," so to speak.  I have nothing to "unlearn" or drastically change as far as any prior learning at the hands of other doms.  I don't constantly compare my life with Him to what I had with another dominant.  I think those are positive aspects of my having been new when I became His. 

On the other hand, if Master was unscrupulous or unethical, my lack of other experience could be a negative thing.  Having had prior experience would be a positive thing in that instance because it would give one something to compare to.  It really just depends in each individual relationship whether or not prior experience/training is preferable.  I personally think that a sensible person with a healthy sense of self and well-defined boundaries is preferable regardless whether they have any prior life experience in WIITWD or not.............luci

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 10:47:16 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings..
to the OP, both, either, neither, umm....d) all of the above.
the acceptance of the sub/slave for who she is (not who you want to make her into) if she is indeed for you....is that not what is part of the attraction? Why the hell change what you were attracted to in the first place? This is not to say that some fine tuning of the girl may be in order...but it is fine tuning a sportscar, not rebuilding a classic into one. Analogy apt, in My opinion it is.


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Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/24/2007 11:04:24 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello atendersoul. In my case, newbie or not, there will be a period of training. An experienced sub will go through the "stages" faster as most basic stuff will be adapted from experience.What is important is learning  and building the dynamic with what is there.

Training would be in a 24/7 context. No rush, and plenty of time to find out "what is there". Both situations are fun and none are preferable, the person is important. Experience always come with time anyway and in long term, you are always a "newbie" in the beginning at the relationship level.... RL.

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 3:38:11 AM   
zack2912


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline 		A NEW UNTRAINED ONE OF COURSE BECAUSE THEN YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL JOB OF BEATING AND TEACHING THE SLAVE

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 4:35:25 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul


which is better....having a slave/sub that has knowledge or someone that does not?


Better, is one that has an overpowering desire to obey, and please, that has the ability to think clearly, and is honest with one's self, as well as with their partner.
 
 

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 7:36:23 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He was very happy that I was a newbie because the last few women he'd met were all very "But that isn't how my ex did it" types. And that grows old fast. But aside from that, he didn't really give a damn. It was more important that there was sufficient compatibility, that I knew what I was looking for and that I could articulate it.

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 7:42:59 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'm elated that my slave is in his mid 50's and was trained in his early 20's. It's a long enough gap in the life for him to understand that the specifics of that household didn't matter  - I'm pretty non-protocol in a lot of ways - but the fact that she got his head on right - got him unselfish, keenly attuned to what he's here for (me) in touch with his likes, but with the understanding that Mistress is not beholden to your dick once you identify your fetishes - holy crap, I owe her a lot of gratitude wherever she went off to.


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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 8:36:21 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		There really is no difference, neither is better or worse. All that changes is my approach. A sub that has had other Doms has expectations of what certain experiences will be like. They won't necessarily be my expectations, but they will be close enough that we can get through the differences together.

A newbie usually needs a lot more time for the learning curve. They haven't ever experienced most of the things we do is a D/s relationship and, for me, they need to understand the process, if not the specifics.

Actually, every sub that has gotten into a relationship with me is a "new sub" as far as I am concerned, even if they have had lots of previous experiences. They still have NO experience with me, and I have none with them. We are creating a new journey, unique to the two of us, and isn't that the true joy of the D/s experience?

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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You teach best what you have lived.

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 10:26:11 AM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		I wish to thank you all for the replies to this posting...
it is nice to see such a mixture of opinions on this subject and hopefully will help others with the understanding of the expressed thoughts
~smiles~

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RE: Experienced or Not..... - 7/25/2007 11:40:32 AM   
JackHammer2000


Posts: 148
Joined: 3/29/2006
From: southern california
Status: offline 		I'd think that the only thing that really matters is the sub/slave's willingness to learn.

Experience may only serve as a double-edged sword, with expectations from former situations/Dominants being used as a standard (consciously or otherwise) by the sub/slave to "grade" the current Dom(me).  On one hand, it may be more convenient to hae someone who already knows what to expect, how to act, etc.  On the other hand, I never believed that there was only ONE, proper sub/slave protocol.  People are different, and what works for one person/couple/group may not necessarily work for another.

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"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
-- James Bovard, Source: Lost Rights. The Destruction of American Liberty (St. Martin's Press: New York, 1994), p. 333

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