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Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 5:10:31 AM   
Jhin


Posts: 45
Joined: 11/19/2006
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I want your most honest opinion on my profile, I am a slave truned Dominatrix, returned hopeful new slave. Can you please read through my profile, should I include more personal information, or wait to give that in mail? I'm most interested if my profile is giving off an image of a woman who is looking for a steady master and life long companion one who is more into emotional control then Sadism..


What your first impression, any hints to improve my profile (more pictures I know but I'm scared about my identity)

Thank in advance :)

< Message edited by Jhin -- 7/25/2007 5:11:48 AM >


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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 5:25:32 AM   
mnottertail


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you have run on sentences and typos.  do you have some mild dyslexia? people are real kooky about that here, and it is rather like a resume so if you need proofreading------  run of the mill, many guys are going to shy away from poetry or poetic like profiles. Pretty girl, pretty run of the mill profile, it is the equivalent of a mans one liner like most of the girls profiles here----and I adore service rather than pain, but....still, you must  be getting 90 billion emails per nanosecond.

Ron 

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 5:32:04 AM   
Jhin


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In fact I am more than mildly dyslexic, and I do comment on my horrible grammer. I should ask someone here to help me but my proof readers in real like would probably object to the subject matter. thank you though.

< Message edited by Jhin -- 7/25/2007 5:33:37 AM >

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 5:40:42 AM   
mnottertail


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ask one of the girls here, they won't object.  Many helpful people out here.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 6:11:59 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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just a few minor typos and sentence structure problems - all that can be corrected however you have clearly stated what you seek and want in your profile

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 7:47:58 AM   
EclipseAbove


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I would have to second the idea of less poetry.  Perhaps you could keep the poetry but put it at the bottom, rather than at the top.  I can't speak for all men or even most, but many I know would just prefer to just be told straight-out what they most need to know about you rather than read poetry or pretty verse.  You might want to re-word a few things or change your preferences.  Things like "I am not something to be locked up, I am an individual, and I will not be bound" and "Lives For: Bondage" could be confusing at first to some.

It might improve your profile and increase the quality of the "hits" you get by adding something about what qualities you would like to see in a partner (perhaps someone who will value and cherish their sub, for example).  As for the grammar, I tend to overlook that kind of stuff unless the errors are so severe that I can't easily understand what has been written.  I could understand your profile with no problem.  It could be cleaned up a bit, but that is easily done with some help.

Despite all that I've suggested, I think you have a pretty good profile.  Not sure you need any other pictures - the one you have is quite nice.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 11:36:50 AM   
Kinkypupper


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My first concern is that apparently the age of 21 you have gone from "slave" to Dom back to slave.
Or is it that you are a "Dom" trained slave ?
At the age of 21 you have a lot of growing of "self" to do. You do not know who or what you truely are.
You need to re-write your "ad" to reflect any possable items that reflect a mature outlook and a realistic attitude of what YOU feel a slave should be and how you demonstrate it.
As you are looking for age specific you will also attract those who are possably even more clueless about who they really are.
You are a submissive seeking to be a slave, only a Master collaring you can make you a slave. Thus since you do not have a Master yet you are not a slave.
You need to show what YOU feel a slave is and what kind of Master you seek. In my opinion as a slave YOU muct accept that whatever your Master decides they will do to you tht you will accept, It takes that level of commitment. Altho its only hypotheticly speaking if you had a Master who wished to remove your clit, Would you hesitate and say "no" ?
If that be true then you do not have the level of commitment to be a slave beyond those wannabes. Admitted any Master who would wish that in my opinion does not have the care, concern for their slave as their highest priority, and there are a large amount of sick people out there in the guise of "Master" who should have been committed by the state. You need to grow older then your biological age to have that level of commitment and insite to be who you are and to avoid the bad portions.
That is what you need to bring out in a "ad". Not someones poetry.

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Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 12:13:25 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
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From: Rochester, NY
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You are a woman.  When looking for a man, the quality of your profile is quite meaningless when it comes to attracting suitors. 

As a woman, and an attractive one at that, you will be deluged with emails from men.  These replies will be from men who have read your profile, and those who have not.
They will be from men who match your criteria, and those who do not.  Spending your time going over the unsolicited replies you get to your profile is not the best use of your resources.

Instead, I would drop the poetry and most of the pictures.  One of your face and one of you in some public place, with normal people should do the trick.  A quick paragraph on the really important hot buttons (Poly? Bi? Slave? Experience?) with a note asking them to contact you if they want to more.

Then, I would go and read the forums and search the profiles of the men you think might be compatible.  Make the first contact.  It will save you much time in the long run.

Taggard


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My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 1:13:01 PM   
Stephann


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I mostly agree with Taggard.  If I was a woman, I'd have a near blank profile with the bare minimums, and only write people who I found interesting based on their comments in the forums; no pictures at all.  I might have two paragraphs that briefly say who I am, what I'm looking for, and what I enjoy.

Just me, though.  Good luck with your search.

Stephan


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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 1:18:59 PM   
mnottertail


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and for fucks sake, never use an anais nin quote.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/25/2007 1:28:23 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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Ron,

What about "There are very few human beings" - Anais Nin

(yes, I know, it's out of context.)

Step
(Abridged)

< Message edited by Stephann -- 7/25/2007 2:23:38 PM >


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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/26/2007 9:16:55 PM   
Jhin


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Joined: 11/19/2006
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One I've never used a anais nin quote, two it's my own poetry, three I'm not actualy actively seeking a dom, four, thanks guys really good advice for those who didn't critize my personality as a whole, five, i don't care to have a bare minimum profile it feel redundant and pointless, six if they can't read my info for my age location bi straight etc i really don't care to know them.. and btw I have gone from being a slave, to being a dom to being a salve, I've been in this for over 9 years. Yes I know that makes me 12 when I started and you better believe it.


thanks for the tips on grammar and I've moved the poem to the end and added a bit about myself.. lets see what that does :)

< Message edited by Jhin -- 7/26/2007 9:18:13 PM >

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/26/2007 9:21:36 PM   
Jhin


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Joined: 11/19/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EclipseAbove
You might want to re-word a few things or change your preferences.  Things like "I am not something to be locked up, I am an individual, and I will not be bound" and "Lives For: Bondage" could be confusing at first to some.



Perhaps, i mean that I'm not someone who likes cages, or chains, but light bondage I quite enjoy :)

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/26/2007 9:26:27 PM   
Emperor1956


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On the off chance that this thread is sincere, and not just a "look look LOOK AT ME" advertisement:
 
Actually, I think your profile is a bit discordant.  Why the fuzzy face photo and then several of your legs -- and no torso?  When I first saw your profile (before you edited it) I had to go up and check if you were a MTF TV!  The emphasis on legs, and not hips/waist/butt/breasts made me think you were. 
 
And your profile is all about you, isn't it?  What you demand, what you will and won't accept, what you think about that and this.  When I read a submissive's profile that has the "all about ME" feel..I skip.  And if I were looking (and I'm not) I'd skip it.  

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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/26/2007 9:35:44 PM   
domiguy


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Everything that is remiss in your profile could be easily corrected with a tit and gash shot.

Let me give you some advice....I was once the new girl on the block....But I persevered damn it....And I never came out here seeking acceptance or looking for advice on my profile...I did what every good sub should.... I simply sucked and fucked my way to the top.

If you are a woman....Than I still love you more than caitlyn or that evil kitnsol.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/26/2007 11:24:24 PM   
MasterMataeo


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here is my opinion,

if your into light bondage then state it ,, if your into the occosional dominatrix role over another person other than the Master that your looking for then state it,, save the poetry, get it published ,, but save some for him, and others close to you
but other than that it looks good,,

MasterMataeo

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/26/2007 11:42:36 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
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From: New Hampshire
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You lost me at; "not looking for an older man."

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/27/2007 12:41:44 AM   
MasterMataeo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

You lost me at; "not looking for an older man."


that caught my eye as well

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/27/2007 1:36:02 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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I was a slave at 12 too, I had to do beer runs for the old folks, occasionally take out the garbage.

cruel fates.

oh oh, forget it, I got allowance for that.

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RE: Looking for an opinion - 7/27/2007 6:19:46 AM   
adoracat


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Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

I mostly agree with Taggard.  If I was a woman, I'd have a near blank profile with the bare minimums, and only write people who I found interesting based on their comments in the forums; no pictures at all.  I might have two paragraphs that briefly say who I am, what I'm looking for, and what I enjoy.

Just me, though.  Good luck with your search.

Stephan


 
this is basically what i did,  other than the pictures....
 
and Sir found me interesting enough to message me, and see if i was what he wanted, also.
 
kitten

(in reply to Stephann)
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