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When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 8:15:26 AM   
matt4u


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		Is it really worth even pursuing it? You know if your just talking on email and cams that you are building a fantasy in your mind about that person that they wont be able to live up to. So is it even worth it?
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 8:18:32 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Instead of building a fantasy in your mind, why not arrange a face-to-face meeting and get that out of the way?  It may blow up in your face or it may be just what the doctor ordered.  You just have to figure out if it's a risk you're willing to take.

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Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 8:24:33 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		hmm.....meeting Robert was well worth it.  I will never wish I had not met him online, finally met him or finally collared him.  Every moment was worth it because we were in person, who we were behind a keyboard.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 9:20:22 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		If your honest with emails,on the phone and camming then its not a fantasy.

Is it worth it? Thats for you to decide.

IMO,it depends on the person.
If there is a great click and things are going well...
Then perhaps its worth the risk.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 10:01:40 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		matt If you feel someone is worth meeting then go for it. It may or may not work out, sadly we have no guarantees. The main thing is you will always wonder "what if", if you dont take a chance.
Like Earthycouple, i took a chance and it didnt work out long term, but i would do it all over again as in the short term, it was wonderful.



(in reply to MistressSassy66)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 10:21:47 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: matt4u

Is it really worth even pursuing it? You know if your just talking on email and cams that you are building a fantasy in your mind about that person that they wont be able to live up to. So is it even worth it?

I guess it depends on what you're looking for and how far you're willing to take it.

If you're someone who just wants online and cam, well then, it's obviously worth it if you find someone to indulge you.

If you want RT, then is the online and cam meeting your goals or is it a means to get to know one another while you plan a meeting and possibly make plans for one of the two of you to relocate?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 10:24:07 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: matt4u

Is it really worth even pursuing it? You know if your just talking on email and cams that you are building a fantasy in your mind about that person that they wont be able to live up to. So is it even worth it?


trust me when i say this, it's not (always) worth it.

my trip from GA to AZ was a complete disaster

<sometimes i wonder why i even post on some threads>


< Message edited by michaelOfGeorgia -- 7/27/2007 10:55:55 AM >

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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 10:25:07 AM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: matt4u

Is it really worth even pursuing it? You know if your just talking on email and cams that you are building a fantasy in your mind about that person that they wont be able to live up to. So is it even worth it?


The building of "a fantasy in your mind" is certainly a result, and for some, the point of online relationships. If you think this precludes anyone measuring up in real life, for me the question would be why are you in the online LD relationship then? Because the virtual relationship is satisfying the way it is? It seems to work that way for many. Others of us who want only real time interaction forgo anybody who isn't local, perhaps missing out on someone wonderful, or perhaps even "The One" because of geography.

Life is full of disappointments, but if you have the opportunity to erase a later-in-life "what if?" I, personally, would go for it.

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 10:41:16 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: matt4u
Is it really worth even pursuing it? You know if your just talking on email and cams that you are building a fantasy in your mind about that person that they wont be able to live up to. So is it even worth it?

I don't know if it always is and I can't speak for anyone else but it sure was "worth it" for us.  We chatted one day, spoke on the phone the next, the next, the next....you get the idea.  Before long, we exchanged pix and saw each other on camera.  We hadn't built up "fantasies," we had gotten to know each other.  Six weeks later, I drove 800 miles to spend a week and eventually moved to Him.  Been together 15 months now and it's heavenly.  So it was well worth it for us.

As far as building up a "fantasy in your mind about that person that they won't be able to live up to," as you said, doesn't that happen all the time even in face-to-face relationships?  It doesn't necessarily have one thing to do with being long-distance (unless you're speaking only of what they really look like or something of that nature).  It doesn't matter how much distance separates you if you there is lots of communication and a determination to work towards making it r/t.  It can definitely be worth it all........luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 10:53:57 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Congratulations to you luci, i`m glad it worked out okay.

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 11:24:01 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53
Congratulations to you luci, i`m glad it worked out okay.

Thank you so much, Politesub.  It definitely has.........luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 12:56:40 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		When you live in the sticks you might not have any other option. Some of my best slave and friends I’ve met online. I don’t have time to travel to munches and parties, so much anymore, therefore I reply on networking online quite a bit.
 
 
 
As with any type of dating you take it slow and get to know one another. Then you might arrange meetings if you find you are compatible online and on the phone. I wouldn’t pack up and move across country for someone I have never met. That’s just crazy, however if you plan to visit each other and spend time its like any other type of relationship.
 

 
The most important thing (and something I tell anyone that is pursing me) is to keep it all in perspective.  Don’t let fantasy rule and get to know each other on all levels, not just D/s. If your interest are compatible then you see what else you have in common and if you could be in a relationship long term with that person.

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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 1:32:55 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I think that is where people have to be very upfront, if all O/one wants is cam well it is what it is---if one wants real time then they have to be prepared for travel, etc. I am very honest, I will entertain any petition--however,  you as the submissive are responsible for travel costs here and if we are to become a W/we you have to relocate---that pretty much eliminates those who will say anything---.

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SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 1:35:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I would think it very much depends on the person in question.  Is it someone you click with so well on line that arranging to meet would be the next logical step?  Would I ever be happy with thinking I would never meet the person on the other end?  Not My style, personally.  I know I would have the goal of seeing that person in the flesh.

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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 2:55:58 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't do online relationships, period.

If someone, who lives far away, wants to be anything more than friends with me, they are going to have to get past that very quickly and be willing to first travel, then relocate.

There was a time I would have been willing to be the relocator, specifically for one woman, but now it just isn't veasible for a several reasons.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 6:14:31 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		No, it isn't. That's why I tell people that they sound great, and it's a pity they live in San Francisco, or Moscow, or wherever.

(in reply to matt4u)
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RE: When someone is to far away - 7/27/2007 6:22:28 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It depends on what the end result might be. Is there a posibility there wil be an end to the distance, or are you always going to be separated? If one or the other of you are willing to relocate, and it will not be a permanently long distance thing, then it can be very worth it.  Angel and I started out that way, he here in Nashville and I in Las Vegas.  We spent 3 months online before we met face to face, and i have been here in Nashville permanently since January and its working out wonderfully. 
There were others I considered, but their isituatons would not have allowed them to relocate in any measurable amount of time.  In a case like that, it really isnt worth it becasue you keep building and building and you run into a wall eventually of how far you can get long distance when you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My personal experience at least. If the online relationship is leading TO realtime then it can be very worthwhile to tough it out. If it is going to be in limbo permanently, then it really isnt.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to PairOfDimes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When someone is to far away - 8/24/2007 5:05:26 AM   
JustSomeDom


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Others of us who want only real time interaction forgo anybody who isn't local, perhaps missing out on someone wonderful, or perhaps even "The One" because of geography.


I agree with this wholeheartedly. Or maybe I don't understand it. It seems to say that pursuing that LD relationship can be worth it - for the right person. If this is what you mean, then, yes, I agree. Virtual relationships, to me, have one single point: to get the participants ready for a future real-time meeting. If this isn't your goal, then you should be able to get off on just sitting in front of a monitor. I can't.

I need the touch of real flesh, the feel that emanates from the warmth of a human body. Besides, the chair I use for my computer is quite cold on winter nights, and does nothing for me when I try to cozy up. lol

JSD

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When someone is to far away - 8/24/2007 10:03:07 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I believe in likelihoods more than absolutes. For sake of practicality, I lean towards people I can regularly see but draw no hard and fast rules. I take each scenario for what it is and adjust my expectations and how much I invest into the relationship based on the distance. If one comes across someone who seems to be a strong match, I think it's a good idea to pursue it. I think meeting in person is an important step to know whether or not one is a good match. And if after the meeting things continue to move up, relocation may be an option for one of the two involved.

To look at it outside the context of a long-term relationship or companion, if the level of play provides adequate satisfaction to each person and is not doing any harm (misled expectations), then I see value in it. If in such a scenario, I would be prepared that the other person might find similar compatibility locally, which may cause an end to the online relationship.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to JustSomeDom)
Profile   Post #: 19
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