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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm sorry he's been able to keep you dangling on the hook for so long, but that you're a completely willing accomplice in your own misery so there's not much to say there.

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I wouldn't email at all.  You've said what needs to be said.  It's over.  You're with someone else now.

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ORIGINAL: apettiger

i ended a 2 year relationship with my last One about 8 months ago. since then, W/we have attempted to renegotiate, or rather i should say that I have attempted to renegotiate.
He said i should send a list of the things i will and will not accept (the relationship turned abusive). i have sent Him this list at least 10  times and each time He said that for Him to consider it i had to re word some of it and resend it, so i did. and every time, He would say that there was something else that "offended" Him.
during all of all this i have let Him know that i am searching for Another.
after the last time He said i should resend the list, He said also that there was a timeline to His reciving it, but would not tell me when that was. so, apparently i did not meet it and, after over a month, He finally got back in touch with me.
it was too late, i have met Another and really like Him.
i told my last One that i wanted to remain friends with Him, but i could no longer consider getting back with Him.
i could hear the hurt in His voice, but am unsure if He was sad because "I" am no longer available to Him or, only because He was unable to keep a slave.
i am adding the email i sent to Him after O/our conversation:

Sir,
last night i listened while You spoke, and that is how it should be. but i need to let You know that i did not make my decision arbitrarily, i have spent the last 2 weeks fretting over it.
if i go with my heart and kneel for You, i will have a life where i can be no more than #3. there will be little or no affection, only orders and recriminations if those orders are not fulfilled. You do not listen to me when i try to let You know that something is distasteful or down right repulsive to me, or when i try to inform You of the things that will make me happy and content.
even though i DO have boundaries, You have always ignored them.
to You, nothing is red for me, even though i have many "red" activities. not only activities that You expect me to be active in, but also activities that You insist on being active in on Your own. such as trying to recruit my neighbors and family members.
i sent and re sent the list to You, just to have You refuse to discuss what was on it with me. i think (and this is only my opinion) You were using it to keep me on a string until You could make a decision about me, not because You honestly considered what was on it.
i am only human.
i made no secret of looking, while i was waiting for You to make up Your mind about whether or not You wanted me enough to implement some changes.
with my new "Thang" as You called Him, i am #1, there is no one in front of me. He shows me a great deal of affection, especially after a session and even after nothing more than sex.
He listens to me and asks my opinion on different subjects. He acknowledges my intelligence by asking for and listening to my input.
if i sound or act as though i am in distress, He immediately stops and makes sure i am o.k.
if He suggests something that i am not eager for, He either makes an attempt to convince me to try it, or, if i am completely against the idea, He will find someone else to do that kind of play with and not force me to do it.
He likes my big titties.
it doesn't bother Him to distraction that i am overweight. He understands that the happier i am the more weight i will lose.
You need to know, i have informed "Thang" that You have my heart, but i MUST be happy. not only for myself, but my family too. when i am upset, they become upset, (my child) especially needs me to be happy because without it, he is unhappy.
i really do not want You to go out of my life, i love You, but since You seem to only be interested in Your happiness and the happiness of Your wife and child. and not so much mine, it is up to me to find my happiness where i can.
You have no idea how much i wanted to find that happiness with You.
i will always love You and in my heart, You (are) my Master, but my service belongs to Another now.
                                             much love and regret,
                                              (edited name) tyger

i must say here, that He is the One i wanted to spend the rest of my life with, even tho He is married, with a small child, and has always said that He would never leave His wife. i love Him to this day, but feel that if i am not happy, i cannot make Him happy.
not to mention that i WILL NOT remain where i am mistreated or not appriciated.
what are the thoughts of the community on this? i know i have only skimmed the surface, but it would take more room than i have here to give a more complete view of the relationship.

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ORIGINAL: kossack

Doesn't it suck?  Breaking up is SO hard, and I'm not trying to minimize what you're feeling, but he sounds like a jerk.  Why does he have your heart?  I think you need to go through a period of saying he had my heart, and it is recovering and then just move on.  Don't think of him as the great love of your life--he doesn't deserve it.  If thang isn't it, maybe thang is a rebound relationship and you need to meet the love of your life.  But let him go.

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ORIGINAL: apettiger

it was not, not being first in His affection that bothered me, it was the fact that He refused to show me ANYaffection. and yes, from the beginning i knew i was not His first and that the relationship would be poly. i accepted that. what i didnt know or accept was that He would not give me any affection or aftercare (and He was VERY rough), He would take out all His frustrations of the day out on me and deny me ANY pleasure. the things i consider "red" were only considered by Him in the beginning, but after time, He thought He could beat me into accepting them.
to give some back story: i told Him in the beginning that i am NOT into beastiality, yet after about a year, He kept trying to force me to engage in sex with dogs. He even beat me because i refused. He began trying to Dom my vanilla female friends, and neighbors, which made me an outcast in my neighborhood, then He started on my female family members, a couple of who are barely legal. i attempted to talk to Him about what He was doing to my home life, but He refused to listen and said i should accept it if He had sex with my mother and sisters (not going to happen) and when it becamwe apparent that my needs and desires meant nothing to Him, i left. these are all things W/we talked about before i EVER submitted to Him and He accepted them,,,,,, then.
it did not start out this way, but this is the way it ended.
He also wanted to re-negotiate, it was not a clingy sub trying to reconnect to a lost Master.
love will make a P/person do strange things.

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave


im sorry I know this is gunna sound terrable but, WHY do you love him?? He sounds like a terrable person. I know it isnt always easy to controll who you love, but it CAN be controlled, if you cant controll your own emtions who can? (always thought it was silly when people said they cant controll who they love or how they feel, we do have controll over it we just chose to say we dont so we dont have to take repsonsability for our actions regarding those emotions)

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ORIGINAL: apettiger

it was not, not being first in His affection that bothered me, it was the fact that He refused to show me ANYaffection. and yes, from the beginning i knew i was not His first and that the relationship would be poly. i accepted that. what i didnt know or accept was that He would not give me any affection or aftercare (and He was VERY rough), He would take out all His frustrations of the day out on me and deny me ANY pleasure. the things i consider "red" were only considered by Him in the beginning, but after time, He thought He could beat me into accepting them.
to give some back story: i told Him in the beginning that i am NOT into beastiality, yet after about a year, He kept trying to force me to engage in sex with dogs. He even beat me because i refused. He began trying to Dom my vanilla female friends, and neighbors, which made me an outcast in my neighborhood, then He started on my female family members, a couple of who are barely legal. i attempted to talk to Him about what He was doing to my home life, but He refused to listen and said i should accept it if He had sex with my mother and sisters (not going to happen) and when it becamwe apparent that my needs and desires meant nothing to Him, i left. these are all things W/we talked about before i EVER submitted to Him and He accepted them,,,,,, then.
it did not start out this way, but this is the way it ended.
He also wanted to re-negotiate, it was not a clingy sub trying to reconnect to a lost Master.
love will make a P/person do strange things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: apettiger

it was not, not being first in His affection that bothered me, it was the fact that He refused to show me ANYaffection. and yes, from the beginning i knew i was not His first and that the relationship would be poly. i accepted that. what i didnt know or accept was that He would not give me any affection or aftercare (and He was VERY rough), He would take out all His frustrations of the day out on me and deny me ANY pleasure. the things i consider "red" were only considered by Him in the beginning, but after time, He thought He could beat me into accepting them.
to give some back story: i told Him in the beginning that i am NOT into beastiality, yet after about a year, He kept trying to force me to engage in sex with dogs. He even beat me because i refused. He began trying to Dom my vanilla female friends, and neighbors, which made me an outcast in my neighborhood, then He started on my female family members, a couple of who are barely legal. i attempted to talk to Him about what He was doing to my home life, but He refused to listen and said i should accept it if He had sex with my mother and sisters (not going to happen) and when it becamwe apparent that my needs and desires meant nothing to Him, i left. these are all things W/we talked about before i EVER submitted to Him and He accepted them,,,,,, then.
it did not start out this way, but this is the way it ended.
He also wanted to re-negotiate, it was not a clingy sub trying to reconnect to a lost Master.
love will make a P/person do strange things.

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ORIGINAL: apettiger
i say that i love him because it is true, but i am not stupid and am no longer with him nor am i going to go back to him. I LEFT HIM.
i am not listening to my heart anymore, this time i will listen to  my head and do the smart thing.
i could not control my emotions, but i CAN control my reaction to thoses emotions.