Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Etiquette


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Etiquette Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Etiquette - 6/29/2005 12:04:56 AM   
OralPassions


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I was respectfully questioned by email after adding a FemDom to my favorites list which I will show, with my responding email

I see you are a new "admirer".

I wish you guys would drop a note, but I'm sure you all have reasons for not doing so.

Sincerely,
Name

Firstly how many of you Mistress's would prefered to be dropped a short note when a submissive has somewhat of an informed profile which can be read? (feeling mine still needs more improvement)

My email response
[I did remove one short line that made no sense after I emailed to be honest. I should have done a 3rd proof read.] LOL

Dear Name
Thank you for your email with your personal suggestion. I am grateful for your forward attitude and what I think is proper etiquette for a submissive to do as you requested. I am what I consider an Inherently natural submissive and this realization has just come about this past week. I know for the first time in my life in my inner most self, what type of human I am and the joyous relief it has brought me. How confusing life has been all these years. I am new to collarme website and adding Femdom’s to my favorites list I feel the possibility of matching beliefs, desires, interest, ect… Majority of the profiles I have added request not to be emailed unless certain criteria’s met when doing so and I respect and understand why.
I am not using a one formatted email to send out. My belief is other than just out of respect each Femdom is there own character and how they’ve portray themselves in profile. I must take the time to write each Femdom personally and take the time to be articulate in transcribing my thoughts to each. Just how each Femdom/Domme/Mistress/Goddess deserves to be addressed as they desire, if this example kind of makes my point. I take considerable time to write one letter and today realized the amount of time it had taken me to write one response email.
My decision to pursue the BDSM Lifestyle as a submissive slave is one commitment of my free will. Knowing it is in my personal best interest to live a life of servitude will bring the inner fulfillment I have always desired. It is my privilege to have written you Name and it would be an honor if you so desire to read my profile. Only the force of nature knows what possibilities lay ahead for each of us Name. I have come to learn as long as I’m willing, honest and open minded will any or all of the paths be revealed to the fulfilling journey which now lies ahead. Possibly your email is an opening pathway “I’m looking”

Sincerely
OralPassions
Ray

Any thoughts, ideas or suggestions Mistress's?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 1:08:53 AM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline 		I appreciate seeing that someone made an effort to convey sincerity via a detailed profile. Someone who’s merely seeking a scene partner rarely invests that level of effort. That said, when the sub created his profile, he did so without knowing anything about me. Therefore, nothing in his profile addresses the content of MY profile! Indeed, nothing irks me more than someone who pastes his profile into an e-mail to me and thinks that’s an appropriate introduction.

As an example: my profile is explicit that FemDom is not a concept that I endorse. If someone sends me a boatload of prefabricated drivel about how he wants to worship me as his Goddess, it’s clear that he never bothered to read my profile and is indifferent to my needs.

Because I’m conducting a sincere search, which will hopefully lead me to a long-term sub, I don’t want “brief” inquiries from a prospective applicant. If someone wants a shot at getting his foot in my cyber-door, let alone into my real-time household, I expect a detailed think piece, speaking to the specifications at the end of my profile: what to include in one’s written introduction, and how to tackle that information. If someone is unable/unwilling to do this, then he will never be a good fit in my household.

I also take a gander at the person’s user name choice. Does it scream that his mind is service-oriented, or is he role-play/sex oriented? I don’t put all my stock in the name selected, as one can always try to erect a false façade. Sadly, online BDSM “dating”/”matching” services are flooded with people who will say and do anything to attract a dominant’s attention. Still, when you ponder many of the name selections in online services, it’s evident that serving a dominant is far from the person’s goal.

On a related note: I look at whether the person is writing faux upper case/lower case Internet protocol. It tells me that person knows how to conduct himself in a chat room, not in daily life, providing real-time service. It also bastardizes proper writing skills, which annoys me endlessly. Above all, I have no tolerance for an alleged sub who imposes protocol on me when I never agreed to accept his submission.

One final critical tip: Proofread what you write! Online discussion groups intermittently kick around pet peeves regarding introductions and profiles. When that happens, you’ll regularly find the thread ripping apart subs who can’t/won’t proofread what they wrote, or at least dump it into a spell checker. Beyond spelling, good punctuation creates a good impression, plus it facilitates your word flow by making your text comprehensible.

I hope this has been helpful to you and wish you the best in finding the Domme of your dreams.

~ Ti ~

(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 4:48:16 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Firstly how many of you Mistress's would prefered to be dropped a short note when a submissive has somewhat of an informed profile which can be read?


To be quite honest, I have better things to do with my time then look at who's on my admirer's list. I can be on someone's favourites for many reasons. I figure if someone wants to write to me, they'll do so when they are ready. If I happened to look at my admirer's list and saw someone's profile that I liked, I wouldn't be anything but direct with my attraction to their profile and make the first move. But I wouldn't do it in the fishing way that this Domme did to you. I'm not criticizing her style, I'm simply saying it isn't my style.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 6:14:52 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I amusingly check who's admiring me, but don't do more than that. Someone putting you on a list doesn't really mean much to me and it certainly doesn't make me feel like I need to do anything.

BTW no one likes receiving form letters.

(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 8:00:33 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Firstly how many of you Mistress's would prefered to be dropped a short note when a submissive has somewhat of an informed profile which can be read?


Personally, I don't mind getting a short note if the person sending it has a reasonably detailed profile. What I DO mind is getting a short note with absolutely nothing in it I can reply to. I've gotten so many that simply say "I'm a slave"... How am I supposed to respond to that??? Most of the time I simply write back and say "I'm happy for you". If there is someone worth taking the time to write to, ask a question or two, state your opinion on something and ask theirs. I think the reply you posted was wonderful, well thought out and worth reading.

Nothing makes a Domina... or anyone for that matter... feel more like just another face in the crowd then a "form letter".... To me that is saying that they wanted my attention but didn't feel me worthy of them taking a few minutes of their precious time to personalize a note to me.

So... yeah, I think you are doing it right. And by the way, I think you have a wonderful profile.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 2:48:11 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Oral Passions,

I would not worry about it. It seems you are very thoughtful and taking your quest and need for education in your newfound orientation seriously.
I have many boys who land on My Admirer's list. Once or twice a week I will take a gander at the profile. I do not write to them. I am sometimes puzzled as to why they would list Me and not write, but that is only in the case of an excellent profile which also indicates a willingness to relocate and an evident compatibility in many areas. Most of the time I just quickly read, and then don't make any assumptions that a boy will write to Me.
There may be many reasons why I have been bookmarked, and I don't presume to initiate a correspondence just because someone has shown a special interest in My profile. So you may receive a letter from time to time in response to the fact that you have listed a Domina as a favorite. you choose how to respond, and it seems that you already realize that you should be polite. But that is as far as any obligation on your part goes. In fact, it is to your credit that you feel any obligation at all. And if you ever receive any rude or demanding email, commanding you to write, you should not feel any obligation to do anything other than remove that Lady from your "Favorites" list! *W*
If I were to compose a letter because I was impressed with a profile, I would say so, rather than just question why boys put Me on their list in the first place without following up with an email.
you are doing just fine. Welcome to the boards, and I hope you will spend some time here. There is lots to read and lots to learn!
Good luck!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/29/2005 2:50:21 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 4:50:56 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		So, if I place a Domme on my favorites list, she is notified?

I'm sure glad I read this thread, or I may not have learned this fact for a while! ...

subfever


(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 5:02:51 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So, if I place a Domme on my favorites list, she is notified?

She is not notified, but if she clicks on Admirers, she will see who has added her to their favorites list.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 6:31:24 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		subfever, you have the same capability to see your admirers list also...

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 6:49:32 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		Ahhh... so then this is an equal opportunity place! ...

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 6:53:04 PM   
LadyWings


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I for one, do prefer the politeness, and the time taken by a submissive to indeed drop Me a note....I find it very rude to simply add Me. without My consent, without a personal introduction, and without finding out why a particular sub or slave is interested in Me as Domme. I am NOT a grocery store item you can simply put in your cart boys....I am a Dominant WOman, and your manners speak volumes as to who you are, and what you truly do stand for.

Lady Wingws

(in reply to OralPassions)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 6:54:03 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Yep, although your choice of friends helps at times also,

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 7:06:05 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyWings

I for one, do prefer the politeness, and the time taken by a submissive to indeed drop Me a note....I find it very rude to simply add Me. without My consent, without a personal introduction, and without finding out why a particular sub or slave is interested in Me as Domme. I am NOT a grocery store item you can simply put in your cart boys....I am a Dominant WOman, and your manners speak volumes as to who you are, and what you truly do stand for.

Lady Wingws


Wow, welcome to the boards...no disrespect intended, but, why in the world would they need your permission to be added to their admirer's list? If I may quote some of your profile:

quote:

By the By..Do have a look at My journal below...there may be some interesting information in there for you..or, if I am amused, perhaps an anecdote or two..a quote, a bit of inspiration.....or just a piece of My Mind.


Mayhaps they are adding you to their admirer's list to be able to look at your journal on a regular basis since you have invited them to peruse it....mayhaps they have added you to their list so that they may study your profile as they formulate in their mind over a time how they want to approach you to let you know respectfully of their interest, rather than send you a one line email. Maybe they just are interested in you, and want to be able to look at you another time. Just a suggestion, IMO, but if you have a problem with people putting you in their admirers list without Your express permission, you might want to list that on your profile or journal so they do not commit a transgression towards You.

(in reply to LadyWings)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 7:11:09 PM   
sudja


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyWings

I for one, do prefer the politeness, and the time taken by a submissive to indeed drop Me a note....I find it very rude to simply add Me. without My consent, without a personal introduction, and without finding out why a particular sub or slave is interested in Me as Domme. I am NOT a grocery store item you can simply put in your cart boys....I am a Dominant WOman, and your manners speak volumes as to who you are, and what you truly do stand for.

Lady Wingws


I use that option as a placeholder so I won't forget the names of those whose posts I enjoy and/or have determined are too absurd for words.

That way I don't have to have deja vu all over again when I run into a particularly good series of posts, or a particularly obvious jerk.

Just because somebody adds you to their "favorites" list doesn't mean they are interested in you as a Domme. Heck, they might use that list to rule folks out.

sudja

(in reply to LadyWings)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 7:23:12 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

Yep, although your choice of friends helps at times also,


Yup... especially friends in high places!!! ...

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 7:24:30 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sudja


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyWings

I for one, do prefer the politeness, and the time taken by a submissive to indeed drop Me a note....I find it very rude to simply add Me. without My consent, without a personal introduction, and without finding out why a particular sub or slave is interested in Me as Domme. I am NOT a grocery store item you can simply put in your cart boys....I am a Dominant WOman, and your manners speak volumes as to who you are, and what you truly do stand for.

Lady Wingws


I use that option as a placeholder so I won't forget the names of those whose posts I enjoy and/or have determined are too absurd for words.

That way I don't have to have deja vu all over again when I run into a particularly good series of posts, or a particularly obvious jerk.

Just because somebody adds you to their "favorites" list doesn't mean they are interested in you as a Domme. Heck, they might use that list to rule folks out.

sudja



So sudja, since you are not on my admirers list, that must mean you don't think I am an exceptionally good poster, or a particularly obvious jerk. I guess I'm also not on the list to be ruled out either.......whew!!!!!! What a relief, apparently to you I am wonderful middle of the road, lmao(walks away choking because my tongue is stuffed in my cheeks, smiles)

(in reply to sudja)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/29/2005 7:28:06 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think Goddess is as high as it gets, smiles........

(in reply to subfever)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/30/2005 3:07:17 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyWings

I for one, do prefer the politeness, and the time taken by a submissive to indeed drop Me a note....I find it very rude to simply add Me. without My consent, without a personal introduction, and without finding out why a particular sub or slave is interested in Me as Domme. I am NOT a grocery store item you can simply put in your cart boys....I am a Dominant WOman, and your manners speak volumes as to who you are, and what you truly do stand for.

Lady Wingws

==========================================
i do it because it is a reminder to me who i want to email later. that is all there is to it.
if someone is offended because i like their ad, i cannot help that. i feel they should be happy someone found their ad and liked it enough to bookmark it.
not like some i have seen that have not checked their mails dated back as far as months or a year ago. why leave an ad up if you are not using it?

thanks

(in reply to LadyWings)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/30/2005 3:10:43 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

I think Goddess is as high as it gets, smiles........



quote:

I think Goddess is as high as it gets, smiles........


chuckling....i found one Domme in calif called Herself Grand Domme, and one called Herself Grand Dame, or some such. you'd think english royalty just walked in by some i found out there.

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Eti... - 6/30/2005 4:48:02 AM   
sudja


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692


quote:

ORIGINAL: sudja


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyWings

I for one, do prefer the politeness, and the time taken by a submissive to indeed drop Me a note....I find it very rude to simply add Me. without My consent, without a personal introduction, and without finding out why a particular sub or slave is interested in Me as Domme. I am NOT a grocery store item you can simply put in your cart boys....I am a Dominant WOman, and your manners speak volumes as to who you are, and what you truly do stand for.

Lady Wingws


I use that option as a placeholder so I won't forget the names of those whose posts I enjoy and/or have determined are too absurd for words.

That way I don't have to have deja vu all over again when I run into a particularly good series of posts, or a particularly obvious jerk.

Just because somebody adds you to their "favorites" list doesn't mean they are interested in you as a Domme. Heck, they might use that list to rule folks out.

sudja



So sudja, since you are not on my admirers list, that must mean you don't think I am an exceptionally good poster, or a particularly obvious jerk. I guess I'm also not on the list to be ruled out either.......whew!!!!!! What a relief, apparently to you I am wonderful middle of the road, lmao(walks away choking because my tongue is stuffed in my cheeks, smiles)


LOL! :)

Don't choke. There are also many posters I have just not come across before. You are clearly discerning, with a good sense of humor. ;)

That said, when I said "rule out" I meant a mental check list of "No, they aren't a Dom/me in my book, let's see what other dorky things they say down the line."

Anybody who wants to pretend they don't do that, whether "looking" or not, is doing just that, pretending.

I also enjoy bookmarking folks (which is how I think of it) so that I can say, "Mistress, take a look at this." or "What do you think of this?" about certain topics here and there.

(We were discussing folks who use "applications" just last night, for example.)

sudja

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Mistress's your thoughts & views on this online Etiquette Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094