quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Christ, you guys are so aggressive.  Like can't we all just get along?

Anyway, I'm laughing all the way to the pussy.  I take all the energy that other men waste on fights with other men, and use it to fuck women instead.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Focus,

In other words, you have no idea what I am talking about and are just trying to fake it.  I remember when I was like you, bitter and angry at the world.  Lucky for me I grew up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Faramir,

Good eyes, it is indeed ironic that a complete ass like I was could turn into such a talented dominant as myself.  Thanks for the compliment!  Glad to give hope to people like yourself and Focus.

quote:

ORIGINAL: saturnpie

Hi everyone, I've enjoyed posted sparingly and lurking in the forums very much, so here is my first thread.

Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been getting into the BDSM in the bedroom, but he feels like he's "doing all the work" (me being the sub, him being the dom).

I can completely understand where he's coming from. If he's got me tied up, there's not much I can do. I was wondering, what suggestions do you have that could include more actions that are pleasurable to him? On thing I do have him do are get on top of me and have me give him a blow job... Things maybe of that kind of manner is what I'm looking for.

And another quick question: is there a good website that sort of sets up a scene for beginners to try? I have looked at beginner BDSM websites, but all they talk about is safety (I get the idea... SSC and everything). I suppose I could look up some lit, but I am hoping there's something specifically aimed at beginners with how-tos.

Thanks for the input!

quote:

ORIGINAL: subitodolce

You can do all sorts of things to "take the wheel". Give him back/shoulder rubs, pamper him in the shower, draw up a hot bath (if he's into that) after he's had a long day. Rub his feet. Let him lay back on the bed whilst you cover his body in kisses (and heck, be a tease! Let your hair/nose/lips brush against him in all the right places, but spend your time working up to a BJ).

Do you have a cuffs set? Tie yourself up! Totally surprise him some night with a towel on the nightstand with his/your favorite instruments of play, and be padlocked/bound when he comes in for bed. So what if your ties aren't the most secure...if anything, tie 2 legs and an arm to the bedpost, and have a 4th tie ready for him to finish the job. Satin/silk belts are wonderful for this :-) Put on a cuffs set and be kneeling on the bed (be blindfolded, too!) waiting on him.

Do you have a basement with rafters? Or a way to suspend yourself? Leave a note on the table (or if he's home, slip him an envelope) and tell him to meet you downstairs in 15 minutes. Loop some rope through the ceiling and bind your hands over you (if you have cuffs and padlocks, it's really easy to tie off a loop through the ceiling, put your hands on either side of the loop, and padlock your wrists together so the loop holds up your hands). Have your toys set out for him, and be totally helpless by the time he comes down those stairs.

What about non-bedroom things? Fold his laundry, iron his work shirts/pants. Offer to cook dinner (or to clean up after he cooks). Wash his dishes, pick up after his mess in the living room. Wash his car, or take it to get the oil changed (double-check to make sure he's not insistant on doing the car things himself. Some guys are).

You don't have to be a top/Dom to take the initiative to initiate activity. :-) Surprise him!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DVS

quote:

ORIGINAL: subitodolce

You can do all sorts of things to "take the wheel". Give him back/shoulder rubs, pamper him in the shower, draw up a hot bath (if he's into that) after he's had a long day. Rub his feet. Let him lay back on the bed whilst you cover his body in kisses (and heck, be a tease! Let your hair/nose/lips brush against him in all the right places, but spend your time working up to a BJ).

Do you have a cuffs set? Tie yourself up! Totally surprise him some night with a towel on the nightstand with his/your favorite instruments of play, and be padlocked/bound when he comes in for bed. So what if your ties aren't the most secure...if anything, tie 2 legs and an arm to the bedpost, and have a 4th tie ready for him to finish the job. Satin/silk belts are wonderful for this :-) Put on a cuffs set and be kneeling on the bed (be blindfolded, too!) waiting on him.

Do you have a basement with rafters? Or a way to suspend yourself? Leave a note on the table (or if he's home, slip him an envelope) and tell him to meet you downstairs in 15 minutes. Loop some rope through the ceiling and bind your hands over you (if you have cuffs and padlocks, it's really easy to tie off a loop through the ceiling, put your hands on either side of the loop, and padlock your wrists together so the loop holds up your hands). Have your toys set out for him, and be totally helpless by the time he comes down those stairs.

What about non-bedroom things? Fold his laundry, iron his work shirts/pants. Offer to cook dinner (or to clean up after he cooks). Wash his dishes, pick up after his mess in the living room. Wash his car, or take it to get the oil changed (double-check to make sure he's not insistant on doing the car things himself. Some guys are).

You don't have to be a top/Dom to take the initiative to initiate activity. :-) Surprise him!

Sounds like great advice, but just be sure he's in the house and willing, when you do these things.  It would be terrible to get yourself ready for his arrival home and for some reason he be late, or not able to show up for hours.  There you are, suspended from the basement rafters, unable to free yourself.  Not a pretty picture.

And, if you do decide to suspend yourself, remember not all handcuffs are made for such things.  Your own body weight will cause metal cuffs to cut into your skin and that can actually cut off circulation, too.  Not something you want to do.

Now, if you want to use something  like this as a makeshift deal, where you aren't actually suspended, but your arms are locked above your head, metal cuffs might not be so bad.  Leather or Velcro is even better, because they will give a little where metal won't.

But, for anything that is going to carry your body weight, you should use the proper type of cuffs.  There are some made just for this job.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Faramir,

Good eyes, it is indeed ironic that a complete ass like I was could turn into such a talented dominant as myself.  Thanks for the compliment!  Glad to give hope to people like yourself and Focus.

No, no, that's not an example of irony.  That's another "i" word, where someone has to talk about how great they are in a stream of constant self-reassurance...

Oh yea - .  "Insecure."