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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/1/2005 5:37:31 AM

RiotGirl

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collars only mean what the people involved want them to mean and have the significance that those people put upon it

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/1/2005 6:29:50 AM

flowerchild

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/28/2005
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58

We are not heavily into the D/s protocol. There are times when He is Master and I am sub but other times when we are just a happy couple in love. Though we live in the same house together we don't live D/s 24/7 even though I serve as His carer. I have His heart, I do not need a collar

I have to say I agree with you there. Due to our situation there are times when we are just a normal vanilla couple and no body knows what goes on behind closed doors. We've been together for 8 years now and He just collared me this week, I've been wearing his engagement ring for 7 years. The collar to me is about a deeper level of submission. He chooses when I will have the collar on and it signals to me that there is no arguing just submission. I can reach this level of submission without a collar, but I find the feeling very erotic as it is not so tight that I can't breath but just tight enough that I can feel it there. I don't look down on anyone who doesn't want to be collared, it's not for everyone, I personally don't get fire play or cutting but that doesn't mean someone else doesn't love it! He is going to buy me a choker to wear for everyday since I simply can not wear my formal collar outside the house. :)

_____________________________

Wildly my mind beats against you, yet my soul obeys.

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/1/2005 8:28:13 AM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
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The collar, in my opinion, is absolutely meaningless without the commitment from all parties invloved. Not commitment, as in monogamy, but rather a commitment to do what you said you were going to do when you came into the relationship, commitment to learn from your mistakes, to grow, and commitment to support each other in their role, whether that role be vanilla Mom and Pop raising the kids, or as Master and slave.

If there is no commitment behind the issuance or wearing of the collar, then it's just some other piece of fetish wear to add to a toy bag.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/1/2005 2:35:27 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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In on-line chat, which is where i first began my exploration, we called em "velcro" collars -- on and off and on again so quick it made my head spin...oy!!

i've only worn one collar, and it meant the world to me, but then again, so did the man who placed it around my neck.

Just like a wedding ring i think a collar is all that we want it to be, from little commitment to a lifetime joy..all depends on he/she who wears it and he/she who gives it...

imho

cheers
jimini

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"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/1/2005 11:57:52 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

Im curious if collars are important as people make out? I understand its meant to mean ownership etc but most often or not it can only be worn at home as many people need to keep good public image.

Take for example a training collar... Is one ever fully trained?
****since i never have had, a training collar, i myself feel it is redundant.
fully trained? what do you want to be trained as? a sex slave? a sissyslave? a play slave? or like me, solely domestics?
i came into this, already trained, as a domestic. after doing pro commercial accounts, and private accts, there is not much more i am can trained to. i know my job as a domestic, better than some dommes do.

Sure people will do exactly whats told but even then they will still learn things.

***still learn? not unless there is a better way to hand scrub kitchen floors on your hands and knees.

Im expecting some negative feed back etc but any comments about the subject would be interesting...
******negative? naw dont think so. not from me. you're okay.

Thanks for your time

ImTempting

the wolf

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/2/2005 10:13:06 AM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
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Since Master has given me a training collar it means the world to me. Having it around my neck makes me feel like she is with me even when she is not in my presence. It's a reminder of her love for me. Wearing it feels as if she is wrapped aound me and a part of me.

The other day we went to the lake and i got very sunburned. my neck was very sore and she asked me to take it off. i made puppy dog eyes before doing so because i'd rather had left it on a delt with the soreness. i held that collar and slept with it all night long.

-carolyn

(in reply to lonewolf05)

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/3/2005 4:36:38 PM

esclava

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/1/2004
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a collar is important to me perhaps due to my fascination with restraint, it has a profound effect on my mentally.

i guess it depends on the invidual.

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/3/2005 4:49:37 PM

Lordandmaster

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Joined: 6/22/2004
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COLLARS ARE VERY IMPORTENT IF YOU OWN A DOG

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/3/2005 4:52:48 PM

LadyAngelika

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Stop terrorising the newbies LaM! :P

- LA

*edited cos I wanted to stick my tongue out at LaM

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 7/3/2005 4:53:36 PM >

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/11/2005 2:18:49 PM

ricanmami678

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Joined: 6/23/2005
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i mean you may never be fully trained but it is up to the Master/Sir whether he thinks you have completed your training for him/her. yes if you get out of a relationhip you have to train again because every Master/Sir is diffrent and will train you diffrent. so a collar to me is just somethign that is a physical thing and an emotional thing to me a collar is like a engagement ring because i give my self to him completely

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/12/2005 2:03:57 PM

naughtinicki

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Joined: 6/20/2005
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For me my collar is something dear to me, and when its placed on me, it affects my head space dramatically.

I live away from my Master and my hubby although tolerant of many things I do in the scene away from him and my children, does not allow me to wear anything such as this permantly.

So for me wearing my collar has a deep affect and its removal when it has to come off is just as deep felt.

I am also proud to wear it out in public, and it does for a large part give me some security when among other BDSM people. Many guys see it and know without even talking to me that I belong to another ( my definition here not anyone else's).

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/12/2005 2:22:39 PM

bottominwa

Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
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i have a closet of "play" collars....All of these have their time and place. But i have two wearable signs of ownership...a wedding ring, and on my right index finger a Bedouin slave ring bought for me by Master outside Tikrit. i wear both of these daily...one as a symbol of Our marriage and the other as a symbol of my service. Neither one has more meaning than the other..they have different meanings to me. And at times i think the one on my right hand i feel deeper...at other times the one on the left....but such is the nature of our relationship, in it's duality.
Here's a picture of both as on me daily...be nice i need a manicure but am packing up for the big move...so put it off this week.

sabrina King

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by bottominwa -- 7/12/2005 2:34:47 PM >

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/12/2005 3:52:49 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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A collar only means something if it means something; in other words, lots of people, even vanillas are using collars these days.

Currently, I don't have a collar. I do have a Sir. I don't think I'd feel any differantly about him if I had one. Well, ok, I probably would feel differantly, but not about him or our relationship. Collars to me are symbolic and are there to represent feelings you can't see.(well, if you look closely enough you should see them manifest themselves, but you know what I mean...) My feelings wouldn't change if I had one. (wonders if this makes any sense....)

Lily

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~Dr. Seuss~

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/13/2005 11:31:52 AM

spliffsmum

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Joined: 2/3/2005
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It took several months before my Master decided I was ready to be collared. I now have four; an antique pearl necklace that I wear every day to work, a soft leather buckled collar that I sleep in and wear with my Master in vanilla company, a lockable leather collar that I wear in private or at fetish parties and a dog collar for when I am not worthy of wearing the others. Thankfully the last one is very rarely taken out! For me they are a constant reminder that I am His property.

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RE: Collars. Important or not? - 7/14/2005 7:25:24 AM

IronBear

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Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Collars! I’ve lost track of the debates and discussions I’ve had with people about that simple yet powerful word.

It is reasonable to say that a collar is only what the people concerned want it to be. My collars are not necessarily the same as those of a non Gorean Master. So what is a collar and why do I use them? To start with, I am a Gorean Master who follows Gorean principles in real life. Thus I don’t have the same collars to use as a non Gorean Dominant. I only have two collars. The “House Collar” and a “Personal Collar”. Essentially, the “House Collar” means what it says ~ the slave (male or female) is owned by my home (The House of Iron Bear aka The Bear Cave). Whereas, a “Personal Collar” shows that a specific Master or Mistress owns the slave. I guess we all know about “Personal Collars” irrespective if they are used on a submissive or a slave, so lets deal with “House Collars” as I use them. Initially they are used as a “Probationary Collar” where the sub/slave and My home are getting used to each other and seeing of the relationship will work. Another term can be in non Gor relationships, the “Collar of Consideration”. Yet the “House Collar is more than that, it also encompasses the “Training Collar”. With a “House Collar”, the sub/slave is under the direct authority of my Wife (Lady Neets), who is Mistress of Slave Pens, yet under Gorean Ideology I have the final say in all matters. Complicated? Not at all. It just means that a submissive or slave can be given the basic training of what we expect, including the formal serves and postures which tend to be Gorean as well as the chance to be evaluated.

So yes, Collars are important for me and are respected especially when we are out at a gathering etc. I am very protective towards my family and anybody wearing a “House Collar”, my “Personal Collar” or Lady Neets’s “Personal Collar” is considered to be family.

As for no wearing collars in public, there are indeed when they are not appropriate in the usual form, however with a little thought and some small expected and a trip to the jewellers, a “Social Collar” may be purchased.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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