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Questions - 7/31/2007 12:29:21 AM   
Dddylilgrl


Posts: 56
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline 		 I have some concerns, and a few questions. One is my Daddy wants to show some stranger on the net pictures of my bare ass and two He wants to spank others and I dont like the idea of that because I see it as a sexaul thing. Any suggestions? I have talked with Him about it but I want to hear what others have to say.

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that should never be demanded.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 1:01:50 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		well, my answer would depend on what he said to your concerns. For me, in my relationship only, it's a deal breaker if he insists on doing things with others I do not wish him to do, so if he said tough deal with it, I'd tell him in no uncertain terms, if he wishes to do .... with others he may do so as a single man.

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 1:13:01 AM   
Dddylilgrl


Posts: 56
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline 		Well He siad that its his choice to spank other ppl and not mine. So I have no say in the matter. 

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that should never be demanded.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 1:24:01 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		You may not have a say if he spanks others but you sure as hell have a say if you stay in the relationship. Unless you've set having others or photos being shared as a hard limit, I do feel he has the right to include others and share non face photos. But I also feel you have the right to vote with your feet and find another Dominant if you are not satisfied with the way things are.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 1:54:28 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		then you either deal with it, or vote to leave. edited to add, on the off chance there is ever a next time in your search, next time list these things as hard limits right up front in writing in the profile, and make sure the potential dom understands and has no desire to spank or play with others.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 7/31/2007 1:58:13 AM >

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 3:03:44 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		What is the negative outcome you fear? Take some time and think about what is the fear trigger in this situation before you make any decisions.  Look at this as an opportunity to grow.

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 3:47:49 AM   
bubbles4Daddy


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dddylilgrl

I have some concerns, and a few questions. One is my Daddy wants to show some stranger on the net pictures of my bare ass and two He wants to spank others and I dont like the idea of that because I see it as a sexaul thing. Any suggestions? I have talked with Him about it but I want to hear what others have to say.


It really all depends on the dynamics of your relationship and what you agreed to before he became your Daddy.  This is something that you do not agree with, did you speak up before you started this relationship? Another words, did he know this was a limit for you?

In the long run though, read your siggy,  what is given can be taken away.  I can tell you that if I were told 'I had no say in the matter', I would be looking for a new Daddy.

You asked my opinion, now have it.  Good luck to you.

bubbles

_____________________________

sugar and spice make everything nice!

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 3:53:33 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Do YOU want some stranger on the net seeing pix of your bare ass?  If so, then what's the harm?  If not, then you're going to have to sit down with your Daddy and tell him that naked pictures of you floating around in cyberspace isn't something you are comfortable with and, if necessary, it's a deal breaker.  Course, there's so much free porn on the net, I don't (and never have) understood the fascination of putting yourself out there.

As far as the spanking thing goes...does he see it as sexual?  If not, then I'd say deal with it.  If he does, then you may have to decide if you want to stay with him.

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 4:07:42 AM   
georgejames68


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/28/2006
Status: offline 		You claim to be mature and responsible
Quote
I am immature or irresponsible. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
Surely you were mature enough to talk this sort of thing over in exquisite detail before you entered the relationship and agreed on such serious matters??? If so then you have to live with it, if not then you were not mature and you have the decision to make whether or not you can live with this situation or simply own up to immaturity for entering a serious relationship without proper precautions and void your "slave" claim by leaving! I'm assuming that your declaration of being collared means you accepted slavery.

I'd also like to know how it is your taking post dated photos 2008 in 2007. (I know how..... but doing so opens up a whole rat's nest of misrepresentation and potential lies later on down the road!!) If you would like to pretend maturity and honesty, at least adjust the date on your camera!!!

George

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 6:17:57 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		He's right, it is his choice if he wants to spank someone else. You have the choice of staying with him or not. If spanking another person bothers you that much, do what you gotta do. Otherwise, get over it.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 6:36:01 AM   
goodgirl85


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		You DO have a say.

I don't even like for people to have "normal" pictures of me let alone nude ones. But I do make sure any ones I may share after building up trust, don't include my face. If you don't want YOUR body floating around the net, then he has no right to send them at all.

And about the spanking others, You also have a say in that. To include others (together or seperately) is for BOTH parties to decided. So, if you told him that you don't want other people involved then no one else should be involved. If your limits have changed for whatever reason ( and it is possible to change your mind on this one, trust me i know) then you need to sit down and say so.

It is said that anything a sub/slave asks/wants of/from her Dom is simply a simply a request. However, the Dom then has a responisbilty to take into consideration your well being and heart, and to cherish the gift you gave him (which would yourself)- not to abuse it.

I am so sick of hearing "I'm a Dom, That gives me the right to do what I want" IT DOESNT!!! As a Dom... wait not going to hijack the thread will post new one.

girl

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 6:39:04 AM   
goodgirl85


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		O and to George james, maybe its a new camera and she hasn't figured it out yet, maybe its not her camera. But I think a monkey could figure out that the pic is not from 12/30/08..... including for all of next year. How rude it is to say she is being dishonest because the date on her pic says the wrong year.

girl

(in reply to goodgirl85)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 7:00:51 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Agreed with Discipline.  Obviously this was something you both neglected to communicate and discuss when you were getting to know eachother before making a commitment.  Now you have to backtrack.  If this is something seriously important to him, and something you seriously can't be fulfilled in- then the answer seems clear, if not easy. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to goodgirl85)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 7:21:15 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm sick of hearing "submission is a gift". What a load of horseshit.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to goodgirl85)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 7:58:32 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		If exhibitionism was discussed and agreed upon, that is one thing. But posting it on the internet? I do believe one must have consent to do that to anyone. If you want it to be a hard limit, mean it. Don't forget if you do allow him to post it, once it is out there, it is out there forever. When you have children one day they don't want to know that mom's bumm been on the www since 2007. I think about that a lot, "what if my kids by fluke read something I wrote or viewed an indecent picture of me?" I watch what I say and what I do., at all times., and try to keep it light.  

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 9:08:02 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He has the right to do what he wants including violating your hard limits to get you to leave. You have the right to do what you want, including leaving. Decide what you want and don't accept anything less.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 12:12:25 PM   
Dddylilgrl


Posts: 56
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline 		Yes it is a new camera and I havent figured it out yet.

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that should never be demanded.

(in reply to goodgirl85)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 12:15:37 PM   
Dddylilgrl


Posts: 56
Joined: 7/20/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for your responses, for my Daddy its not sexaul. This si some thing thatI will have to think about.

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that should never be demanded.

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 12:23:51 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		If you are worried about his spakng others becasue YOU see it as sexual and HE does not, then you are going to have far more isues down the line. You cannot limit his nonsexual interactions with other people. It is his choice to interact with them as he sees fit. You and he are both adults.
However, if it is that major a issue, then you may have to move on. It sounds to me more like you have a problem with jealousy than he does with interaction. As for sending your pictures to other, again, if you allowed him to take the pictures then you may not have much asy in what he does with them. You can object, but if you truly arent comfortable with his sending them off, then just dont give him access to any.  This is a trust issue. Personally, I enjoy showing off my boys. However, the pictures I show off are ones they are OK with others seeing.

You two need to have a long talk about what you expect and what he expects. It sounds to me like there are major things being miscommunicated here, and until you are on the same page, you are goigot have nothing but trouble.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Questions - 7/31/2007 12:57:13 PM   
cumulus


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		(super sub sister says,)
You don't have to put up with that, girlfriend! Give him a backsnap and kick him to the curb!
 
(Actual grownup in the lifestyle says,)
Three Choices:
 
a) Renegotiate the relationship to suit your reticence.
b) Leave the relationship.
c) Shut up and do what you're told.
 

_____________________________

Regards,
Cumulus

(in reply to Dddylilgrl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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