RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting

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RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 9:12:55 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I am well aware that it's not for everyone, but you are looking for what I managed to find.

I looked nilla first, told JL about my interest in BDSM and luckily, he was interested too.

We are a much in love, engaged and practicing Switch couple.

Try looking for compatibility before looking for D/s.

i think that is a good point well said. in that is where balance is and people will find peace and be a lot more happy

(in reply to Aine)

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Post #: 21

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 9:22:01 AM

MistressCass

Posts: 80
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saucymanx

Hi folks, I've only played online and am set to meet my first dom. I'm scared senseless...he's demanding complete
obedience right off the bat and I trust in stages. I don't know him so naturally don't trust him...he says that's an
'inner battle' I have to overcome.

While I don't want to seem difficult, I don't want to wind up on the evening news, either.

Any suggestions for how a first scene with a virgin bdsm sub should unfold?

thanks
sm

Yes....I have a billion.

First find a Dom.
Second talk to him about your fears and doubts
Third NEVER EVER submit to someone who demands it before earning your respect and trust.
(Enough of the numbers) Someone suggested that you search on first meeting within the forum.....so do I, because anything I would tell you is probably already typed out already somewhere else on this forum.

But I will second everyone's advice about playing on first meeting.   A first meeting is just a "getting to know you" session.   What if his breath really stinks and it makes you gag?   Or his arms are to short to reach around his belly to give the spanking he is promising?   And why spank til you cry?   What's that about? You don't want to be able to sit for a week?   Do you even know how easily you bruise? Will your skin take that kind of punishment? Wouldn't it be wiser to build up to that type of play, while learning those answers along the way?

The good news is, Doms of this nature rarely show up at the meeting place.   They call or message you days later saying "something came up".....it's usually an emergency at work, even if all they do is clean gym floors.

Do you have a phone number for this Dom? If he won't give you a phone number, how will you two connect if something does come up at the last minute?

SSC.....do you know what that means?   The first "S" Is for SAFE......and what he is proposing it NOT SAFE.....standing up for your personal safety is not being an unruly or disobedient sub....it's being a responsible adult.....and you have to be a responsible adult before you can consider surrendering anything to anyone....especially someone who DEMANDS something from you before he knows you well enough to know your limits, strengths and weaknesses

(in reply to saucymanx)

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Post #: 22

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 9:24:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: saucymanx
THANK YOU for your advice, folks. I really appreciate the perspective and intervention.

Every inner instinct was screaming RUN!

Thank you for the link to Seattle groups. From now on I will let my naturally circumspect nature guide me.
It's sad, really... being a 'big girl' I was so thrilled that he supposedly found me attractive (and he's gorgeous)
that I didn't think.

sm

Now you need to work on changing that "run" instinct into a "Maturely and reasonably gather all information and make a well informed well guided independent choice."

Change "chickening out" into "Recognizing that this situation is not right for me and my fulfillment and choosing a different way."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to saucymanx)

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Post #: 23

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 9:29:12 AM

saucymanx

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/29/2007
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He said he would not show ID, that "I had a lot to learn". Nuff said...

From now on I'm doing everything in person

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 24

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 9:35:10 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
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From all I have read, my first thought is that he's not the appropiate Dom for what you are seeking. A Dom who is better suited should take into serious consideration your trust issues and work within that parameter to help foster a more solid basis for you to give more trust then you thought possible. One can't expect to have total trust right at the beginning, trust is a quality which neds to grow wwith positive guidance in order to flourish.At least this is my two cents worth *grins*

_____________________________

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(in reply to saucymanx)

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Post #: 25

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 9:43:55 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
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Well now, online is still a good place to meet people. It is just wise keep in mind that there are other places.

Just so you know, not everyone who doesn't participate in the community is automatically a fake. It could be that because of their career they don't feel secure enough to go to munches and play parties. Or maybe they just moved to the area and didn't know there was a community, or didn't know how to find one. Now personally I prefer play partners to ethier already be part of the community, or willing to be. But that has more to do with my lust of exhibitioning myself at parties.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to beargonewild)

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Post #: 26

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 10:22:12 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I usually start by tying the beautiful subbie up so I can fully receive the gift of her noble submission. Once the stupid cunt is tied up, I then proceed to cut the gift out of her chest and dine on her still beating heart over a glass of Chianti.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

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Post #: 27

RE: BRAND new to the lifestyle, 1st meeting - 7/31/2007 1:33:14 PM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

sounds charming, Michael. lol

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

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Post #: 28