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MadameMarque -> RE: So do Dommes hate men? (8/1/2007 11:05:01 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cyberdude611
They were talking briefly on the radio today about dominatrices and basically said that they are all just radical feminists who hate men and are just looking for an easy way to make a buck.
It seems dommes are viewed in a very negative way by the vanilla world...even more negative than male doms.
What do you think is the basis of these stereotypes and is there any truth to them?
(It's not clear to me, but I'll respond assuming you're talking about women who identify as dominant, rather than professional dominants, who may or may not be dominant, in their personal lives:)
Yes, these “theories” about dominant women (they are not facts, since they’re incorrect, and they can’t be opinions, because opinion is irrelevant, in matters of fact), are based upon limitations that society likes to support and perpetuate, to what women can be.
First and foremost, is the problem society has with the idea that a woman would want something just for herself – more particularly, that she would want something sexual, just for herself. Not for catering to someone else’s fantasies, not because she’s paid to do it, but – the same way a man wants what he wants: because he wants it, because he feels like it – you know? Because sex and desire and aggression and the impulses to dominance and submission are human.
Along with that, it is an uncomfortable thought, for people in a male-dominated culture, that a woman also takes satisfaction and excitement in being aggressive, in dominating, in being served and prioritized, in having sex on her terms and with whom she chooses, rather than being society’s perpetual handmaiden, at home, in her family, with her lovers, at work, in the world, at large.
– that she’d want just for her own pleasure, that she’d let another person sacrifice, for her, voluntarily, that she would aggress, to take and have what and whom she wants, and enjoy doing it.
The proof that people find these ideas about women threatening, is in the sorts of statements you’ve quoted. It’s in the question you post, here.
If it were just a question of not understanding voluntary D/s and SM, the question would have been, “Do dominants hate the people they dominate?”
Oh, and by the way? Feminism is your friend. That is because, by far the majority of what men think is wrong with women, is caused by the long term, systematic persecution and downing of them.
And, oh, I do love men.
“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” -
coined by Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler
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