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BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 11:56:47 AM

octavia

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I know a little about BDSM and I know a little about sex addiction, I think it would be good to point out however that I am by no means well versed in either topic. Lately I have been wondering though, how the concepts of sex addiction relate to BDSM. I don't think that everyone interested in wiitwd is an addict, I mean. I guess i would concider myself interested in bdsm, and even go so far as to say that sex without D/s dynamic holds little interest for me. I don't feel addicted to it though. What about fetishes? For some reason I have it in my head that a true fetish means you can't get off without the presence of your fetish there. Is that true? I do know a bit about the psychology of things, but am looking for others real life experience percpective with this.
thanks!
oct

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RE: BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 12:02:14 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Yes, you're pretty much on the mark regarding true fetishes. However, the word is often used as slang in the kink world to mean "Something that almost always will get me really excited"

Sex addiction is more encouraged and allowed within alternate sexualities, specially one as hedonistically based as bdsm and kinky stuff. This is often to the detriment of the addicts sadly enough- worse than pro-anna groups.

Most people when they get into kinky sex, find that they prefer it always or almost always to non-kinky sex. That's no more addictive than saying you prefer red cards over blue.

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RE: BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 12:18:47 PM

MissAidan

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For anyone who wants some good, solid information on sexual addiction, google Dr. Patrick Carnes (spelling may be off). It's an addiction that I struggled with in my teens, though I am proud to say that I've been sober since before I got into the lifestyle.

I had the misfortune of discovering my sexuality waaaay too young, and I think that is a large part of the reason my addiction developed. For me, getting in to the lifestyle actually helped with keeping it under control. I'm just greatful that the first One I was with was more than willing to help me with it.

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RE: BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 12:47:26 PM

LATEXBABY64

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Octavia

I know a little about BDSM and I know a little about sex addiction, I think it would be good to point out however that I am by no means well versed in either topic. Lately I have been wondering though, how the concepts of sex addiction relate to BDSM. I don't think that everyone interested in waited is an addict, I mean. I guess i would conceder myself interested in BDSM, and even go so far as to say that sex without D/s dynamic holds little interest for me. I don't feel addicted to it though. What about fetishes? For some reason I have it in my head that a true fetish means you can't get off without the presence of your fetish there. Is that true? I do know a bit about the psychology of things, but am looking for others real life experience perspective with this.
thanks!
Oct

yep this is very true... i fit the fetish end of this.. with anything there are positives and negatives.. but what you have to be careful of sexual predators
these are people who use sex to get things or to manipulate things for the benefit of them. even abuse. they are very much sex addicts

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RE: BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 6:51:19 PM

octavia

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I guess I wonder if BDSM represents slippery ground for sex addicts. I mean, is it like hanging out in a bar for an alcoholic? Another thing I wonder about, you touched on in your post LA, it seems that a person's sexual taste seems to progress to more and more intense preferences. I guess Im wondering if this is a function of the typical psycology of most of us, or something that is more unique to those that find themselves addicted to sex in general? Any thoughts?

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RE: BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 6:57:55 PM

LATEXBABY64

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that is a good point a lot of very intellectual people have gravitated toward sexual deviant behavior. even Howard Hughes had some really interesting taste. among others. See a lot of collage educated Dommes and Dom's and subs
very interesting

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RE: BDSM and sex addiction - 8/1/2007 7:06:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: octavia
I guess I wonder if BDSM represents slippery ground for sex addicts. I mean, is it like hanging out in a bar for an alcoholic?

Pretty much. But, some alcoholics recover and can hang out in bars with no problem. And some sex addicts like me learn to enjoy sex fully for the RIGHT reasons and move past the wrong reasons and it is no longer an unhealthy addiction.

quote:

Another thing I wonder about, you touched on in your post LA, it seems that a person's sexual taste seems to progress to more and more intense preferences. I guess Im wondering if this is a function of the typical psycology of most of us, or something that is more unique to those that find themselves addicted to sex in general? Any thoughts?

My theory is that the more something has been repressed, the stronger it will surge to express itself when allowed.

I think the more we feel comfortable in something, the deeper we go.

But it's not a hard and fast rule. I really have no predilection towards needle play myself. It's just not an interesting form of play for me. But I really am into bondage and want to get into the more extreme forms of that.

What about a non kinky person who mountain climbs, deep sea dives, walks in volcanoes and takes a young kid into Toys R Us? That's a lot more extreme than what a bunch of kinky people on a normal weekend usually do.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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