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S&M? - 8/1/2007 2:46:25 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
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i got to thinking about what my Dom told me the other day while i was being spanked. He was telling me that somethings i can take hard, for example the cane, when i'm not all emotional. So it got me wondering for all you sub/slaves on how you got into the S&M part of your relationship.
1) Did you have to work into it to accept more pain? Or did you know the nautrally you'd be able to take it?
2) What kind of methods do you use to block out the pain, if you needed to?
Thank you

Post #: 1

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 2:57:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Pain tolerances change all the time, and the more exposed one is to it, the more tolerance they tend to create.

Why block out pain unless it's non consensual? Do you mean how do you process pain?

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Post #: 2

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 2:57:55 PM

fairerthanshe

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Interesting question...

In other relationships, I would ask for thuddy impact play to get me "under" so that I could take various stingy implements or clothespins and the like, so that I could 'take' more without experiencing pain.

In my current relationship, pain is the focus and he wants me to feel it fully and completely. The biggest problem I have found is that I resist showing the pain. The sooner I relax and react to the pain, the more pleasure he gets from whatever we are doing.

well wishes ~ fairer

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Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

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Post #: 3

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 3:27:03 PM

IrishMist

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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

i got to thinking about what my Dom told me the other day while i was being spanked. He was telling me that somethings i can take hard, for example the cane, when i'm not all emotional. So it got me wondering for all you sub/slaves on how you got into the S&M part of your relationship.
1) Did you have to work into it to accept more pain? Or did you know the nautrally you'd be able to take it?
2) What kind of methods do you use to block out the pain, if you needed to?
Thank you

Originally, I jumped in with both feet

Just discovered that I liked the pain; the more I liked the pain, the more pain I wanted; etc.

Now though, my tolerance has changed. I am on the end where pain is nothing more than pain anymore and I just can't tolerate it in the same way that I used to be able to.

/shrug

as LA said...tolerances change all the time for different reasons.

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Post #: 4

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 4:08:34 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
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I like pain. I'm not exactly sure how I knew. I have surprised a few people with how much though.

How much I can take depends very much on not just the pain, but the other person, and what their motivations are.

I'm still learning in that respect, and always will be.

You do get better at managing pain the more you practice.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 5

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 4:25:14 PM

ExquisiteFeline

Posts: 124
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Yeah i agree with LA also.
But, Relax. Just relax, if it is getting to much, less resistance.
The most profound experience i have recently have on this issue was with my dentist, somehow in the professional environment, and the vunerability that one is placed into in the dentist chair puts a dentist in quite a Dominant position. My dentist is very quiet, and directive, i pretend he is a James Spader character (he always play the same parts) i even dress up in my high heels, etc. I was always a hopeless dentist person, my fists clenched, resisting, pulling away, begging for more pain killers, the dentist personality scared me, and they would usually get really pissed off drug me up and go hard i guess.
But with my new dentist relationship, (it helps because he is totally drop dead gorgeous ;) i am totally relaxed, no resistance, therefore no pain during or after, root canal and hardly any drugs, which means i can get on with the rest of my day.
It is our resistance to pain that makes it hurt, whether it is physical/emotional/psychological, by accepting you may just find that your tolerance in well beyond where you thought it was.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 6

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 5:14:32 PM

grlneedstolearn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Pain tolerances change all the time, and the more exposed one is to it, the more tolerance they tend to create.

Why block out pain unless it's non consensual? Do you mean how do you process pain?

Sorry, but yes i did meant "How do you process pain?"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 5:39:13 PM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
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For me, fear is the one emotion that destroys my pain tolerance. If I trust and am unafraid, then I can go with it, even if the intensity is high. And when I say "fear", I'm not talking about that wonderful roller-coaster surge of adrenaline... that's part of the reward.

On the other hand, a variety of physical things can mess with how much pain I can take. If I hurt due to being ill or injured, then "the pain hurts". In our relationship, the amount of pain isn't the thing my Lady is after. She's focused on forcing some very specific responses and emotions and gets them. Intensity of the experience is the key for us. YMMV.

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Post #: 8

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 6:00:15 PM

daddysliloneds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Pain tolerances change all the time, and the more exposed one is to it, the more tolerance they tend to create.

Why block out pain unless it's non consensual? Do you mean how do you process pain?

Sorry, but yes i did meant "How do you process pain?"

i process most pain in a myrad of ways, and usually i get almost all of these feelings through-out the administration of pain:

sexual pleasure, relaxing, invigorating, freeing, unwinding, unloading, melting, flying, burning, catharic, glorious pain

the bad pain i process as:

ow, shit, fuck, god-dammit, stop, red, i said red you stupid mother-fucker and it makes me feel like:

okay, that was a little too much, then it's too much, then i feel like i'm crippled/paralyzed from the intensity , then the world starts spinning, i want to puke, i can't breathe, i want to run, to the inevitable, passing out cold or grabbing the shot-gun and threatening to kill the mother fucker.

soooooooo, i don't process bad pain in a way that's emotionally or physically healthy for me, and because of that, i know for a fact, that it wouldn't be physically healthy for anyone to try to give me more than i know i can handle...

i'm not an endurance slut when it comes to pain.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 9

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 6:49:37 PM

Daes

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From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
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In my experience, it has been more mental than anything. The human body can take a Lot of pain, I think a lot of the endurance has to do with mental preparation and strength. Sometimes you can take a lot, sometimes you feel it needs to stop. It all depends on what's going on in your head and also what kind of tool is being used.

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

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Post #: 10

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 8:53:24 PM

grlneedstolearn

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Thank you Daes for that insight. It seems to me that the day before i run through my mind on how well i'm going to be; but when the time comes than everything goes away and i can't think straight so it seems the pain is more than i can bear when in actuality it's my emotions running awry

(in reply to Daes)

Post #: 11

RE: S&M? - 8/1/2007 9:42:30 PM

calicowgirl

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Joined: 9/5/2006
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I think for me emotions and how I am allowed to deal with them, as well as my frame of mind, cause the most change in what I can or can't handle. I have trouble expressing myself so tend to sink into the pain, breath through it, feel it deep in a way that makes me all floaty.

As for always knowing... until about a year ago, I had no clue. I am still far from finding my limits as far as pain goes. The only thing I know for sure is I have enjoyed the type and amount of pain I have experience so far.

cali

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Post #: 12

RE: S&M? - 8/2/2007 5:34:25 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

i had a wonderful first Master that started out very slowly with me, mostly to overcome any fear of pain...which is always greater than the pain itself. He mixed very pleasurable activities in with the cane and crop. Over time i could accept more and more until suddenly...and it happened in one particular evening...i flew and all pain became pleasure.

It did have a lot to do with my mood/emotions of the day, and his as well. But once i am warmed up, usually with a flogger, and fly off into subspace then almost any implement can be used and i will feel no pain. Getting there just means feeling every strike, absorbing it and not anticipating the next one...just to relax into it.

Now i find it a great stress reliever when i feel the need to be 'purged'. Others stomp around wanting to hit something, i want to get beaten. Same result...everybody feels better. On those days i tell the Top, "You can slow down or stop when your arm falls off."

i would add that you really really really gotta trust the guy with the weapon...to go at your pace. Otherwise it just hurts.

Love and light,
sage

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It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

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Post #: 13

RE: S&M? - 8/2/2007 5:52:46 PM

classykindasassy

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Joined: 12/13/2005
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Your hormones can affect how much pain you can take on any given day. Significant stress lowers my tolerance. Sometimes the endorphins kick in, sometimes not. It is hard to know until you're in the situation - but developing your mental control through meditation or spiritual practice helps. I really like another posters strategy of doing thuddy play to get things gogin, and then moving to nastier implements. This realy works for me. So does the mental and emotional engagement of my dom.

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Post #: 14

RE: S&M? - 8/2/2007 6:52:16 PM

lonlyrossInNeed

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for me how i got into SM was for the other form of stress releas i figure and a friend helped me to get the same thing from consensual play like canes and floggers as i was getting when i would cut myself just a safer way then i got more into depth and leanred to need play more and more then i started enjoying it for more then just stress realeas

ross.g

< Message edited by lonlyrossInNeed -- 8/2/2007 6:53:13 PM >

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To know what pain is hurts the most
pain is not just a wound in your flesh
pain is a dagger in your heart

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Post #: 15

RE: S&M? - 8/3/2007 1:57:22 AM

CrazyC

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Joined: 9/28/2006
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1) I have always been naturally turned on by scenes of being tyed up, ball gags, and spankings...and especially when the TV or movie showed some typse of mystery... at a very young age. So in a vanilla relationship when the guy made me come from spanking, i know i wasn't going to live without it. It just took me three more years to find the right guy to explain what i was searching for, and alot of guy in between that put me to sleep when we did have sex.

2) I have never used the blocking method for pain. Everytime i do the pain is harder to handle. I embrace it and enjoy what it is doing to me body, and relax with it.

_____________________________

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Post #: 16

RE: S&M? - 8/3/2007 2:57:04 AM

MadameMarque

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If you'll allow someone on the giving end an observation, a person's pain threshold goes up when they are sexually excited.

Of course, for a natural masochist, being intentionally hurt tends to excite them, and the more excited they are, the more pain they can accept and like it, and often, in such a scene, the dominant/sadist/top has to call their limit for them, because they are so high, they don't want to stop.

If you have a bit of masochism in you, or if you simply get excited by your top/dominant/sadist being excited, then you can focus in a way that may get you more excited, by the pain, and therefore, get your pain threshold up.

Ask yourself:
Does it excite you when you can't escape the pain? Does it excite you to be helpless, so that the pain makes you more and more conscious of how helpless you are? Does the humiliation of receiving the pain excite you? Does it excite you to be thought of as beneath another, so that they would punish you, whether because you are in the role of student or someone younger or weaker or one of lower class or an animal or a slave? Does it excite you to be the center of the other person's attention, while you suffer? Does the dominance, the sadism, the predatory quality in the person inflicting the pain excite you? or maybe that they have a cold, detached demeanor, even while you suffer? Does it excite you to see them more and more excited, as you suffer?

If you can focus on it in a way that excites you, soon your body chemistry will help you out.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 17

RE: S&M? - 8/3/2007 7:45:42 AM

SlaveSubtoserve

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Joined: 6/21/2006
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....i enjoy many different types of pain myself and agree with Madam Marques post above re bringing in those types of feelings/psychology to incite getting lost in it all where the mind and body work together to swim/float/be swept along by it all...

(in reply to MadameMarque)

Post #: 18

RE: S&M? - 8/3/2007 10:07:09 AM

chey

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Joined: 7/1/2005
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This is in no way a generalization, this is simply how it is for me! I do not like pain! In general I enjoy some impact play and can become aroused by certain things that are painful for me (could be the same as a scary movie triggering this reaction). However, when I am engaged mentally and connected there I am most aroused and that is when I begin to react in a positive way to the pain. In other words, a lot of people just want to "get to it" in terms of play. Ehhh...I suppose I could do it, and probably enjoy myself a little bit, but when they get into my head...that is when I find myself in a whole other place and the pain is something else, something not bad as it normally is for me. So the answer for me in how I can "take" more pain is in my partner getting to me mentally, call it my foreplay? As far as blocking out the pain? I prefer to breath, and calm myself and just accept it, let it be almost part of me for that time.

Good luck, I hope you get some advice that can help!

cheyenne

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Post #: 19

RE: S&M? - 8/3/2007 11:26:04 PM

suggababy23

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Joined: 10/16/2005
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I find that I can take more pain depending on who I am playing with. I am able to be more free and open with people I feel close to and those who I am familar with. The way I process pain is by screaming and crying. I am a very vocal person and honestly, the louder I get, the more relaxed I am. Its like taking the pain is a way for me to push out more mental and emotional pain. I always feel relieved and at peace after a good hard spanking, flogging, caning, etc.

Hope that answers your question!

sugga

(in reply to chey)

Post #: 20

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