RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O)

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 10:01:58 AM

Alumbrado

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Time to adopt the acronym of 'TTWDNM'

(That Thing We Dare Not Mention).

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 10:02:59 AM

Bobkgin

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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Bob, I'd like to understand this entire thread a bit better. Could you explain what community it was in which you felt slighted? It may help me (us?) respond a bit better.

Now John. I don't think that would help this discussion.

Suffice it to say there have been -very- few forums where those on the edge or extreme or eccentric readily fit into the flow of the majority.

Nature of the beast and no one's fault.

It's when those in the majority (and not necessarily all or most of them) go on a witch hunt for those who do not follow the "one true way" (invariably their way) that people are ostracized and problems arise.

I feel all forums have the potential to be welcoming places where ideas are shared and constructive advice offered. They needn't be places of negativity for anyone.

It's really a matter of putting ourselves in the shoes of someone who has never experienced community before.

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 10:03:59 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

Time to adopt the acronym of 'TTWDNM'

(That Thing We Dare Not Mention).

*shudders.....* urgh.... that is as bad as the usage of the UMs like it makes a difference...

Peace
the.dark.

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 10:08:07 AM

Rover

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Bob, if you don't see value in that then perhaps you can allow that I (and others) might find value in it. Frankly, I think it's rather germaine to this discussion because it frames the group you're suggesting is representative of BDSM as a whole.

And as for your experiences with forums judging other people's kinks, that's also something that I haven't experienced with any degree of regularity. Exceptions being some privately owned and run groups which operate much like private play parties... you abide by the owner's rules.

And the only "one true way" I see being professed is yours. In this thread and others.

John

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 10:14:20 AM

BitaTruble

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~FR~

I think I'm beginning to get the drift of how you think, Bob. There is a circle in which those things that harm another, with or without their consent are wrong and labeled as something other than kink (perhaps labeled as sick?) and anything which falls outside that circle must and should be accepted as kink so long as adult informed consent goes along with the package.

This is my interpretation of what you've stated. If it's incorrect please enlighten me.

It seems the upset is in those issues which you believe have fallen outside the circle, which are, in fact, things to which parties have consented and engage in with their partners. There was some thing which fell outside the circle you see yet was condemed by a majority. Since you refused to put on the clothe of the sheep, you were excluded from continuing conversation and thereafter marked.

Wear the mark with pride, wolf, and fuck the sheep. They'll still be there for dinner later.

You don't have to tolerate any narrow minds nor set foot in a universe which is not your own. You do, in fact, get to make the rules for how you choose to live .. as do we all. And for those of us who engage in activities which may fall within 'your' circle, we must needs to suffer for the consequences of our own choices as well for our cirlces may be larger or smaller than your own and may contain things which would abhore you or thrill you.. but they are ours, our pleasures and our demons with which we must contend.. as your circle and what lies within and without are your own.

Celeste

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 10:25:12 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I feel all forums have the potential to be welcoming places where ideas are shared and constructive advice offered. They needn't be places of negativity for anyone.

Yes, but you can't please all the people all of the time - and you can't make people feel welcome - that comes from within them. Each person has responsibility for their own feelings and reactions, including yourself. You can try and try to be 'friendly' and yet still someone will feel rejected or negative and cry 'clique', whilst pointing a finger.

quote:

It's really a matter of putting ourselves in the shoes of someone who has never experienced community before.

But do you really feel that strong a need to belong to anything - something? What happens to people who do not want to be 'part of a community' - but exist within it as themselves? As celeste says, fuck the sheep and their mentality. It does happen - sometimes it's undeserving, sometimes its not even there or a part of ones own imagination, and sometimes its all due to the superegos that exist (which is entirely different to 'ego') - but when you let if effect you then that gives someone power over you that you don;t want. Be proud to make the stand and be the individual you are and fuck the rest, quite frankly.

And remember that BDSM isn't any 'better' than those outside of it because it contains those outside, inside.

Peace
the.dark.

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 11:08:41 AM

fadedlace

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~~ fast reply~~

This, while not exactly promoted in the news article as "BDSM," was said to be a regular part of their sexual activities...one that I'm not sure I'd classify as literally "insane," but it's the closest I can think of right now as an example of what others *might* call "insane" to do as part of play. It's certainly an activity I'd avoid at all costs (and I'd actively avoid anyone who enjoys playing with loaded weapons as a part of their play), because I don't want to kill anyone or be killed for a sexual thrill. I like being alive, and accidents and death do happen.

http://www.wafb.com/Global/story.asp?S=6880793&nav=menu57_1

It's titled "Bizarre Sexual Twist in Lake Charles Shooting Death"

*edited 'cause a word jumped in there that didn't belong*

< Message edited by fadedlace -- 8/3/2007 11:11:43 AM >

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 11:38:10 AM

DarkDaddyZ

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I feel you, sometimes as kinky folk we wear flame retardant attire because we expect to be flamed, for our kinks, our lifestyle choices etc we all have the expectation that because we are all kinky that we expect someone to accept our kinks. That's just not going to happen, that's like saying we are all left wing liberals and I know that several in the lifestyle aren't.

Bottom line to me is this: Enjoy your kink and those you may meet that have similar kinks and lifestyle and don't take it too seriously. Have some fun or listen to Wang Chung..

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RE: That ol' "that kink is insane" refrain (o.O) - 8/3/2007 12:08:48 PM

Bobkgin

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Just wanted to let you folk know I've caught up (this far) and to let you know I hear you.

Celeste: you described what I do pretty good, not just the way I look at it but your advice matches up pretty well with the way I handle it.

I agree we ought to have the self-confidence to weather the storms, as there will be more than a few with the kinds of choices we make.

I think its always a good idea to shake out the cobwebs that collect over our assumptions and previous judgments to see if they're still valid.

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