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Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/slave?


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Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/slave? - 8/3/2007 7:04:07 PM   
SirEbonyPhoenix


Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline 		Recently, a fellow Dominant introduced me to a female bottom, who for the most part is a newbie and is not sure of what she wants as far as the lifestyle goes. So far, she seems to show an interest in certain kinks, but nothing extreme. With this in mind, does a bottom have the potential to be a submissive/slave? Any ideas?

< Message edited by SirEbonyPhoenix -- 8/3/2007 7:06:36 PM >

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/3/2007 7:07:32 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Well ... yes.

See if she digs taking non-sexual direction. And how quickly. And how well.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/3/2007 7:29:20 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		The two are not mutually exclusive.  On the other hand, there is no correlation between the two either.  Bottom line... maybe.  It depends upon the individual.
 
John

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/3/2007 7:33:25 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Quite right, slavish. Quite right. Does a bottom have the potenial to become a slave? Of course, any bottom has the potenial to become a slave. But it's really dependent on the man trying to master her.

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/3/2007 7:35:49 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Of course she does.  It depends on her and the man and their particular dynamics.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/3/2007 8:29:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Considering a single person may be a bottom, submissive, slave, dominant, master, slut, whore, fetishist, and more...sure, no reason why not.

Whether A particular person has the capacity for A particular orientation...well that just depends on the person.

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/3/2007 9:05:13 PM   
SirDraco7


Posts: 108
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		Yes she does have the potential.  But it all depends on her.   Some might try it and find it's not for them.
It's like a flower...  care for it and nurish it, and there may be one that never blooms no matter what you do...  similar here.

If you are willing to take the time to help her grow then try and see if she will bloom.  But know that she might not, and any time spent with her would be a waste.(in a sense towards building a future relationship..  if you have fun then it's not a waste)  But even still if she does not bloom, you both might have your hearts broken, so tread carefully untill you know one way or another...  Just my 2 cents

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/4/2007 4:02:16 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I think many people confuse the noun 'submissive' with the adjective 'submissive.'  (Yes, yawn, English lesson here.)

A person who is submissive, isn't necessarily submissive to everyone.  In fact, very (VERY) few people are.  A person who is submissive to only one other person, can still be a submissive.

When someone says "I am a submissive" I don't automatically assume they are a submissive person.  I believe they prefer to be the submissive person in a D/s (power transfer) relationship.  For this dynamic to work, she must have a combination of naturally feeling submissive to the dominant, and actively choose to behave in a submissive fashion to that dominant.  A bottom, especially a newbie bottom, isn't (yet) focusing on the D/s elements.  Some people aren't interested in power exchange relationships.  They prefer to be equals, that enjoy/prefer fetish activities where they are on the receiving end; that's really the definition of a non-submissive bottom (for me.)  This doesn't mean they won't naturally be submissive to some (or many) people; it simply means they don't seek a power transfer based relationship.

To complicate things further, a person who is a non-submissive bottom, may grow to actively embrace power transfer.  A D/s submissive may also grow to actively reject power transfer.  I think lifestylers are often too quick to assign static, permanent stations to themselves and others, which defies the oft touted 'journey' that represents the personal growth and exploration that is an integral part of the lifestyle experience.

Stephan




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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/4/2007 5:37:42 PM   
BDsbabygirl


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		*applaudes Stephann* Lo-o-ove that explanation! I myself have only been doing this for a few weeks and have probably been thru a lot of the possibilites you outlined; my Dom and I started out as vanilla friends then moved into a vanilla romantic relationship. Because I am naturally catering to my man and much prefer to take direction than to give it (as long as it's given using the right "phrasage"), I read up on BDSM because I knew from conversations we had when we were still just friends that it's something he's long been into. He never pushed me into being a sub - in fact, I once asked him if he was gonna try to "turn" me into one and he answered that he'd never try to change me and make me into something I am not - but it just naturally evolved that way. In addition to catering to my man, I'd always thrived on "spoiling" them, too, so adjusting as a sub has been moderately easy for me...still, there are times I am rebellious. Fortunately for me, he respects me and respects that I need time to feel "completely comfortable in my skin", so he doesn't push me. To this end, I find myself giving up my power more and more. At first, I was just "bottom"ing while we were pretty much 'equal' outside of the bedroom. Now, I go to him when there's a big decision to be made (like getting my navel re-pierced and designing my latest tattoo) or when I want to do something he may not be happy about (like buy myself personal "toys"); three weeks ago, I would've made these decisions on my own ... I must admit to being a little anxious, too, though. I know he'd like to move in together ASAP but I am resisting the idea just because I am not yet ready to give up things I've gained since I lost my husband (ex-to-be), things like deciding what to watch on tv, how long to stay on the computer, what music to listen to, what time to go to bed, etc, things that he cannot realistically control right now. As time goes on, I know I will be willing to give up my decision-making in these areas. Do I think I'll one day be ready to be a 24/7 sub? I don't know, the idea doesn't sound good right now but neither did giving up some of the things that I have. So, I guess I must 'never say never'...

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Collared by Master Big Daddy on Monday, 7/23/07 at 2:35pm

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RE: Does a bottom have the potential to be a submssive/... - 8/4/2007 8:34:38 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		anything is possable

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A Sensual Touch
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