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Stephann -> RE: collars (8/4/2007 4:19:00 AM)
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Briefly, and this isn't to sound heavy handed,
If you're not sure how to express to the potential sub, in your own words, what (a) collar(s) mean, you're probably going to have a very, very difficult time convincing her to wear one.
Truly, they are like rings. It can mean "I like you" it can be a promise ring, it can mean engagement, it can mean marriage, it can mean marriage for 50 years, and it can just be a reminder to pick up your drycleaning. It will be up to you to explain to a submissive what it means, when you give it to her. The rules associated with that collar will be something the two of you need to decide for yourselves.
I prefer total power exchange relationships. I retain sole ownership of my collar. It isn't 'her' collar, and I never say to her "you need to polish your collar." I say "You need to polish my collar." Wearing my collar, between us, is a symbol of my assumption of authority over her life. Period. She is permitted to voice her thoughts and opinions, certainly, but the final decisions she is left with, are to obey, obey, or obey. Or beg release. Yes, this isn't for everyone. I use a two collar system, though; the initial training collar that she wears for any period of time I see fit (to be seen much as 'dating' in the vanilla world.) And the final slave collar, to represent a lifetime committment (as a wedding ring would indicate; ideally, for me, this collar comes in conjunction with said marriage committment.) The color, size, shape, and material really aren't particularly important to me, though one of the posters here, VadFarkus, makes excellent collars and can be found at http://www.dreamstrike.com/bazaar/collarmain.html - other sites to check out are http://eternitycollars.com and http://bondagecollars.com
Remember, your milage may vary. Enjoy.
Stephan
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